Self Improvement

Personal Development - No One Can Stop You

2008-08-22T01:46:00.002-07:00

The problems of the world can be eliminated and solved by individual people like you and me, and through no other means than by those people purely concentrating on personal development and personal growth. We need to be able to recognize the essential humanity in ourselves and also in the people we meet.

Every time you open a newspaper or watch TV, listen to the radio or search the internet it's the same thing nowadays: nothing but a seemingly endless succession of scenes of killing, robbery, rape, bombings, war and nastiness.

It can make you depressed if you let it.

Many commentators talk and write endlessly about the reasons for it all, and especially in the case of wars, governments and leaders of countries spend a lot of effort justifying themselves. It's funny how they always seem to have some innocent and noble reason for invading a country or bombing the civilian population of that country, isn't it?

In my opinion there are two major reasons why this situation continues, even though everyone hates it.

The first is a way of thinking that I have named The Badge Mentality. Under this mentality, you gather round and stay with those people who are wearing the same badge as you. Even if you maybe do not like a person very much, he is nevertheless wearing that badge, and it is the same as your badge. Actually, in a way, you do not even have to bother about making a decision as to whether you like him. That really does not matter. And why is that?

Because he is wearing the same badge.

And all those other people, the ones who are wearing different badges? We don't trust them, of course, and we go ahead and obey our so-called leaders when they order us to kill them.

What form does this badge take? It can be a common nationality or a common language or a common skin color or even a common interest in a particular football team. The reason why there is conflict on Earth is because we have conditioned ourselves to see others as wearers of a badge, and we judge them by that, rather than trying to see each person as an individual human being.

The second reason for the continuation of this situation is if everyone blindly accepts the views and explanations of the political leaders, who are just saying whatever will keep them in office and preserve things as they are. This is why I say that if today everyone on Earth decided to ignore these so-called leaders, and instead, each person concentrated on his or her personal development as a human being, then we would have world peace in a very short time from now.

And yes, I am talking in terms of around next Tuesday.

But, you might say, maybe it is a little bit selfish to be pursuing personal development when there is so much trouble in the world? No because your own personal development is something you can start on right now, right here, today. And if enough people begin on a program of personal development, it will not be long before they develop a force too powerful for mere governments to withstand.

A personal growth revolution can never be imposed from above or from outside. So if it is going to happen, then it is for you to start it rolling, where you are, right now.

Peace is always there to be found within yourself.

Robert Paterson is a believer in the cause of personal development for world peace. He is also a very useful person to have in your pub quiz team. You can read more on the whole subject of Personal Development, and get some advice, tips, ideas and information by clicking on the following link http://positivehighenergy.blogspot.com/.

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Three Important Questions - What to Ask Yourself When Making an Important Life Decision

2008-08-22T01:46:00.001-07:00

As a coach, I don't have the answers. What I do have are the questions. Questions are powerful tools we can use to create a deeper awareness and shift perspective. Often, when asked a question, you will stop to think about the situation in ways you have never done before. There are times when I ask my clients a question and they reply with something like "I have never thought of it that way before," or "No one has ever asked me that." Questions can be provocative and create an awareness you might not have had before. I found that to be true for myself when I was trying to make a business decision. Coaching myself by asking three important questions allows me to make a thoughtful decision.

I was perplexed about what to do with a difficult business decision. I remember reading the book, The Power of Focus, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt. I pulled it off the shelf, laid it on my desk, and it opened to page 128. There in the middle of the page in bold black letters were the words, "The Three Big Questions." I read the section and was struck by the simplicity and the power of the words. The section explained how Warren Buffet, the financial guru, decided whether or not he would have dealings with a company or with an individual. He first asked himself three questions:

Do I like them?
Do I trust them?
Do I respect them?

"If any one of these questions results in a 'no' the deal is off." I decided that if this process was good enough for Warren Buffet, it was good enough for me. I asked myself the three questions. The answer to two of the questions were no and the deal was off. Asking the questions made me realize how important relationships are to me, and that I have to like, trust, and respect the people in my life regardless of how profitable or beneficial the deal might seem.

These questions can be used in many situations, not just business. As the book points out, "Why would you choose to build relationships with people you don't trust, don't respect or don't like?" It is a good question. "There are lots of excellent people out there to enjoy your valuable time with. So whether it's marriage, a business partner or hiring a sales team, choosing the right people is critically important to your future health and wealth."

Okay! You are going to say there are certain people that have to be in your life. No, there isn't; but I will give you that there are people that are somehow connected to you and will show up where you are from time to time. For those people, you need to avoid them or limit contact. You can be respectful when in their presence, but they don't have to be in your life. Disconnect emotionally from them and you might notice that their presence will have little or no effect on you.

Who you spend time with will determine what kind of life you have. Allowing people into your life that you don't like, don't trust or don't respect is bound to be disappointing even disastrous. I used to think I had to put up with certain people; after all, don't we have to like and be nice to everyone? No! Actually we don't. Be respectful yes, but that is all. We don't have to invite them into our lives or try to build a relationship with them. I have created boundaries and standards where I simply don't allow people I don't like, don't respect or don't trust into my life. Since I have set these boundaries, it is amazing who has shown up in my life. I now have the most amazing people around me.

Resource
The Power of Focus, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hanson and Les Hewitt, Health Communications, Inc. 2000.

Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD is a human potential expert who believes in the power of action to create the life you crave. For her free report that will make you wealthier, healthier and happier starting today click on http://www.365daysofcoaching.com/daily_action.htm

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Short-Term Memory Improvement - The Right Way to Practice Basic Word Association

2008-08-22T01:46:00.000-07:00

There is a right way and a wrong way to practice basic word association. It does seem somewhat boring and if you have done any searching at all for memory improvement techniques you certainly have heard of it. You might even have discounted it. But I want you to put all of that aside for now and accept that their might be a more interesting and more effective way of doing it.

Word association seems reasonable to some people but what if you forget your association? It has happened to me before. I take the time to remember someones name and then I forget what I was supposed to associated the name with.

The problem was that the association was not strong enough and obviously not memorable enough. In order to make the association strong enough or memorable enough it has to be as compelling and interesting as an excellent movie. The way you do that is by making the association colorful and vivid and animated enough so that when that person whose name you are trying to remember walks toward you again, you look at him or her, find your association easily, because it is so colorful and animated and funny that it returns to you like a storm of memorable feeling.

The name "Clarke" for instance you give you a picture of Superman. You look at Clarke's tie, and you see a picture of a big red "S". The name Mary might give you a picture of a wedding dress, but you have to associate the dress to something about Mary. For example, if Mary is wearing a skirt or a dress, you look behind it and see the longest train you have ever seen on a wedding dress.

Memory enhancement techniques need to be practiced until they become automatic.
Find out how to awaken your photographic memory.
http://www.mightymemory.info

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4 Problems Illness Support Group Leaders May Discover

2008-08-07T21:36:00.003-07:00

After planning for your new illness support group for weeks, or perhaps even months, it's finally time to have your first meeting. You've gone through the steps of preparing a proposal to start up a support group. It's been approved by whoever is in charge, such as an organization or church. And you've put together a welcome folder for all the people who will attend. You have topics to discuss, speakers scheduled, and perhaps even a study planned.

So, you're meeting is sure to run perfectly, Right? Unfortunately, all the plans in the world cannot cancel out a few unforeseen situations. Below are four of the aggravations you may experience during those first few meetings. Knowing what hurdles you may encounter can help you be prepared in advance.

(1) Few people attend.

How it feels: Disappointing. After all the work you put into it, not to mention the passion you feel about doing this, it seems like such a wasted to just have one or two people show up. Understand that this can be typical, especially at first, when everyone feels a bit intimidated. Try not to take it personally. To be honest, you are fighting an uphill battle in getting people to attend a chronic illness support group, because when people feel ill, they usually want to stay home, not go out and socialist. But when they are feeling well, they'd prefer to do something more fun then sit around and talk about their illness.

What to do: Hope for the best and prepare for the few. As a Christian organization, the HopeKeepers small group program founder says, "Although it's disheartening when just a couple of people show up, I know that God created that appointment. When I led a group once, just one person came, but we had the best conversation and she admitted that she was extremely shy and likely would not have even spoken if other people had attended the meeting."

Keep a summary of your lesson plan, even including the topics that were discussed. This way you can easily "replicate" the meeting another time with little preparation. Lastly, consider calling people and, without adding undo pressure, ask them what challenges are preventing them from coming? Is it transportation? Is it the time of day? How could you make it easier for more people to come?

(2) Everyone seems to ignore your lesson plan.

How it feels: You may be quick to assume that your ideas are just not interesting or helpful enough for people's circumstances. You may even feel a touch of anger that people don't appreciate the time you spent preparing.

What to do: Allow some flexibility at first and then add in more structure as the group meets. The truth is that most people are probably excited and even relieved to have other people who understand what they are going through. Simply gathering people together in one room and can open the floodgates of emotions that people have held back for years. It's hard to hold up a book and a lesson plan and force people to remain focused when a member is in tears over the ending of her marriage, for which she blames her illness. This situation can occur at any meeting, but may be more frequent during the first month.

Share with your new friends about your desire for the group to be a safe place where people can share their deepest fears and challenges, but that you also want to make sure everyone leaves feeling more refreshed than when they came. Tell them you respect their time and want to get them out on time (and they can talk afterwards if they wish). Explain that to do so there will be times when you move from a very emotional setting towards closing the meeting with an uplifting article, scripture, poem, prayer, devotional, etc.

(3) Everyone just complains about everything! Their relationships, the medical professionals, their illness-the list is never ending.

How it feels: Like you are expected to manage a small riot. There are many built up emotions where people have experienced deeply wounded feelings, unjust consequences, and even medical errors. It can seem they want you to fix the situation or else they will talk incessantly about it to everyone.

What to do: Set up some basic guidelines before your first meeting if possible, and include the "venting guidelines." Read "10 Ways to Make Your Illness Support Group Uplifting." Set a timer and allow everyone to have 60 seconds to share their most frustrating experience of the week. Start a contest with a prize for who handled their situation the best or most creatively. Or be silly and give an award for someone to take home for the week, like "Aggravated the Alligator Award" (a rubber alligator)

Don't forget to include others in the conversation. For example, say, "Jane, some of us can really relate to what you are feeling. Is there someone here who would like to share how she or he has dealt with these emotions?" If you are doing a lesson plan, say, "Since I want to get you all out of here on time, lets move on to question six, and if someone has some encouragement for Jane, they can share that with her after our meeting." (Make sue that someone is you if no one else steps forward.)

(4) One person continually dominates the conversation; she takes over the meetings and completely disregards your plans or people who are trying to talk.

How it feels: Aggravating! You've spent a lot of time preparing for this special time and to have someone come in and take on an overbearing leadership role can be exasperating. When you can see the person leading your group down a path of negativity, you may also be worried about how many people she is scaring away. Will others think this is what your group is all about?

What to do: Set firm boundaries from the beginning. While it's vital that people are encouraged to communicate their frustrations, they are also responsible for respecting others in the group. They need to watch their language, the quantity of time they dominate a conversation, and how they comment on people's treatments or decisions.

Put together some simple guidelines at the beginning that you hand out to new members in a welcome folder. Then if the person dominating the meetings doesn't get your hints, speak with her privately. You may also want to put her in charge of a certain part of the meeting so she can have a designated time to talk and be in a leadership position. When situations like this occur, people can be gently reminded of the guidelines they received when they first joined the group. It won't feel quite as personal as you correcting their behavior.

In conclusion, understand that leading an illness support group is not the uncomplicated task it is often assumed to be. Sometimes we think of it as simply letting people know when you're getting together to share and support one another, loads of people show up, and everyone's personalities click perfectly. Don't be alarmed if it doesn't work this way.

It takes a special person who can effectively communicate with people to lead a support group. A facilitator must be able to gently guide people in the path you wish them to go, so that the group makes a positive emotional impact, rather than becoming a complaint forum. A leader be compassionate, but also able to set boundaries or diffuse anger. As circumstances arise, ask other leaders for ideas and support. And most of all, remember that no leader ever feels one-hundred percent capable. Having a willingness to learn and listen are some of the top leadership qualities in which to invest.

Do you have a chronic illness? Get the first 40 pages of "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend" when you sign up for our monthly ezine HopeNotes at http://www.restministries.org/res-ezine.htm Plus find other articles all related to chronic illness and information on National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week at http://www.restministries.org Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries which serves the chronically ill through Christian resources and other programs and support group materials.

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Right Livelihood and Your Life Purpose

2008-08-07T21:36:00.002-07:00

What is "right livelihood"?

Right livelihood is your life purpose put into action. For example, if your life purpose is to teach, you may become a seminar leader, school teacher, or work in developing nations to help the people improve their living conditions.

Although your life purpose is unchangeable, your right livelihood is always subject to change. In the previous example, one person could easily have experienced all three aspects of their life purpose of teaching.

Very few people have one job for 40 or 50 years any more. Even professionals such as doctors and lawyers who have huge investments of time and money in their professions are changing their right livelihood. For example, I know several lawyers who have shifted their right livelihood from practicing law to becoming life coaches. One is a dear friend of mine who was a divorce lawyer, then became a mediator, and now is a relationship coach. Several years ago my doctor decided to shift the implementation of his life purpose of healing from being a doctor to helping to heal people and the environment by creating a company that manufactured and sold environmentally benign soap products and organic foods.

Over the years, the actualization of my life purpose of teaching has shifted numerous times. At one time, I had my own roofing company and taught many women to become roofers. At a deeper level, I was teaching them self-empowerment and how they could break through self-imposed boundaries of belief about what they were capable of doing. As a Realtor, I taught innumerable buyers and sellers about staying centered and balanced with the use of personal boundaries throughout the often fear-filled process of selling and buying property.

Now I'm a life purpose coach and spiritual teacher, guiding my clients and students toward self-awareness and self-empowerment as they move toward the embodiment of their life purpose as it suits them now.

My right livelihood has changed several times during my life so far, and it will no doubt change in the future as well. As will yours.

So the question then becomes, how will you know when you're in the sweet spot of right livelihood?

It's very simple. You love what you do. In fact, you love it so much you don't want to stop doing it. You lose all track of time when you're doing it. You're not doing it because of the money - in many cases the money you receive from doing what you love is minimal or may even be nonexistent. It doesn't matter. You keep doing it anyway, because you can't help yourself. Doing anything else feels empty and forced.

Because my life purpose is to teach, I'm going to teach you a little technique to help you identify the aspects of your right livelihood. For a moment, think about the work you're doing now. Then...

1. On a sheet of paper, list everything you love or even just like about the work.
2. On another sheet of paper, list all the things you don't like or hate about the work. Knowing a bit about human nature, I'll share with you that the hate list will be hugely easier for you and it will probably be much longer. That's good, because...
3. When you're done with the list of negatives, transform everything into its opposite. Those things you hate so much will then become things you'll love. As an example, my job from hell would include working in an office with no windows and no one to talk to. The opposite for me would be working in an office with views of the forest (which I actually do have and am enjoying as I write this),
4. Add the transformed negatives to your love list.

This will get you started on your way to your right livelihood by helping you to clearly identify the things you love about your life purpose work.

Kathy Wilson helps people get their life unstuck using a co-creative, multi-faceted approach. She and her clients utilize life coaching, spiritual consulting, NLP, vibrational healing, and teaching... whatever is in her client's highest and best interests. She's a Certified Professional Coach, spiritual teacher, Reiki master, vibrational healer, and author of An Inner Journey: Living Your Life Purpose. For information about her products, services, and classes, visit her websites: http://www.under-one-roof.net and http://www.warrior-priestess.com

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I Know I'm Here to Do Something Awesome If I Could Only Work Out What it Is!

2008-08-07T21:36:00.001-07:00

So perhaps NOT being rich and famous has compensations.

For us more ordinary people - working in a job with little stimulation so we can raise our children; pay the mortgage and fill the car with petrol is our most likely scenario.

Having worked with literally thousands of workers over the years, I know that the majority of people in our organizations feel the soul-lessness of the daily grind. Sadly, they don't see any way out of their situation, or even any way to grow and add value to the organization they work for. They feel they are tied because of the mortgage and their desire to give their children a better life than they possibly had. And that is very laudable but it is also very sad.

Fortunately, it doesn't have to be that way.

When I speak at conferences, I share with my audiences, what I call, the four stages of knowing.

1. LOGICAL - it's logical that I become an accountant because I am good with numbers and am an organized sort of person. And everyone, school counselors, my teachers and even my parents urge me to follow this path, because it's safe and will provide a good income for the rest of my life

2. EMOTIONAL - yet in my heart I want to be an artist. At every turn I am told - no, no, no. You can't make a living doing that. Become an accountant and paint in your spare time.

3. PHYSICAL - I believe that if a person goes against their inner instincts, eventually they will get sick! Headaches, high blood pressure and depression are often the results of an unfulfilled person living an unfulfilled life.

4. SPIRITUAL (knowing) - trusting that if I do what I love, the rest will be taken care of.
At which point I usually hear the chorus of BUTs. 'Ah yes but, that's OK for you to say - I have a mortgage." Who hasn't? "I have children to put through college." Who hasn't? "I have responsibilities." Who doesn't?

Do you think your children would rather have a happy and fulfilled Mum or Dad, or one who is depressed and joyless and bitter and twisted?

It's always easy to find excuses or to blame someone else - our partners, the government, our parents - whoever. It takes courage to follow your inner knowing.

If this is the only life we have, then surely it is our duty to make it the very best life it can be. To use the God given talents we know we want to use rather than the soul-less skills other people see as our road to safety and security and boredom and blandness.

Every single one of us has to take personal responsibility for our own lives and the situation we find ourselves in.

I'm not suggesting that overnight a person throws everything away. I am suggesting that people get really clear what it is they want to do (or be). To set a clear course for getting there - whether that will take a year or two or even five. And to get started.

My own journey was a classic. I was working As an HR Manager in a corporate environment on a salary to die for - and I was doing just that - dying. I would drive into work in the morning with tears rolling down my cheeks. I decided I had to get out. I had a mortgage and teenagers and was a solo Mum. But I also knew that if I stayed doing what I was doing, they may not have a Mum for much longer. I had those symptoms - headaches, backache, LOW blood pressure and the beginnings of depression.

And so I plotted my escape. I gave myself two years to be out of that place and in two years almost to the day I was. I saved every cent I could during those two years so that when I walked away I had the equivalent of 6 months pay stashed away. And even that wasn't enough. We ended up having to sell our very flash house and down-trade to a much more modest home. But I was a happier person, a better Mum and I was setting out to do something I loved. A reward in itself.

It took me 7 years to get back to the level of income I walked away from - but the pay had never been my incentive. I just knew if I stayed in that environment I would die.

Did we have to make sacrifices? Of course we did. Did it have an effect on my children - yes I think it did. But I don't think it actually did them any harm. I involved them in my finances and my decisions, and we became a team. My son was amazing - he was a far better shopper than me - he would scout out all the bargains and specials. I think it made my children better people too. It showed them that they too could make choices down-track. That they didn't have to be stuck in a job they hated working for people they didn't respect.

I absolutely, and totally believe that we have to listen to that inner voice.

Getting to where your heart leads you isn't always easy. It absolutely isn't a soft option. But living half a life isn't much of an option either.

I want to get to the end of my life and be able to say, 'That was a life worth living; I made a difference'."

And I leave you with this thought:

'Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have' - Doris Mortman

Ann Andrews CSP is a team facilitator and the author of four books - Shift Your But, Finding the Square Root of a Banana, Did I Really Employ You? and My Dear Franchisees.

She is also a contributor to - You don't Make a Big Leap Without a Gulp, The Power of More Than One and Mum's the Word.

Ann is a professional speaker, consultant on human resource issues, and MD of Teams from Woe To Go - http://www.woetogo.com and The Corporate Tool-box - http://www.thecorporatetoolbox.com

Ann can be contacted at anand@woetogo.com or info@thecorporatetoolbox.com

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Let Go of Your Problem - The 4 Questions You Must Ask Yourself to Know If You Are Ready to Change

2008-08-07T21:36:00.000-07:00

If you've been plagued by a problem in your life, especially if you've had that problem for a long time, you might assume that you'd be eager to get rid of it. You might think so, but actually, when you get right down to it, the contrary is often more true.

People get used to having their problems, even though they may be uncomfortable and you would like to get rid of them. You see, you may KNOW how to be depressed, or anxious, or sick. Those feelings, although uncomfortable, are familiar to you.

Contemplating something else is a bit scary. It may be hard to even imagine what life would be like without the problem that has been with you for so long. Contemplating and taking action to do or be something else is even scarier still.

In fact, sometimes the problem becomes your identity. The way you talk about having or working on your problem may sound like it is your career. When you talk about "my depression" it may sound as if it is your best friend. It is easy to slip into this habit, and to think that the problem is part of your life forever.

The belief that you can't change may be so strong that it blocks all attempts let go of that problem. Before any useful work can be done to change the situation, you first need to understand what that problem "means" to you.

There is a series of questions I often ask when I'm beginning to work with someone who has had a long-lasting problem or one they report has stubbornly resisted all their efforts at letting it go:

1. What will happen if you let it go?

Imagine and consider all the possibilities, both good and bad.

2. What will happen if you don't let it go?

Again, imagine and consider all the possibilities-good and bad.

3. What won't happen if you let it go?

What will you miss?

4. What won't happen if you don't let it go?

Does having this problem "protect" you in some way?

These questions help you identify the positives and negatives you associate with having the problem and getting rid of it. Sometimes there are clues about why it is hanging on. There may be a belief that you'll lose something important by getting rid of the problem.

Ultimately you need to believe that your life will be better without the problem than with it. Once you believe that and are really ready to take that leap of faith to let it go, you CAN change it.

You must be willing to risk being somewhat uncomfortable, and to let go of the problem you know so well in order to discover the life you want to have. Until you are willing to to that, you won't be ready to change.

It's actually a lot like a swinging on a trapeze. You have to be ready to let go of the swing you are one, to get where you want to go. When you are ready, there are a lot of methods out there to help you. Let it go...The outcome is definitely worth it.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach, trainer and owner of Inner Resource Center, LLC. She has 30 years of experience helping people overcome obstacles, change their lives, and reach goals they had not thought possible using her solution focused approach. She specializes in helping people get unstuck from negative emotions and limiting beliefs that sabotage their happiness. Get additional free tips and challenges for getting unstuck from her Inner Resources report at http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com or contact her for a free 20 minute consultation.

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Akron Beacon Journal Call Center Improves Customer Service With Interactive Voice Response Solution; VoicePort™ Self-Service Application and VoiceGeni

2008-02-15T03:50:00.000-08:00

SAN FRANCISCO -- VoiceGenie Technologies Inc., the proven performance leader in standards-based IVR software platforms powering next-generation speech-enabled contact centers, today announced the successful completion of a project at the Akron Beacon Journal with VoicePort LLC, a leading provider of advanced speech automation solutions for the publishing industry, to speech-enable the newspaper's Customer Care Center.

"The Akron Beacon Journal is always striving to improve the speed and ease with which customer inquiries are handled, and by deploying an automated service to complement our circulation department attendants, we are better able to expedite customer inquiries regarding, for example, delivery schedules, payments and vacation 'holds' - especially during peak periods," said Debbie Fox, Customer Service Manager at the Akron Beacon Journal, a subsidiary of Knight Ridder Publishing. The new system replaces an older, slower touch tone installation, enabling a reduction in the number of customer service representatives (CSRs) handling circulation requests, while freeing the time of the CSRs to highlight promotions (up-selling), point out bundled packages (cross-selling) and attend to complex customer interactions.

"Rather than install a traditional software setup, loading software onto in-house servers - which requires an up-front capital outlay along with the expense of maintaining and updating - the VoicePort hosted system off-site reduces costs substantially and can in many case accelerate time to deployment," added Chris Mann, President of VoicePort LLC. New System Replaces Touch Tone; Increases Usage Rates

Callers are definitely finding the system to be friendly and efficient, allowing them to complete transactions quicker, illustrated by preliminary estimates that show the usage rates of the new, automated system have increased by more than 150 percent over rates for the older, touch tone system. The CSRs are also pleased with the new system, as it allows them to concentrate on more interesting, 'higher value' tasks.

"Like most newspapers, the Journal had been losing readership to the

internet, cable television and other non-traditional news sources, which also take away advertising and classified ad revenue," said Chris Mann, President, VoicePort LLC. "At the same time, production costs - such as the price of newsprint - are rising. So we proposed a solution that helps keep subscribers and add new ones through faster, more focused, speech-enabled customer service, reducing costs and adding the opportunity to better use resources to pro-actively reach out to and in some cases market new services."

Underpinning VoicePort's CircPort(TM) application is a heavy-duty, flexible infrastructure - VoiceGenie 7 - based on open standards and capable of supporting all manner of next-generation, speech-enabled applications.

"The best speech-application infrastructure in terms of reliability, scalability and performance is one based on the latest industry standards, including VoiceXML 2.0," said Frank Tersigni, VP of Marketing and Business Development, VoiceGenie Technologies Inc., "and we're pleased to add the Akron Beacon Journal, through our partner VoicePort, to a rapidly growing list of global customers which have realized the benefits of our industry-leading VoiceGenie 7 platform."

About VoicePort LLC

VoicePort LLC is a leading provider of advanced speech automation solutions for the publishing industry. Founded in 2002 with a highly experienced team of speech engineers, the VoicePort team brings their many years of automation product development with large telecom companies to create robust, innovative applications for the publishing industry. Currently VoicePort is partnered with over Forty Five newspapers and is growing at a rate of three newspapers a month. VoicePort's speech solutions include CircPort(TM), AdPort(TM), and SpeechAttendant(TM), and it have recently expanded to introduce WebPort(TM), a self-service application for the internet.

VoiceGenie Technologies Inc.

VoiceGenie IVR software platforms provide the most flexible open standards infrastructure for supporting next-generation speech-enabled contact centers. VoiceGenie's platform is renowned for excellence in VoiceXML and also supports other emerging standards such as CCXML, X+V, SIP and MRCP. Deploying speech solutions with the VoiceGenie platform results in the lowest total cost of ownership and the best overall solution in terms of reliability and performance - VoiceGenie 7 delivers a consistent and repeatable user experience regardless of platform loading.

VoiceGenie software powers some of the largest IVR deployments in the world. Our customers include leading organizations such as Scotiabank, Sony, AIG, AT&T, Air Canada, Bank of New York, Bell Canada, Citibank, Eastman Chemical, France Telecom, Hertz Germany, India Times, Merck, Motorola, Netflix, New York Daily News, SCANA, Suncoast Media, Ticketmaster, TV Guide, Tyco, Verizon, and many others.

Sandra's Psychic Solutions: Get yourself healthy in mind, body and

2008-02-15T03:48:00.000-08:00

FEELING good about yourself enhances every area of your life and can even improve your health.

If you operate from a basis of self-confidence and self - esteem, your relationships with others are happier and your work and life become more fulfilling.

Every one of us is sacred, every man is a god and every woman a goddess.

By working to improve your self -image and self - esteem, you can connect to your inner Higher Self, or Spirit.

This is the special, wonderful part of every human being, the inner power many of us are afraid to tap into. Taking steps to improve your self-esteem can help you connect to this powerful source of LOVE, HEALING and HAPPINESS. 1 - Stop criticizing yourself - we live in a culture obsessed with perfection, and put ourselves down for every little imagined shortcoming. Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend, with kindness and encouragement.

2 - Stop comparing yourself to others. There is always someone better looking, slimmer, more successful around. Don't forget there are others out there who would love to be like you.

3 - Spend time looking in the mirror, and work on liking what you see. Change your hairstyle, start exercising or experiment if you feel you need to make improvements to your appearance.

Learn to love yourself as you are by using Affirmations. Look yourself in the eye and say "I really love you, you're beautiful" as often every day.

4 - Accept what you can't change, and change what you can't accept about yourself. 5 - Enrich your spirit by setting aside some time every day for relaxation, deep breathing or self-healing exercises.

Yoga and meditation are the best paths to inner power and harmony. First thing in the morning and last thing at night are best.

Try breathing slowly and deeply, in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Imagine yourself inhaling bright golden light, and exhaling grey clouds of worry, sickness and problems.

Even five minutes of this will help you achieve inner harmony.

With a little bit of work on yourself, you can tap into an endless source of positive energy that will help you find Harmony, Contentment and Peace of mind.

Tell me how I can stop this

bleeding

Dear Sandra,

My problem is heavy periods. Over the last two years my periods have become irregular and I frequently have flooding.

My doctor has recommended a hysterectomy but I'm afraid of surgery. I'm 43 years old.

Julie, Co Cork

Dear Julie,

This is quite a common problem at your age, as you are moving towards your pre-menopausal years. I suggest you try a herbal supplement called Agnus Castus, which has a hormone-like affect and will help stop the heavy bleeding.

Royal Jelly, preferably in liquid form and Wild Yam will help, particularly if you are experiencing symptoms such as nightsweats, bloating, confusion, agitation or irritability.

You also need a good vitamin supplement, which must contain Calcium to avoid the risk of Osteoporosis.

Try to eat a healthy diet, cutting down on caffeine, sugar and fats, and increase the amount of fruit and vegetables you eat each day.

You should notice an improvement within three to six weeks, and if you don't you should consult your doctor again.

Am I pregnant?

Dear Sandra,

I have been going out with my boyfriend for five months now. We are both 17. He is an Aries, I am Aquarius and we have had sex six times. Now my period is three weeks late and I'm afraid in case I'm pregnant.

Can you tell me if I am pregnant? If I am will my boyfriend stand by me? My parents will go mad and my boyfriend's mother hates me.

Can you tell me what's going to happen to me?

Lisa, Dublin 14.

Dear Lisa,

I'm afraid it is very possible that you might be pregnant. If you don't want to go to your family doctor, make an appointment to see a doctor in the Well Woman Clinic.

You need to have a pregnancy test and a health check, too. You will find the address of your nearest clinic in the telephone book. It is very important for you to have advice and support at this time.

But you must speak to your mother as soon as possible. Don't worry too much Lisa, your parents really love you and will stand by you.

Of course they will be shocked and upset at first, but before long they'll be excited at the prospect of a new grandchild.

Your boyfriend really cares for you but I feel he is quite young and immature for his age, and may find it very difficult to deal with the responsibility of parenthood.

Lisa, I have to say to you that having unprotected sex is very, very foolish and you are learning a hard lesson at a very young age.

If indeed you are pregnant, you will bring a very special little person into the world.

Motherhood is a magical, experience and to love and be loved by your child is the most precious thing in the world.

If you continue to have unprotected sex you run the risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease like AIDS which can kill you.

Courion's Self-Service User Provisioning Solution Implemented by SunTrust Banks to Streamline User Administration; AccountCourier Helps Company Improv

2008-02-14T03:10:00.001-08:00

Courion(R) Corporation, a leading provider of self-service identity management solutions, today announced SunTrust Banks has implemented automated role- and rule-based user provisioning with Courion's AccountCourier(R). Building on its implementation of Courion's automated password management solution, PasswordCourier(R), SunTrust Banks leveraged its self-service user profile creation to extend its identity management strategy to automated user provisioning. AccountCourier is able to provision accounts for new employees without requiring detailed technical knowledge. AccountCourier automatically discovers the required technical information, and through roles, business rules, and location, provisions users with the proper access. What's more, the immediacy of automated account disablement prevents any security loopholes associated with orphaned accounts.

"In a recent Burton Group survey, we identified that one of the keys to a successful user provisioning deployment is a solid alignment of business functions to user entitlements," Kevin Kampman, practice manager and senior consultant, Burton Group. "The investment in a proper definition exercise that results in a tight coupling of business roles and rules to the managed environment will insure that the specific objectives of the enterprise are addressed over the entire lifecycle of the provisioning endeavor. It also helps to model the solution to the culture of the organization, so that it becomes accepted as an integral component of business operations." "Courion has partnered closely with us to ensure a significant return on our investment," said Tim Callahan, vice president and manager, Enterprise Technology Risk Management, Project and Support Services, SunTrust Banks. "The solutions' ability to integrate with our infrastructure and ability to leverage roles and business rules are two key factors in our success. It has helped us improve service levels to those areas where we've implemented AccountCourier."

"Like so many organizations, SunTrust had many complicated provisioning processes," said Chris Sullivan, director of professional services, Courion. "Unlike many organizations, they did not wait for complex 'hard-to-do' infrastructure projects like management hierarchy and directory initiatives to be completed before they automated provisioning. By embracing Courion's methodology for leveraging what's available and automatically adapting to change, SunTrust was able to realize efficiencies while improving service to internal users."

About Courion

Courion Corporation is a leading provider of self-service identity management solutions that help enterprises drive operational efficiency by securely automating routine, manual processes. Courion's Identity Management Suite(TM), anchored by its AccountCourier(R) user provisioning and PasswordCourier(R) password management product lines, leverages existing infrastructure and integrates disparate workflows within the enterprise to optimize user productivity, strengthen security, reduce costs and ensure efficient regulatory compliance and reporting.

Over 200 enterprises including more than 50 FORTUNE 500 customers rely on Courion's solutions to streamline identity management operations. These include industry leaders such as American Electric Power, The Boeing Company, Children's Hospital Boston, Fannie Mae, GE, Office Depot, SunTrust Banks, government institutions such as the U.S. Internal Revenue Service and U.S. Census Bureau, and large not-for-profit organizations such as Kaiser Permanente. For more information, contact Courion's headquarters in Framingham, MA, USA at 508-879-8400 or visit www.courion.com.

Courion, AccountCourier and PasswordCourier are registered trademarks of Courion Corporation. All other company and product names may be trademarks of their respective owners.

The Book Paths to Wealth Through Common Stocks Contains One Original Concept after Another, Each Designed to Greatly Improve the Results of Those Who

2008-02-14T03:08:00.000-08:00

DUBLIN, Ireland -- Research and Markets (http://www.researchandmarkets.com/reports/c71542) has announced the addition of Paths to Wealth Through Common Stocks to their offering.

Paths to Wealth Through Common Stocks summarizes not only the method by which worthwhile profits have been and will continue to be made through common stock ownership, but policies that make by far the greatest profits at the least risk. In doing so, the book attempts to do two things. First, it shows how the investor (or his advisor) can determine the occasional company with outstanding management that is likely to provide the vehicle for tremendous increases in market value over a long period of years. Second, it indicates when the shares in such unusual companies may best be bought and the much rarer occasion when a stock that has been well selected in the first place should be sold. Paths to Wealth through Common Stocks contains one original concept after another, each designed to greatly improve the results of those who self-manage their investments -- while helping those who rely on professional investment advice select the right advisor for their needs.

Originally written by investment legend Philip A. Fisher in 1960, this timeless classic is now reintroduced by his well-known and respected son, successful money manager Ken Fisher, in a new foreword. Filled with in-depth insights and expert advice, Paths to Wealth through Common Stocks expands upon the innovative ideas found in Fisher's highly regarded Common Stocks and Uncommon Profits -- summarizing how worthwhile profits have been and will continue to be made through common stock ownership, and revealing why his method can increase profits while reducing risk. Many of the ideas found here may depart from conventional investment wisdom, but the impressive results produced by these concepts -- which are still relevant in today's market environment -- will quickly remind you why Philip Fisher is considered one of the greatest investment minds of our time.

About the Authors

PHILIP A. FISHER (1907-2004) began his career as a securities analyst in 1928 and founded Fisher & Company, an investment counseling business, in 1931. He is known as one of the pioneers of modern investment theory. After writing this book, Fisher taught at Stanford as one of only three to ever teach the Graduate School of Business Investment Management course. His other writings include investment classics such as Common Stocks and Uncommon Profits, Conservative Investors Sleep Well, and Developing an Investment Philosophy.

KEN FISHER is best known for his prestigious "Portfolio Strategy" column in Forbes magazine, where his twenty-three-year tenure of high-profile calls makes him the fourth longest-running columnist in Forbes's ninety-year history. Ken is the founder, Chairman, and CEO of Fisher Investments, a multi-product money management firm with over $40 billion under management. His success has ranked him #297 on the 2006 Forbes 400 list of richest Americans. He is a regular in the media and has appeared in most major American finance or business periodicals. Fisher also recently authored the New York Times bestseller The Only Three Questions That Count.

Content Outline:

Foreword.

Preface. The Need for Additional Investment Books.

Part I. Adjusting to the Key Influences of the 1960's.

Stocks and Inflation; Institutional Buying; Foreign Competition; Increased Population; The Economists Go Out, the Psychologists Come In.

Part II. How the Greatest Increases in Stock Values Come About.

Alert Corporate Management; A New Concept.

The Role of Institutional Buying; A Reward Usually Overlooked.

Part III. You and Where Your Investment Business Must Go.

Methods of Investment Evaluation; Five Steps for Selecting the Right Investment Counsellor.

Part IV. Trivia, but not Entirely.

What About Mergers? Voting Rights and Proxy Fights; Stocks and Election Prospects.

Part V. Major Growth Industries of the 1960's.

Chemical; Electronics; Drug; Others; The False Growth Industries of the Post-war Market; What About Oils?

General Cosmetic Surgery

2008-02-02T02:52:00.000-08:00

We often hear people comment that the ‘First impression is the best impression’, i.e. the person who displays the best self-image makes the best impression. Competition rules today’s world and people have realized the importance of self-improvement. This improvement can be for social or professional reasons. Self-improvement means overall improvement in the personality. Cosmetic surgery is a very popular avenue for personal enhancement.

The term cosmetic surgery defines a process, which helps improve appearance. It is commonly understood that regular exercise, skin care and nutrition are just right for personal enhancement and keeping the body fit and toned. However, we are talking about real structural change here and cosmetic surgery is the only answer to that. Cosmetic surgery is a revolution in scientific and medical history. It provides an opportunity that defies both time and genetics. There are many techniques in use for cosmetic surgery. Each of them depends upon the area or the part of the body that requires enhancement.

Liposuction is one of the most commonly performed cosmetic surgeries. Liposuction is a definitive answer to people round the world, who are facing problems of obesity and fat accumulation. It removes excess fat deposition from areas, which may be resistant to dietary control or exercising. Another cosmetic up-gradation includes the facial cosmetic rejuvenation technique. This is also commonly known as a face-lift. It involves permanent removal of undesired fat substance from the face tissues, resulting in a much more firm and healthy face.

Every person has the right to behave in certain manner, but cosmetic surgery is that magic wand which gives you the right to look the way you want. There are many cosmetic surgery techniques available in the market, but the most common ones include those, which have the highest number of cases as registered by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Some of the procedures for figure improvement include breast lift, abdominoplasty or tummy tuck, breast reduction and finally cosmetic breast surgery also known as breast augmentation.

Cosmetic surgery is more popular with celebrities who can pay for the hefty price tag that comes with it. Cosmetic surgery is a one-stop solution for improving your physical appearance. Thus, more and more people are moving towards the idea of cosmetic surgery. Although cosmetic surgery provides such great benefits, it has a few disadvantages as well. Some people become addicted to cosmetic surgery. This case is termed as body dysmorphic disorder. In addition, if it is used several times the normal body structure is affected and some irreversible damage is done.

How Stress Management Products And Services Help With Self Improvement

2008-02-02T02:51:00.000-08:00

There is a link between stress and self improvement. Positive stress can provide a catalyst for personal change. However, negative stress can block us from moving forward in life. It can paralyze us and enough of it, over time, can destroy our self-esteem and entrench limiting self-beliefs. Therefore, managing stress is an essential first step in undertaking any self improvement program.

There are five specific stress management products and services available that can support our self improvement. These are:

1. MEDITATION cassettes and CDs. Meditation lowers the heart rate and brain wave activity and can be very healing. It relieves stress and calms internal chatter allowing you to be free for even a little while of harmful, negative self talk. This will allow you the opportunity to replace these beliefs with new positive ones.

2. SELF-HYPNOSIS. Self-hypnosis is an effective method of reprogramming the mind with positive, helpful beliefs which will help you to achieve your goals and create a better life. They can be effective in programming new beliefs that help you to quit smoking, lose weight, concentrate, increase creativity etc.

3. HYPNOSIS. If you would rather rely on a professional practitioner instead of trying self-hypnosis, there are many qualified hypnotherapists who use hypnosis to assist clients to manage stress and overcome challenges. Make sure your practitioner is registered by a reputable organization and has professional qualifications.

4. TEACHING. There are many teaching cassettes, CDs and DVDs available which teach strategies to minimize the impact of negative stress. Managing time, learning when to say yes and when to say no and using anchors to quickly change your emotional states all help to minimize stress.

5. NATURAL THERAPIES. Herbs can be used to help with stress management. Chamomile, valerian and St John’s Wort are all popular herbal remedies for stress. Withania is a very effect stress relief herb, but is usually only prescribed by qualified herbalists. Energy therapies can also be very effective stress management tools. Kinesiology, for example, uses muscle testing to identify energy blockages and limiting beliefs and assists in the release of old negative energy and stress. Bach flowers are remedies that work on an emotional level and as such are also excellent stress management products.

6. COUNSELING/COACHING. Counselors and coaches can provide one-on-one help to help you manage the stress in your life and achieve your goals. They teach skills and strategies for coping, direct you to appropriate reading material and monitor results. They also provide the opportunity for you to be accountable which reduces the likelihood of procrastination and avoidance. A good counselor or coach will often also act as a mentor and encourage you in the pursuit of your goals.

Self-Improvement - Something For Everyone (Part 2)

2008-02-01T02:38:00.000-08:00

Just about everyone in the world can think of something they want to improve about themselves. With some people they may want to achieve more than one improvement. The best way to approach this is to make a list of what is most important to you. It could be something as simple as reading a book to help you improve the work you do or making time for yourself to indulge in reading of your favorite pastime. Once you commit your deepest desires about improving yourself to paper, it seems more attainable.

Start off with a plan. This means setting a goal for yourself. If you wish, you can even set a time limit, such as "I want to be able to walk five km. a day at the end of the summer." When you start out knowing what it is you want to achieve, then it makes it easier on you to get what you want. There is no point in trying to do everything at once. If you take small steps and reach stages in your self-improvement process in increments, it makes the end result more worthwhile. If you could do it all at once, then it would be too easy and you won't have the same sense of accomplishment as if it were something that you had to work really hard to get.

In some cases, the type of improvement that you want will necessitate spending money. If you want to become more confident at public speaking, for example, you may have to take classes in this. If you admire a friend of yours that can sew or paint really well and you would like to do this as well, there are many opportunities to take classes at night or on weekends. One thing that you do have to keep in mind is the amount of talent that you have for such a project. It is also something in which you have an interest. If you don't like it, then you won't master it.

Of course, self-improvement always involves health, whether it is health of the body or health of the mind. Once you achieve what you set out to do, it improves all of you - your body, mind and soul.

Change Checkpoints and Improvement Milestones

2008-02-01T02:36:00.000-08:00

"When you arrive at a fork in the road — take it." — Yogi Berra, major league baseball Hall of Fame player and coach

Many paths lead to higher performance. The high performance route is individual and unique for every person, team, and organization. There is no one or best way. What works for me, or anyone else, may not work for you. We can't follow someone else's path. We need to blaze our own trail.

While no route is exactly the same, successful organization change and improvement efforts cover similar territory. Highly successful organizations have passed most of these change checkpoints and improvement milestones as they move toward ever-higher performance levels:

__ Clear and compelling reasons for changing and improving

__ Balanced focus on people, management, and technology

__ Strong ethic of self-determination

__ Comprehensive and balanced improvement model

__ Clear and compelling picture of our preferred future

__ Three or four core values

__ Definitive statement of purpose, business we’re in, or why we exist

__ Rich and continuous customer/partner performance gap data

__ Intense exploring and searching for new markets and customers

__ High levels of experimentation, pilots, and clumsy tries

__ Robust process for disseminating team and organization learning

__ Three to four strategic imperatives for each annual improvement cycle

__ Direct links between all improvement activities and strategic imperatives

__ Comprehensive and balanced improvement plan

__ Improvement planning structure, process, and discipline

__ Well designed, proven approach to process management

__ Clarity on the preferred types and focus of all teams

__ Well trained team leaders and members

__ Intense levels of technical, management, and leadership skill development

__ Simple customer/partner, innovation, capabilities, improvement, and financial measurements

__ Active feedback loops that foster learning and improvement

__ Flat, decentralized, and team-based organization structure

__ Systems that serve and support customers and partners

__ Extensive and continuous education programs

__ Effective communication strategies, systems, and practices

__ Partner-designed reward and recognition programs within a vibrant appreciation culture

__ Strong development of change champions

__ Support for local initiatives

__ Annual progress reviews and improvement assessments

__ Frequent celebrations of major breakthroughs and small wins

__ Annual refocus and planning for the next year's improvement cycle

Management teams can use this list in a variety of ways. It could be a simple checklist for the development of improvement strategies and plan. They might have everyone on the team rate how well the organization and/or team is doing in each area now. Or they might have everyone rate the improvement urgency of each of these 31 areas. Another possibility is to have everyone do both rating exercises to provide performance gap data."When you arrive at a fork in the road — take it." — Yogi Berra, major league baseball Hall of Fame player and coach

Many paths lead to higher performance. The high performance route is individual and unique for every person, team, and organization. There is no one or best way. What works for me, or anyone else, may not work for you. We can't follow someone else's path. We need to blaze our own trail.

While no route is exactly the same, successful organization change and improvement efforts cover similar territory. Highly successful organizations have passed most of these change checkpoints and improvement milestones as they move toward ever-higher performance levels:

__ Clear and compelling reasons for changing and improving

__ Balanced focus on people, management, and technology

__ Strong ethic of self-determination

__ Comprehensive and balanced improvement model

__ Clear and compelling picture of our preferred future

__ Three or four core values

__ Definitive statement of purpose, business we’re in, or why we exist

__ Rich and continuous customer/partner performance gap data

__ Intense exploring and searching for new markets and customers

__ High levels of experimentation, pilots, and clumsy tries

__ Robust process for disseminating team and organization learning

__ Three to four strategic imperatives for each annual improvement cycle

__ Direct links between all improvement activities and strategic imperatives

__ Comprehensive and balanced improvement plan

__ Improvement planning structure, process, and discipline

__ Well designed, proven approach to process management

__ Clarity on the preferred types and focus of all teams

__ Well trained team leaders and members

__ Intense levels of technical, management, and leadership skill development

__ Simple customer/partner, innovation, capabilities, improvement, and financial measurements

__ Active feedback loops that foster learning and improvement

__ Flat, decentralized, and team-based organization structure

__ Systems that serve and support customers and partners

__ Extensive and continuous education programs

__ Effective communication strategies, systems, and practices

__ Partner-designed reward and recognition programs within a vibrant appreciation culture

__ Strong development of change champions

__ Support for local initiatives

__ Annual progress reviews and improvement assessments

__ Frequent celebrations of major breakthroughs and small wins

__ Annual refocus and planning for the next year's improvement cycle

Management teams can use this list in a variety of ways. It could be a simple checklist for the development of improvement strategies and plan. They might have everyone on the team rate how well the organization and/or team is doing in each area now. Or they might have everyone rate the improvement urgency of each of these 31 areas. Another possibility is to have everyone do both rating exercises to provide performance gap data.

Motivation - The Defining Moment of Self-Improvement

2008-01-31T03:53:00.001-08:00

For any aspect of self-improvement, there has to be a reason for you to start and keep going. That is your motivation - the reason for doing what you do. In order to attempt any sort of improvement in your life, you need to be motivated in some way to get started. Strategies for self-improvement start with defining what it is you want to achieve and then charting a course through which you can effect the improvements or changes. These do not have to be drastic changes - they could be something as simple as making time for yourself to write in a journal each day or something to improve your health, such as quitting smoking.

Motivation comes from within. It is something that you want to do for you. This is what keeps you going, getting up each day and going off to work. Children are often the motivating force behind parents saving money, when they would ordinarily blow it on something frivolous. You know that you will need money for your children's higher education or to give them the extras that they want, such as toys and brand name clothing. This is the reason that you work each day, maintain a home and spend time enjoying each other.

If you don't have something to look forward to or see some sense of gratification in what you do, then there is no motivation to get doing it. Just meeting with colleagues helps you get a sense of who you are and your place in the world. Socialization, confidence and improvement are three main aspects of life. When you enjoy life, you can be motivated to achieve great things. Achievement does not have to be something that everyone recognizes. It can be something as simple as learning to make a quilt or to use a saw to create beautiful woodwork. The end result is the feeling of accomplishment that you have in yourself.

Multiple Benefits of a Home Improvement Loan

2008-01-31T03:51:00.000-08:00

A home requires renovation from time to time to keep up its beauty and comfort. But, you may not be able to manage the cash necessary to carry out the renovation work. So, you can take help of home improvement loans for making any kind of improvement of your home. It will advance you cash to accomplish the home improvement works which you cannot carry out by yourself.

You can use the home itself to take a home improvement loan if there is any equity available in it. In this case you can offer your house as collateral and take a secured home improvement loan. It will provide you some important benefits like low rate, small repayment installments, longer loan period and flexible terms etc. You can also borrow a big amount. But, your house may be repossessed by the lender if you fail to pay off the loan.

However, you can take a home improvement loanwithout collateral also. It has its benefits like fast processing and quick money lending.There will be no risk of property repossession and no expenditure of property assessment. But you may have to pay comparatively high rate of interest for this loan. It’s because the lender undertakes greater risk by offering the loan without collateral.

Home improvement loan can be availed even if your credit score is less than perfect. Modern lenders do not look at your past financial record. Rather, they consider your present financial stability and the amount you want to borrow. So, getting approval for a home improvement loan despite your bad credit record is no more a tough task. So you should not shy away from applying for a home improvement loan simply because you have a poor credit history.

The author is a business writer specializing in finance and credit products and has written authoritative articles on the finance industry. He has done his masters in Business Administration and is currently assisting home improvement Loans as a finance specialist.

Clarity and Self Improvement - Why We Must Know What We Want

2008-01-30T02:06:00.000-08:00

One of the biggest reasons that many people have trouble with self improvement and building a successful and happy life is that they have no idea what they actually want.

If asked what they really want from life, many people will say that they want to be rich, or happy, or financially secure, or not to have to work so hard, or other equally vague answers. And one of the biggest reasons that these people are not making the progress that want is actually BECAUSE these answers are TOO vague. They have no clear idea of what happiness or being rich or whatever, actually means to them.

As a result they drift from day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year. Before they know what happened, the best years of their lives have passed them by and they are probably little, if any nearer to being happy or rich, or whatever they thought they wanted than they ever were. In order to have the life of our dreams, it is essential to take the time to work out and define EXACTLY what we want in detail.

Exactly what does happiness mean to you? What amount of money in the bank or income would make you feel rich or financially secure? What would you do with your time if you were to only work part time or retire early? And possibly the biggest question of all – WHY do we want the things that you want?

If we have big enough Whys, we will almost certainly find the Hows. This does involve effort, but the rewards make it more than worthwhile, and there is detailed help available from Self Improvement Experts if more inspiration or help is needed getting started

If we make the effort to clarify what we want, develop plans, take action and keep working towards our desires, self improvement and progress will certainly follow, and nothing can stop us. Not only can nothing stop us, but when we are clear about what we want and where we are going, doors can open and unexpected things can happen that will actively help us to achieve our goals.

Self Improvement Quote of the Day:

“Simplicity, clarity, singleness: these are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy" – Richard Halloway

Home Improvement DIY - 4 Easy Steps to Starting on the Right Track

2008-01-30T02:05:00.000-08:00

One of the great American passions is to work on homes. From fixing damaged items to self-renovating certain areas of their homes, home improvement DIY brings joy, excitement, and adds "human" value to any home. This article will cover various areas of Do-It-Your-Self home improvement and starting tips for home owners.

Where to Start?

First, set your budget. Estimate the cost you are willing to give and adjust quality for your budget.

Step two - Start your planning process.

The main ingredient to any successful project starts from the planning. Before you start any project, make plans to envision goals and requirements for your completed project. Try to make a blueprint or drawing of your completed vision. When you draw out your vision, your project will start to make better sense with each and every idea you generate.

Take steps to add colors, feel and texture. Look at popular home improvement magazine to stimulate your ideas. Never be afraid to ask for help and opinions. Another popular starting point for people who are truly at a lost is to just copy popular designs, tips and ideas derived from home improvement magazines.

Step three - Research the Workings of Your Project

Many people are not equipped with the necessary skills and knowledge of a professional renovator. Take a trip to your local home improvement store for a quick consultation from the more experienced staff and owners.

Also, your home improvement store will usually be stocked with a number of easy-to-follow instructional leaflets and videos catered to various DIY tasks; which can be purchased at a fairly inexpensive price.

Step four - Catalog your materials

Purchase, stay on budget and catalog your materials. As a rule of thumb, always purchase materials that cannot be found anywhere else except your local DIY store or home depot, FIRST, before you look at salvage yards, thrift stores or yard sales.

Depending on the stature of your project, certain States require you to file a permit for your home remodeling, electrical and plumbing.

There you have it!

Developing a solid plan ensures that your time spent isn't gone to waste and it also allows individual task to take place in a fairly orderly fashion. The best part is, you get the feel and satisfaction of knowing that you did it all by yourself!

Start your Home Improvement DIY project today

Home Improvement Loan - Add Beauty to Your Home

2008-01-07T05:44:00.000-08:00

Home improvement loans are designed to add extra beauty and give a new changed look to your abode. It’s not a child’s play to afford home renovation for a common man, as heavy expenditure is incurred in this. Home improvement loan is hence very beneficial to make major changes in your home.

You often feel bored with the same old interior of your home. You wish to make some significant changes but due to your limited budget you have to postpone your designs. Home improvement loan is very beneficial at such time. It helps you to make all those minor and major changes which you were thinking ever since you purchased your home.

Home improvement loan is an ideal choice to raise the standard of your living. You can now design your home without any worries of your financial status. It completely transforms your home, gives a vibrant change to the exterior and interior of your home. Home improvement loan can be distinguished into two major categories- secured home improvement loan, where offering collateral is mandatory for you. You bear a risk losing your property if you fail to repay. You find cheaper rate of interest and long repayment time. These loans are very fruitful when there are some big changes to be made.

Unsecured home improvement loans are its contrary. You have high interest and short repayment duration. But no risk posed to your property, if you fail to repay. They are suitable only for making small changes in your home. To get reasonable interest rate, search online. Home improvement loan also increases market value of your abode.

Decorate Your Dreams with Cheap Home Improvement Loan

2008-01-07T05:43:00.000-08:00

Home is the soul of all our dreams. To have a home of your own means having a separate peace of your own. Yet, dreams also need to be renovated; peace also is to be repaired. And, renovation or decoration of your home means to spend some money what you may not have all the times. So, what you need is a cheap home improvement loan of your choice and there is a lot of cheap home improvement loan available in the market these days.

You might always be dreaming to make your home in your leeway, which due to money constraint you could not yet make up. Now, with cheap home improvement loans you can always make it. Cheap home improvement loan works as a great help to let you improve, renovate or decorate your home in a way. Room extensions, renovating your kitchen, all you can do with this, cheap home improvement loan.

There is the option of both unsecured and secured home improvement loan in the market with cheap rates of interest. Yet, secured cheap home improvement loan gives better benefits with cheap rates of interest and more flexible terms and amount since here the collateral works as the security of the lender’s money. However, finding cheap rate in unsecured options of home improvement loan is also quite easy. This happens because both of these loans are available online which makes their rates cheap enough. Online, the lenders flock in large number which results in tight competition among them making the rates cheap enough.

Now, let’s have a brief overview of what they provide. In secured options of cheap home improvement loan, you can have a loan depending on your collateral and repayment capacity for a term ranging from 3 to 25 years while from unsecured cheap home improvement loan you can obtain loan for 3 to 10 years.

The lender in cheap home improvement loan bears all the costs to let you refresh the home with healthy spirit of cheap home improvement loan. Could you think anything better for your home?

Confidence - Let Yourself Shine

2007-12-19T22:07:00.002-08:00

When you hold up a detailed mirror to your life and weigh yourself against your ideal image of yourself, you might not be able to see the things that make you truly unique. Giving yourself permission to appreciate all the universe has given you, however, will prompt you to feel more secure about yourself and more able to use your gifts and talents to their fullest.

It might seem, for example, that you do not have nearly as much going for you as you perceive others do. You might judge your ability to do something or feel self-conscious about the way you look. It does not matter how this feeling manifests in your life, but it is important to be aware of your thoughts and how they impact your view of yourself. Remember that insecurities arise for everyone-even those who appear to be extremely self-assured-you will find it easier to step back from the uncertainty that lies within and take a more realistic look at yourself.

In truth, what you expect of yourself might be a tall order. You need to use an accurate yardstick to evaluate yourself. You are human, full of glorious imperfections that make you who you are. Recognizing this may take some time at first. If your uncertainties begin to surface, taking deep breaths while at the same time acknowledging each one of your gifts will help you become more centered. Doing this allows you to see your wonderful gifts and talents that lie within and lets your inner beauty shine forth more brightly into the world.

Empathy - Key To Compassion

2007-12-19T22:07:00.001-08:00

You might be more sensitive to the needs of others during the holiday season. You might notice your awareness compels you to bond more deeply with the people you care about. You can use these feelings of empathy to work on seeing the common thread between all humans by understanding the travail of others. Look at the people you encounter and see their humanity. Notice their expressions, how they walk, their speech - picture yourself in their shoes - imagine how you would feel if you were in their place. Think about the difficulties they might have and use your own experiences to identify with them. You will notice that by relating to the travail of others, your capacity for compassion expands. 'Compassion is the ultimate and most meaningful embodiment of emotional maturity. It is through compassion that a person achieves the highest peak and deepest reach in his or her search for self-fulfillment.' - Arthur Jersild

When you connect to the universality of humanity in everyone, you generate a greater ability to empathize with others. By connecting with the human details in others and visualizing their life as the same as yours helps you to understand that we are all one. We are all children of the universe who need to manage the same issues and undergo similar struggles. Realizing these commonalities will help you truly empathize with other. By seeing that humanity is universal, you will learn a deeper way to connect and empathize with others. "The key to developing compassion in your life is to make it a daily practice." Dalai Lama

Scientific studies suggest there are physical benefits to practicing compassion - people who practice it produce 100 percent more DHEA, which is a hormone that counteracts the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol - the 'stress hormone.'

Success - Two Key Factors

2007-12-19T21:58:00.000-08:00

As you review your goals you might feel anxious about them. You might believe that your existing plans to achieve your goals are not complete enough, or that you could encounter obstacles that shake your confidence. While you may be tempted to abort your plans and come up with new ones, you might want to work on building up your belief in yourself and your objectives.

The more you believe in yourself and your ability to succeed against all odds, the less shaken you will be by challenges. Simply set aside time to affirm your ability to handle obstacles and strengthen your resolve to forge through anything that comes your way. This will help you feel strong and empowered, even when unexpected challenges come up.

Your confidence and determination to succeed regardless of the obstacles you face can give you the stamina to achieve your goals. If your confidence is lacking, you might find yourself being intimidated by challenges that seem too large to overcome. By solidifying your confidence and determination to succeed, you can give yourself the power to be stronger than any challenge you might face.

With confidence and determination, you will feel empowered to persevere through obstacles and continue moving toward your goals. With a positive mind-set fueling your efforts, you will find that you are eager to overcome challenges, stretch your limits and achieve more than you ever dreamed possible. Your confidence and determination to succeed can alleviate any fear you might have. "It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles."

Formwork for self-consolidating concrete: there are many good reasons to use SCC—but some cautions are necessary

2007-07-25T05:12:00.000-07:00

Only a few years ago there was very little cast-in-place self-consolidating concrete (SCC) being used in the United States; this year, according to the National Ready Mixed Concrete Association (NRMCA), 2.8 million cubic yards will be placed, and 6 million cubic yards will be placed in 2006. Although SCC mixes are more expensive, contractors are learning that it's possible to save money on installation, and the results for architectural concrete are much better than when more standard mixes are used.

But constructing formwork for walls using SCC is challenging for contractors because lateral form pressures can be much higher than with stiffer mixes. Bob McCracken, vice president for research and development at EFCO Forms, Des Moines, Iowa, says that at his company's research facility they have measured lateral pressures on forms from SCC of 3000 pounds per square foot. ACI committee 347, Formwork for Concrete, is currently discussing what the maximum pressures for SCC might be. Their current recommendation is:

... When working with mixtures
using newly introduced admixtures
that increase set time or slump characteristics,
such as SCC, "full liquid
head" should be used until the effect
on formwork is understood by
measurement.

About SCC

A definition for SCC currently being considered by ACI committee 237, Self-Consolidating Concrete, is:

Self-Consolidating Concrete (SCC)
is highly flowable, non-segregating
concrete that can spread into place,
fill the formwork, and encapsulate
the reinforcement without any mechanical
consolidation.

This definition provides considerable latitude for mix ingredients and performance requirements, so the design of a mix for a particular job application becomes very important. For this reason, a representative from the ready-mix producer should be included in planning sessions on the formwork systems and any discussion of lateral form pressures, to help work out SCC mix design criteria. Concrete temperature at the time of placement must be a part of this discussion, too, since temperature determines how quickly the mix loses slump.

An admixture commonly found in SCC is a polycarboxylate superplasticizer. This new generation of superplasticizers combines high water reduction, cohesiveness improvement, and no set retardation at normal dosages--three advantages that benefit SCC. But depending on dosage and the product used, polycarboxylate admixtures can have an accelerating, a retarding, or a "set-neutral" effect. So it's important for you to talk with your supplier about the setting characteristics of the product you are using. Even though SCC is very fluid, stiffening can start 20 to 40 minutes after batching at concrete temperatures of 80[degrees] F. Richard Szecsy, vice president of new product development for Lattimore Materials, McKinney, Texas, notes also that polycarboxylate superplasticizers are cement sensitive, meaning that different portland cements affect them in different ways.

Viscosity modifying admixtures (VMA) are also used for some SCC mixes to control segregation, such as when there is a gap-graded aggregate mix. VMAs are inert admixtures, not influencing setting characteristics or reacting with other admixtures. Tony Schlagbaum, product line manager for Degussa Admixtures, Cleveland, adds that they may slightly reduce form pressures.

There are good reasons to use SCC for wall construction:

* For placements with congested steel reinforcement, SCC can ensure consolidation around the bars and good bond.

* SCC can flow as far as 130 feet from the point of placement, making it easy to place concrete in areas where access is difficult.

* When SCC is placed properly, almost no bug holes appear on form surfaces, making it ideal for architectural applications.

* SCC is less permeable, develops high early strength, and provides higher durability than regular concrete.

Determining form pressures by full liquid head

Should your formwork be designed to withstand full liquid head pressures? If you design for full liquid head, the full height of concrete in the forms is assumed to be in a liquid state. To calculate the lateral pressure, multiply the full height of the concrete by its density; 150 pcf is a typical assumption. So a 12-foot-high SCC placement would produce 1800 psf of lateral pressure at the bottom of the form. To be safe, this is the best way to calculate form pressure.

Designing and building forms assuming full liquid head also makes it possible for the contractor to place concrete by the fastest means possible. Since there is no longer any concern about whether the forms can handle the full load, there is no restriction on rate of placement. This also allows walls and columns to be pumped from the bottom. McCracken says that when you pump concrete into the form from the bottom, you must calculate full liquid head plus an additional 25% to account for pump pressures. The greatest advantage of this method is almost total elimination of bug holes.

Patient satisfaction, treatment experience, and disability outcomes in a population-based cohort of injured workers in Washington State: implications

2007-07-25T05:11:00.000-07:00

In recent years, increased emphasis has been placed upon improving the quality of health care in the United States in response to evidence indicating that quality for too many patients is not what it should or could be (Schuster, McGlynn, and Brook 1998; Chassin and Galvin 1998; Committee on the Quality of Health Care in America 2001; Kohn, Corrigan, and Donaldson 1999). A recent detailed study by McGlynn et al. (2003) identified serious widespread deficiencies in health care quality, raising further concern. Corresponding to this emphasis on quality, there has been increased interest in analyzing and monitoring patient satisfaction for purposes of quality improvement. Routine monitoring of patient satisfaction is now performed by state and federal agencies (Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services), by accrediting bodies such as the National Committee for Quality Assurance, and by private and public health care purchasers. Myriad measures and survey instruments have been developed to assess patient satisfaction (McCracken et al. 1997; Harris et al. 1999; Stump et al. 1995). Reflecting diverse purposes, studies have examined patient satisfaction at the micro (office encounter) level using instruments such as the Patient Satisfaction Questionnaire (PSQ) (Ware et al. 1983), as well as at the macro health plan level using the Consumer Assessments of Health Plans Study (CAHPS) survey (Hays et al. 1999) and other similar instruments.
The concept of an episode of care (Hornbrook, Hurtado, and Johnson 1985; Wingert et al. 1995; DeVet et al. 2002) provides a useful framework for assessing patient satisfaction. Many patients see multiple health care providers in different treatment settings in the course of having a condition diagnosed and treated. We conducted a patient satisfaction survey, organized around an episode of care framework, as part of a larger ongoing community-based initiative designed to improve quality and health outcomes for injured workers in Washington State (Wickizer et al. 2001, 2002, 2004). The purpose of this survey was to identify sources of dissatisfaction that might provide insight into processes of care in need of improvement. Started in 2002, the quality improvement initiative is being pilot tested in two sites serving target areas in western and eastern Washington. The initiative will conclude in 2006.

In Washington State, the Department of Labor and Industries (DLI) administers the state workers' compensation system and is the sole regulator of workers' compensation health care for all covered nonfederal employees. We combined the survey data with DLI administrative claims data pertaining to disability status and then performed a two-step analysis. First, we analyzed the survey data to determine which aspects of patient satisfaction were most important in explaining the variance in patients' self-reported overall treatment experience. Second, we examined the relationship of patients' treatment experience to subsequent disability outcomes. We hypothesized that patients reporting more negative treatment experience would be more likely to be out of work and on workers' compensation disability at 6 and 12 months following the filing of their claim.

METHODS

Washington State Workers' Compensation System

Workers who sustain occupational injuries or develop occupational illnesses are eligible to receive medical care through the workers' compensation system and may also receive disability payments (partial wage replacement) for injuries or illnesses resulting in lost work time (Cart 1998; Elling 1989). Workers' compensation insurance is administered at the state level and provides first-dollar coverage (no deductibles, coinsurance, or copayments) for medical care. Workers' compensation programs vary considerably from state to state in their statutory authority, organization, and ability to direct patients to certain forms of care. Washington is a "worker choice" state. By law, injured workers have the right to choose any licensed physician, chiropractor, osteopath, podiatrist, dentist, optometrist, or naturopath for their care. Further, Washington State law requires employers to purchase workers' compensation insurance through a designated public state agency, although employers who meet specific standards can self-insure. Approximately two-thirds of the state's nonfederal workforce are insured through the state fund and a third of the workers are employed at firms that are self-insured. In fiscal year 2000, the DLI expended $472.4 million for medical care and an additional $683.3 million for temporary and permanent disability payments. These features of Washington's workers' compensation program--a uniform set of benefits covering two-thirds of the state's worker population and the guarantee of broad access to medical care services unrestricted by complex managed care arrangements--make it well suited for the current study.

Stressors, quality of the child-caregiver relationship, and children's mental health problems after parental death: the mediating role of self-system

2007-07-03T23:51:00.000-07:00

Currently, there are approximately 2,213,000 children and adolescents younger than 18 (3.4%) in the United States who have experienced the death of a parent (Social Security Administration, 2000). Recent reviews have provided consistent evidence that bereavement is significantly related to depressive symptoms, withdrawal problems, and academic problems (Dowdney, 2000; Lutzke, Ayers, Sandler, & Barr, 1997; Tremblay & Israel, 1998). Multiple studies also show relations between parental death and clinical levels of mental disorder. For example, using a structured diagnostic instrument, Gersten, Beals, and Kallgren (1991) found that 9.8% of bereaved children in a representative community sample met criteria for major depression as compared to 1.3% of matched controls. Also, Worden (1996) reported that 2 years following parental death, 21% of bereaved children were above the clinical cut-point for internalizing or externalizing problems on the Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL; Achenbach, 1991a) versus 3% of the comparison samplemotivational theory of stress (Sandler, 2001; Skinner & Wellborn, 1994, 1997), major life events such as parental death affect mental health problems because they threaten basic needs. Skinner and Wellborn (1994, 1997) have argued that such events threaten the needs of relatedness, competence, and autonomy. Sandler (2001) proposed that stressors embedded within these major life transitions lead to higher mental health problems by threatening satisfaction of a similar set of basic needs, positive self-worth, social relatedness and control, and that protective resources reduce mental health problems either by directly promoting need satisfaction or by decreasing the negative effects of stressors on need satisfaction. According to Sandler (2001), children construe themselves in relation to their social context around these needs through internal self-system belief sets; self-system beliefs are viewed as reflecting the degree of fulfillment of basic needs. This paper tests whether two central aspects of children's post-parental bereavement environments, recent stressors and caregiver-child relationship quality, affect mental health problems through their influence on three self-system beliefs selected on the basis of theoretical and empirical work with children experiencing parental bereavement: fear of abandonment (sense of social relatedness), self-esteem (evaluation of self-worth), and coping efficacy (sense of control over one's problems).

The theoretical argument for the mediational role of these beliefs requires that post-death stressors and caregiver-child relationship quality influence these self-system beliefs as well as the development of mental health problems of bereaved children. The argument also requires postulating theoretical mechanisms by which stressors and caregiver-child relationships affect these beliefs and by which these beliefs in turn affect mental health problems. Below we review theory and existing evidence with bereaved samples for each of these relations; where evidence is sparse concerning bereaved children, we draw from the broader literature on children who have experienced other adversities.

Multiple researchers have found positive relations between stressors and parentally bereaved children's mental health problems (e.g., Sandler, Gersten, Reynolds, Kallgren, & Ramirez, 1988; Sandler, Reynolds, Kliewer, & Ramirez, 1992). In this research, parental death is conceptualized as involving a series of stressors occurring before and after the death of the parent that affects multiple arenas of children's lives. Parental death can lead to decreased economic resources, change in residence, loss of contact with friends and neighbors, increased expectations and responsibilities, loss of time with the surviving parent, and change in caretakers. Researchers have demonstrated that such stressors mediate the relation between parental death and children's mental health problems (Thompson, Kaslow, Price, Williams, & Kingree, 1998; West, Sandler, Pillow, Baca, & Gersten, 1991).

Death of one's spouse includes a broad array of experiences that are likely to affect the quality of the caregiver-child relationship and diminish its protective ability. After the death, caregivers need to cope with stressors such as financial hardship, moving, development of relationships with new partners, and additional household and work responsibilities, as well as with their own grief-related emotions. Dealing with these stressors is likely to result in caregivers having less time to spend with children, being less supportive and emotionally available to them, and being less effective in reinforcing positive behaviors. It is also likely that these stressors limit the caregiver's ability to be consistent in monitoring and disciplining children's misbehavior and to provide children with esteem-enhancing interactions. Further, because of task overload, these caregivers may be impatient and negative in their interactions with their children. Researchers have consistently found that positive caregiver-child relationships are significantly associated with fewer post-death mental health problems (Partridge & Kotler, 1987; Raveis, Siegel, & Karus, 1999; Sandler et al., 1988, 1992; West et al., 1991). For example, Raveis et al. (1999) reported that children who described their surviving parent as being more open to hearing their concerns and trying to understand how they felt had lower anxiety and depression. West et al. (1991) found that the warmth of the surviving parent-child relationship partially mediated the relations between parental death and children's mental health problems. Sandler et al.'s (1992, 2003) experimental evaluations of preventive interventions for parentally bereaved families provide strong evidence of the effects of caregiver warmth on children's mental health problems. Analyses indicated that these programs led to increased caregiver warmth and that improvement in warmth accounted for change in mental health problems (Sandler et al., 1992; Tein, Sandler, Ayers, & Wolchik, 2004). Although not as well studied as the affective component of parenting, research indicates that effective discipline is related to better adjustment of bereaved children (Strength, 1991; Worden, 1996).

Kumon Math and Reading Centers help children improve in school: education franchise reinforces students' self-esteem and advance study skills

2007-07-03T23:49:00.000-07:00

A YEAR AGO, GITI TINA ZAMANI WAS LEADING A TEAM OF ENGINEERS AS A PROJECT MANAGER FOR SUN MICROSYSTEMS, TODAY SHE'S HELPING CHILDREN BUILD STRONG MATH AND READING SKILLS.

"The most rewarding aspect of my career is that I am helping children discover that they have the potential to excel and reach their full potential," says Zamani, who recently opened a Kumon Center in Tracy, California. After 23-years in engineering, Zamani was looking for a career change that would positively impact her community.

Students visit her Kumon Center twice weekly after school, for about 30 minutes per subject and complete daily assignments during the week. The result of this extra study is stronger concentration, greater confidence and an improvement in math and reading skills.Parents are driving the education sector," says Mark Mele, vice president of franchising for Kumon. "Our franchise inquiries have been on the rise because parents want to make sure their children are prepared for college and the higher demands of today's work force. Our low-cost franchise also makes it more affordable for educators and professionals seeking ah entrepreneurial opportunity in education.

Change your look … instantly: here are 20 beauty boosters and quick fixes to enhance your self-esteem as you stay on track - Beauty

2007-06-19T02:24:00.001-07:00

Nothing's more frustrating than working up the drive to start your New Year's resolution -- be it exercising more regularly, eating more healthfully or losing those tenacious 10 pounds -- and then falling off your newly acquired routine just days later. When that happens, the best response is to pull yourself up and keep on moving toward your goal, says British celebrity life coach Cathy Dunbabin. The key: "Focus on looking and feeling gorgeous, and you'll be brimming with confidence and energy." So, treat yourself to these quick image-change suggestions -- you'll be looking great and back on track in no time.

Well-groomed brows can swipe years off your age. The ancient art of threading -- a precision-perfect grooming technique -- is a quick way to get them done. It takes only 15 minutes and costs about $15. Call your nearest salon for more information. To get glam brows at home with tried-and-true tweezing, try Senna Cosmetics Form-A-Brow Kit, complete with stencils, three brow powders and two brushes ($38; sennacosmetics.com).

2 Refresh with a moisture surge

No time to waste? Blue Five-Minute Mask ($28; spablue.com) is the ultimate timesaving multitasker that you can use on your skin and hair. Let set for five minutes (10 minutes on wet hair) while the blend of algae and botanicals delivers immediate hydration. In just minutes you'll look relaxed and refreshed.he days of the innocent slick of lipstick are over since the newest formulations work far better. Try Elizabeth Arden Lip Protectant Stick Sheer Tint SPF 15 ($15; at department stores); it's enriched with intensive moisturizers to relieve chapping and irritation and with the antioxidant vitamin E to protect, while four translucent shades give your lips a subtle burst of color.

4 Transform your smile

For quick Hollywood glam, visit your dentist for laser whitening. 'You can't under estimate the difference having extra-white teeth makes," says New York City dentist Robert I. Schwartz, D.M.D. "It's like getting an instant face-lift." Prefer to do it yourself? Apply Colgate Simply White clear whitening gel ($15; at drugstores) to teeth with a brush applicator. Use it twice a day, and it will help whiten your pearlies in just weeks.

5 Rejuvenate your skin

Pick up a copy of The Perricone Prescription Personal Journal (Harper Resource, 2002) by Nicholas Perricone, M.D., clinical professor of dermatology at Yale University. It's a workbook-based program for total body and face rejuvenation. And while you're getting inspired, slather on Perricone's Amine Complex Face Lift ($85; clinicalcreations.com), a daily facial treatment that nourishes with ingredients like vitamin C Ester and helps eliminate excess facial oil.

6 Make your eyes brighter

Feeling in a slump? Joey New York Opti-Brite Eye Trios ($35; 800-563-9691) are shadows infused with blue botanicals to make the whites of your eyes appear whiter.

7 Get a flawless complexion

8 Give skin a healthy glow

The beauty world's newest high-powered superstars: skin-lightening creams that promote flawless complexions by helping to fade dark spots in a matter of weeks. Try Dr. Brandt Skincare Lightening Gel ($65; drbrandtskincare.com) with 2 percent hydroquinone (the skin-bleaching compound) and fruit acids.

Fake the summer glow that has long since faded with Clarins RadiancePlus Self Tanning Cream-Gel ($45; gloss.com), which works as both a skin treatment and a subtle self-tanner. Tinted self-tanners for the body, like Lancome Flash Bronzer Tinted Self-Tanning Moisturizing Mousse ($27; at drugstores), give skin a St-Tropez glow in minutes.

9 Revive your skin-care routine

Celebs like Jennifer Connelly and Courteney Cox Arquette all swear by the Yon-Ka Paris Optimizer ($50; 800-533-6276), a delicately scented fluid with botanicals like rose hips that makes skin feel hydrated and refreshed.

10 Power clean your pores

More than a cleanser but not as potent as a full facial peel, DDF Daily Cleansing Pads Glycolic 5% ($25; sephora. com) contain the antiseptic witch hazel, along with skin-soothing chamomile, for immediate deep pore cleansing and a cellular jump-start.

11 Let smoother skin shine through

Get professional results without stepping foot out the door. New York City plastic surgeon David Ostad's Microdermabrasion in a Tube ($180; 800-494-8648) delivers, at home, exfoliating action similar to microdermabrasion. The end result: softer, smoother, more radiant skin.

12 Target those fine lines

Pond's Dramatic Results (from $8; at drugstores) is a line of anti-aging

skin-care products with 8 percent alpha-hydroxy acids, pure retinol and vitamin C. So confident are the manufacturers that you'll see an improvement, the moisturizers come with Proof Strips, a wrinkleimprint system that allows you to measure the results for yourself.

Weight loss and biomedical health improvement on a very low calorie diet: the moderating role of history of weight cycling

2007-06-19T02:23:00.000-07:00

Although weight-loss programs appear to result in significant short-term improvements in health, (1-3) only a small percentage (less than 25%) of individuals actually maintain their lowered weight over substantial time periods during the post-loss follow-up period. (4-6) As a result of widespread relapsing, a large percentage of dieters attempt numerous dieting programs and experience repetitive bouts of short-term weight loss followed by subsequent weight regain. This is commonly referred to as weight cycling or yo-yo dieting. Because of the high level of recidivism or negative rebounding, controversy has ensued about the desirability of losing weight only to regain it. Results from a seminal study by Brownell et al. (7) suggested that history of weight cycling may adversely impact the outcome of future diets. In this early animal study, obese male rats with a history of weight cycling had more difficulty losing weight (2 times slower) when subsequently placed on a calorie-restricted diet. These yo-yo-dieting rats also regained their weight more quickly following the test diet than did their non-cycling counterparts. In a more recent animal study, Gerardo-Gettens et al. (8) studied obese female rats using a repeated-measures design and found a decrease in the amount of weight lost for the second weight-loss attempt as compared with the first weight-loss attempt.
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Research studies of obese human participants have also found a reduced amount and rate of weight loss across consecutive weight-loss attempts, (9,10) suggesting findings based on animal models may be able to be generalized for humans as well. In this connection, the data are mixed. Other studies, for example, have failed to find an association between the history of weight cycling and greater difficulties in weight loss over the course of a particular treatment program. (11-14) Other studies involving humans have shown that a greater history of weight cycling may increase the probability and amount of eventual weight regain. (15)

Longitudinal studies consistently report a higher risk of mortality resulting from coronary heart disease (CHD) for individuals with a history of greater variability in their weight. This mortality effect of (apparent) weight cycling remains significant even after adjusting for age and other known CHD risk factors. (16-19) The physiological mechanisms underlying this increased risk and the extent to which these exaggerated levels of weight fluctuation were actually due to voluntary dieting efforts still remains unclear.

One proposed mechanism may be that repeated weight loss attempts may lead to reductions in metabolic rates that may render the body more efficient at storing fats, which in turn makes subsequent weight loss more difficult and regain easier. (20,21) In this connection, research shows that higher levels of body fat, especially in centrally located adipose tissue, can greatly increase the risk of morbidity and mortality associated with CHD. (22) Other supporting evidence comes from findings that indicate lower resting and exercise energy expenditure in samples of nonobese female cyclic dieters relative to nondieting controls. (23,24) However, successive decreases in resting metabolic rate were not evident in a prospective study of obese women followed over the course of 3 consecutive weight-loss and regain cycles. (10)

A second mechanism involves the suggestion that yo-yo dieting may promote the accumulation of higher levels of body fat. Such an association has been observed in weight cycling studies of rats (8,25,26) and normal-weight humans. (23,27) Also, in comparison to obese controls of stable weight, increased preferences for food with higher contents of sugar and fat have been reported in rats with a history of weight cycling (8) and in obese human weight cyclers. (28,29) There are inconsistencies in the literature, however, and it should be noted that no association has been found linking cycling to body fat in the vast majority of animal studies (30) or in samples of obese men and women. (14,31)

Yet another possible mechanism to account for the apparent deleterious health effects of repeated bouts of weight loss and regain may be that weight cycling contributes to alterations in serum glucose or lipid metabolism. (32) In this regard, Sea et al. (33) reported that weight cycling in rats resulted in significant alterations in measures of both lipid (serum cholesterol and triglyceride levels) and glucose metabolism (serum glucose, insulin, and glucagon levels). Similarly, Olson et al. (34) found that reduced levels of high-density lipoprotein cholesterol were associated with a positive history of weight cycling in a sample of 485 women at risk for CHD. There are some inconsistencies, however, given that earlier research with obese adults did not show that history of weight fluctuations (a proxy measure of weight cycling) was associated with disturbances in glucose tolerance or levels of total serum cholesterol

Objectification in fitness centers: self-objectification, body dissatisfaction, and disordered eating in aerobic instructors and aerobic participants

2007-06-18T22:54:00.001-07:00

Participation in regular physical activity has been shown to have a number of physical and psychological benefits for individuals' well-being. In particular, aerobic exercise has been shown to enhance mood, to combat mild depression and state anxiety, and to elevate self-esteem (Davis, 1990; Iannos & Tiggemann, 1997; Smolak, Murnen, & Ruble, 2000). However, these benefits have not been found in all samples. In young women, self-esteem and body satisfaction have actually been found to decrease with increasing amounts of exercise (Penas-Lledo, Sancho, & Waller, 2002; Tiggemann & Williamson, 2000). This may be because many women see exercise as a means of speeding up the weight loss process and adopt it as a primary strategy for altering body shape (Furnham, Badmin, & Sneade, 2002). Exercising for weight control, body tone, and attractiveness has in turn been associated with increased body dissatisfaction, disturbed eating, and lower body-esteem (Furnham et al., 2002; McDonald & Thompson, 1992; Silberstein, Striegel-Moore, Timko, & Rodin, 1988; Tiggemann & Williamson, 2000). In contrast, functional reasons for exercise such as health, enjoyment, or fitness have been associated with increased self-esteem and body-esteem, as well as lower levels of body dissatisfaction (Strelan, Mehaffey, & Tiggemann, 2003; Tiggemann & Williamson, 2000). Strelan et al. (2003) suggested that one plausible explanation for the observed associations between reasons for exercise, body-esteem, and disordered eating is offered by Objectification Theory (Fredrickson & Roberts, 1997).argues that being exposed to multiple forms of bodily objectification (such as sexual gaze) gradually makes women and girls come to see themselves as an "object" for others to view and evaluate on the basis of their appearance. Internalization of this observer's perspective is termed "self-objectification," and it is characterized by the habitual monitoring of one's outward appearance (Fredrickson & Roberts, 1997). Such self-objectification is related to a number of negative consequences including increased levels of appearance anxiety and body shame, decreased opportunities for peak motivational states or "flow," and a decreased awareness of internal bodily states. These negative consequences are thought to contribute to three psychological disorders experienced frequently by women: unipolar depression, sexual dysfunction, and eating disorders (Fredrickson & Roberts, 1997). There is now considerable support for the predictions of Objectification Theory as it pertains to eating disorders. Not only do self-objectification and self-surveillance predict disordered eating (Fredrickson et al., 1998; McKinley, 1998; McKinley & Hyde, 1996), but support has also been found for the mediational model whereby body shame and/or appearance anxiety mediate the relationship between self-objectification and disordered eating (Noll & Fredrickson, 1998; Tiggemann & Kuring, 2004; Tiggemann & Lynch, 2001; Tiggemann & Slater, 2001).

Although all Western women exist in an objectifying culture, not all women are equally affected by it. There are individual differences in women's experiences of self-objectification and its consequences. This is because certain situations or subcultures (viz. ones that draw attention to the body) intensify the likelihood of experiencing self-objectification (Fredrickson et al., 1998). For example, ballet dancers have been proposed as an at-risk group for self-objectification and disordered eating because of their intense focus on the body and appearance. Former ballet dancers have been found to score higher than nondancers on measures of self-objectification, self-surveillance, and disordered eating (Tiggemann & Slater, 2001).

Another environment with an increased focus on bodily appearance is fitness centers and the particular subculture of aerobics. This is the subject of the current study. The fitness center environment contains a large number of clearly objectifying features: multiple full-length mirrors, posters that idealize the female body, the opportunity for direct comparison with other women, scanty and revealingly aerobic clothing, and the presence of men observing women exercising. Thus, both aerobic instructors and participants are samples likely to score high on self-objectification. This is supported by the finding that young women who attend fitness centers self-objectify more than other general samples (Strelan et al., 2003). Strelan et al. (2003) also found that high self-objectification was associated with exercising for appearance-related reasons, whereas exercising for health/fitness was associated with lower self-objectification. The promotion by most fitness centers of bodily change through exercising for weight loss could further contribute to self-objectification. Thus, although exercise is generally related to positive effects on individuals' well-being, we hypothesized that the environment in which exercise is performed would moderate the level of self-objectification. Specifically, because of the number of objectifying cues within fitness centers, it was predicted that time spent exercising within the fitness center environment would be associated with higher levels of self-objectification than would time spent exercising outside of the fitness center environment.

Improvement in local public health preparedness and response capacity—Kansas, 2002-2003

2007-06-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

After the terrorist attacks of September 11,2001, increased funding was provided to federal, state, and local health departments to improve their capacities for terrorism preparedness and emergency response. To evaluate the effect of this funding and to identify priority program areas in Kansas, the Kansas Association of Local Health Departments (KALHD) contracted with the Kansas Health Institute (KHI) to perform an independent assessment of local health department (LHD) preparedness capacity using a CDC assessment tool. This report summarizes the results of two surveys of LHDs and changes in preparedness capacity from 2002 to 2003. The findings indicated a substantial increase in local preparedness capacity, although increases among counties varied widely. Repeated assessments of preparedness using standardized tools can provide useful information to help guide federal, state, and local public health policies and investments.
In 2002, CDC developed the Public Health Preparedness and Response Capacity Inventory (1) to provide rapid assessment of a local public health agency's capacity to respond to public health threats and emergencies. The assessment tool is organized into six sections, which correspond to six focus areas (FAs) (i.e., planning and assessment [FA A], surveillance and epidemiology [FA B], laboratory capacity [FA C], communication and information technology [FA El, risk communication and health information dissemination [FA F], and education and training [FA G]), as defined in the CDC cooperative agreement that funds many state terrorism preparedness activities. The six FAs include a total of 15 critical capacities targeted for achievement. The assessment tool was field-tested, revised, and made available for national distribution in August 2002. Its validity has been described elsewhere (2).
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The assessment tool includes 79 questions and approximately 700 subquestions. Thirty additional questions were added to target Kansas-specific preparedness capacities not fully addressed by the assessment tool (e.g., adoption of Kansas-specific disease intervention protocols or computer security standard procedures). The printed questionnaire was converted to electronic form to support data submission from LHDs via a secure, Internet-based, communication system. Answers were submitted electronically during the second half of 2002 and the second half of 2003, leaving approximately 1 year between the two assessments. LHDs representing 103 of 105 (98%) Kansas counties (i.e., one LHD per county) responded to both surveys.

Most questions in the assessment tool have a limited number of multiple-choice answers and are qualitative in nature; for example, respondents were asked to specify the extent to which a certain activity had been completed. To calculate measures of LHD capacity, the KHI project team, in consultation with representatives from LHDs, developed a method for aggregating responses from multiple questions into summary scores. Each question was assigned to one or more of the 15 critical capacities. Representatives from KALHD and KHI developed a method for converting responses to each survey question to dichotomous, "achieved" or "not achieved" classifications. These criteria were included in a computerized algorithm used to analyze all the answers from all LHDs. Through the computerized analysis, a preparedness index was calculated for each LHD for every critical capacity. FA preparedness indexes were computed by calculating the unweighted average of the critical capacities indexes included in that FA. Finally, an overall, county-level preparedness capacity index was computed as the average of the indexes for all the FAs for each LHD.

To summarize local preparedness capacity in Kansas, state averages of the critical capacities and FAs indexes were computed as the unweighted averages of the corresponding county-level indexes. State overall preparedness indexes were calculated as the average of all county overall preparedness indexes.

From 2002 to 2003, a total of 89 (86.4%) of the 103 participating counties improved their county preparedness capacity indexes (median change = 27%). The state average for the overall local preparedness capacity index increased by 27.7%, from 33.9% to 43.3%. Improvement was observed for each FA index, with the largest increase (48.3%) in FAG (education and training) and the smallest (10.4%) in FA C (laboratory capacity) (Table).

Home improvement: from sparkling highlights to flawless bikini waxing and more, here's how to get pro-perfect results at home

2007-06-07T04:12:00.000-07:00

Biggest at-home blunder Not watching the clock. The time frames on the box are there for good reason: Hair goes through color changes as it reaches its goal. "Color works the same way at home or in the salon, and if you stop too early, you can catch it midchange and the color is almost always brassy," explains Giselle, celebrity colorist at the Pierre Michel Salon in New York City.

Do it yourself well Style your hair the way you normally wear it before highlighting to make targeting the face-framing pieces easy. Highlighting kits that offer plenty of color choices include Garnier Nutrisse Nourishing Multi-Lights ($7.29) and L'Oreal Hi-Light Styliste Hi-Control Brush-On Highlights ($11; both at drugstores). If your highlights seem too bright, tone them down afterward with a dose of semipermanent color in a shade that's one notch deeper, says New York City colorist Rita Hazan. Choose one like Clairol Natural Instincts ($8; at drugstores) that has no ammonia, low peroxide, and won't damage already-colored hair. If your color looks a little orange, try L'Oreal Tone Refiner ($9; at drugstores), to neutralize brassiness. Giselle and Hazan agree: If you want allover highlights, high-tail it to the salon to ensure the perfect shade choice. But for a few fun streaks around your face, go for it on your own!

MICRODERMABRASION

Biggest at-home blunder The infamous "more is better" mentality. "Don't use the product more often than the directions specify," warns Fredric Brandt, M.D., a cosmetic dermatologist in New York City and Miami. "Overuse will strip away the skin's outermost protective barrier, and your face will look raw and irritated."

Do it yourself well "Home microdermabrasion products use the same exfoliating particles as the experts use," points out Brandt. Unlike everyday home scrubs, microdermabrasion spheres don't dissolve in water, so skin reaps their full benefits as long as you rub them around in a circular motion, for deeper exfoliation. Apply the product to damp skin, so it glides on easily, use before bed so any redness can calm down as you sleep, and to avoid stinging, save your anti-aging treatments for other nights. Roughly two to three "home sessions" are equal to one in-office visit. Generally one $15-$125 at-home kit provides about 10-12 uses (they range in price because some kits use higher-grade exfoliants than others). Leading home microdermabrasion picks: Brandt's own Microdermabrasion in a Jar ($75; sephora.com), Pond's Purely Polished Microdermabrasion Anti-aging Kit ($14; drugstore.com) and Neutrogena Advanced Solutions At Home MicroDermabrasion System ($38, drugstore.com); all have a creamy base for added softening benefits. Brandt adds: Professional microdermabrasion does penetrate skin deeper to offer longer-lasting glowing results. But considering the cost savings you reap from doing it at home, we say try a do-it-yourself treatment first; if you're not satisfied with the radiance of your skin, opt for the professional route.

MANICURE + PEDICURE

Biggest at-home blunder Most women forget to deep clean the nail, says Jan Arnold, co-founder of Creative Nail Design. This is a problem because any dust or oily residue will prevent the base coat from adhering properly. The fix: Swipe each nail with acetone-based polish remover right before applying the base coat. Try Cutex Essential Care Advanced Nail Polish Remover Pads ($3; at drugstores).

Do it yourself well Master the base coat plus the three-stroke polish application used in salons; it lays down a thin coating that's ideal for lasting results. Also, never shake your polish. Doing so creates air bubbles, which can be painted right onto your nails (a dead giveaway that you've done your nails solo). Instead, mix lacquer by rolling the bottle between your palms. Arnold's at-home advice: With the right tools and a steady hand, you can pull off a top manicure/pedicure yourself. Start with a salon manicure/pedicure, then do the next two or three polish changes at home. Tools that make it easy to maintain a groomed look: Dr. Scholl's Pedicure Essentials Skin Softening Foot Rasp ($3.82; at drugstores), a paddle-style file for use on the soles of your feet after every shower, and Sephora Professional Emery Board ($2; sephora.com) to smooth nail snags.

Life According to Stonewall Jackson; A Virginia Tech history professor has compiled the principles of personal conduct and self-improvement espoused b

2007-06-06T06:03:00.001-07:00

Many of us try to model our lives after heroes, and it is helpful if those heroes left guiding words behind. Those who favor the heroic Southern general Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson as a guiding light have been without benefit of his reflections; a shot from one of his own sentries deprived him of the chance to leave memoirs. Of course, there are numerous biographies of the gentlemanly military genius, but the words of others are not the same as his own. In a small way, this vacuum has been filled by a new book, Stonewall Jackson's Book of Maxims, edited by James I. Robertson Jr. (Cumberland House, $16.95, 160 pp).

It seems that many a growing boy in early America had one quest in mind: to make the most of the opportunities this country presented. Not only were newspapers, periodicals and books loaded with maxims and essays dedicated toward self-improvement, but the boys often composed their own.

This was true of George Washington, whose Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation was composed at age 12. Benjamin Franklin made a cottage industry of producing practical wisdom in short, quotable bursts. Novelty wasn't the goal; the thoughts expressed often trace back to biblical proverbs and, no doubt, to the dawn of contemplative thought. The idea was more that in putting those ancient thoughts into one's own words, they became one's own, and that is just what Jackson did.

Jackson appeared destined to the life of a mountaineer farmer, but he determined to master that fate. Educating himself as he went, he secured and made the best of an appointment to West Point, rising from dead last among plebes in 1842 to 17th in the ranks of 59 cadets in the class of 1846. He was a model of singleness of purpose and dedication, devoted to the cause of becoming an educated gentleman. Those who recalled his early military career remarked on his social aloofness; he was a polite loner. He was organized, methodical and sought precision in all things a born military man, it would seem.

One factor distinguishing him from the stereotypical good soldier was that, in matters of the mind, he sought his own answers rather than accepting the conclusions or opinions of others. Spiritually he was devout without being imposing, though he could lecture on religious topics if called upon to do so. In 1848, writing in a blue academic notebook, he commenced his book of maxims, which he maintained for five years.

As Robertson points out, "That he paid heed to the maxims he recorded and developed is obvious." Of a spate of self-improvement texts, from simplistic to sophisticated, available to him for inspiration and aspiration, the two most influential were the Bible and the immensely popular (and to this day worthy of attention) Lord Chesterfield's Letters to His Son. Upon Jackson's untimely death, the result of "friendly fire," his little collection of maxims disappeared. They were lost for more than 100 years. Robertson, executive director of the Virginia Center for Civil War Studies at the Virginia Polytechnic Institute in Blacksburg came across the notebook in a file at Tulane University while doing biographical research in the late 1980s. Intrigued, he decided the little book should be shared with Jackson aficionados. Each maxim in the published version is fleshed out by notes from Robertson on its influences and how Jackson lived it out.

* "Ascertain in your conversation as well as you can wherein the skill and excellence of the individual lies and put him upon his favorite subject. Every person will of his own accord fall to talking on his favorite subject or topic if you will follow and not attempt to lead him."

* "Disregard public opinion when it interferes with your duty."

* "You may be whatever you resolve to be."

There is a bit of a mystery attached to Jackson's little book. Why did he leave it behind when he went to war? The only two books he carried with him in the field were the Bible and Napoleon's Maxims of War.

Chances are the explanation is simply that a guide to the social graces was not nearly so important on the battlefield as were Napoleon's maxims. The works of the legendary French general apparently served Jackson well; he often is compared favorably to Napoleon by military historians, and some say that in certain strategies he bettered his mentor.

Napoleon's influence is easily seen. "A well-established maxim of war is not to do anything which your enemy wishes and for the single reason that he does so wish," wrote the French general. We find that Jackson, in the manner of schoolboys who wished to become educated gentlemen, put that thought into his own eloquent words. "Always mystify, mislead and surprise the enemy if possible," said Stonewall Jackson.

McGee, Micki. Self-Help, Inc.: Makeover Culture in American Life

2007-06-06T06:02:00.003-07:00

A thought-provoking and well-written account, Self-Help, Inc. offers a comprehensive analysis of the culture of the literary self-improvement movement. The author provides detailed examples and description of metaphors to show how cultural changes have influenced and continue to influence the self-help generation. McGee conveys to the reader that self-invention can be traced back to Benjamin Franklin's model of the self-made gentleman-citizen model and has evolved into a billion-dollar industry. McGee cites Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (1998), Sex and the Single Girl by Helen Gurley Brown (1982), and The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan (1963) to support her views of the self-help literature. McGee offers insight into how this type of literature specifically serves to help people cope with ever-changing social and economic conditions.McGee's scope of the self-help literature is broad. The role of women, the deconstruction of traditional American family life, the need for self-sufficiency, and the basic need for continual self-improvement are covered in great detail. Television shows such as Extreme Makeover, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and Dr. Phil are described as extensions of the self-help movement. McGee sensibly argues how television and literature are intertwined and have been used as a forum to calm one's anxiety about the social, political, and economic changes in American life. However, she points out how these forums may contribute to more instead of less social anxiety, and how the new notion of self-improvement has moved farther away from the origins of the self-help movement. Her parallel discussion of historical and current trends in the self-help movement is an undercurrent theme in the book.

Self-care and reflection: fall brings most of us back into the season's work and school routines—a good time also for a new hairstyle or a lifestyle i

2007-06-06T06:02:00.001-07:00

he number of books for African Americans that cover self-care issues always seems to be increasing. Recent offerings include an inspirational autobiography by a beauty products entrepreneur, a new book on hair, and a number of advice books for young adults, for whom little seemed to be available in the past.

The businesswoman Lisa Price is the creator and founder of Carol's Daughter, which produces and sells bath and body-care items through its store in Brooklyn, on its Web site, www.carolsdaughter.com and through body spas and salons in 14 states. She lectures on entrepreneurship at colleges and seminars. Her book, an autobiography and how-to, has recently been featured on NBC's Today show and other national television programs. The book includes recipes for body-care products and a resource guide on ingredients.

Success Never Smelled So Sweet: How I Followed My Nose and Found My Passion by Lisa Price and Hilary Beard One World/Ballantine, April 2004 $24.95. ISBN 1-400-06109-1

Lisa Price's success is more than sweet. It's life saving. The Brooklyn native who started her $2 million a year bath and body-care product company, Carol's Daughter with $100, says folks tell her that the indulgent scents of her lotions and bath salts helped them survive illness, homelessness, and hopelessness.

The autobiography written with Hilary Beard, a senior producer with NiaOnline.com, begins with Price's memory, as a five-year-old, of being spellbound by the scent and sight of a basketful of rose petals she carried during a wedding. In fact, Price loved the petals so much, she dropped only a skinny trail up the aisle; she wanted to keep the rest! The church rocked with laughter.

The New Psycho-Cybernetics: The Original Science of Self-Improvement and Success that Has Change the Lives of 30 Million People. . - Words to strive b

2007-06-02T02:20:00.000-07:00

More than 50 years ago, plastic surgeon Dr. Maxwell Maltz had a revelation after witnessing behavioral and personality changes in patients after disfiguring accidents or corrective surgery: How you see and what you believe about your self-image controls absolutely what you can and cannot accomplish. Furthermore, the habits and actions you associate with your self-image cannot be changed or overcome by conscious effort, "positive thinking," and will power. "The person who has a `fat' self-image--whose self-image claims to have a `sweet tooth,' to be unable to resist `junk food,' who cannot find the time to exercise," Maltz posits as an example, "will be unable to lose weight and keep it off no matter what he tries to do consciously in opposition to that self-image."

This sovereignty of self-image became the foundation for the publication of the best-selling Psycho-Cybernetics in 1960. Last month, a new version of Maltz's seminal self-help classic, updated by marketing consultant and Pyscho-Cybernetics Foundation CEO Dan S. Kennedy, hit the bookstores. The good news is that The New Psycho-Cybernetics: The Original Science of Self-Improvement and Success That Has Changed the Lives of 30 Million People (Prentice Hall Press, $22) still holds up after all these years.

The New Psycho-Cybernetics features strategies--including relaxation, visualization and calm, and rational thinking--to help you focus on "resetting" the "facts" about your self-image from those consistent with failure to those consistent with success. Sometimes the book feels a bit dated--this is quite literally a posthumous update of Maltz's original works--but if you are truly ready to change your life for the better, this is a great place to start.

Practicing for Artistic Success: The Musician's Guide to Self-Improvement

2007-06-02T02:18:00.000-07:00

Practicing for Artistic Success: The Musician's Guide to Self-Improvement, by Burton Kaplan. Perception Development Techniques (P.O. Box 421, Morris, NY 13808), 2004. 105 pp. $23.95.

Practicing for Artistic Success is a book every instrumental musician should read. Burton Kaplan promotes effective and productive practice habits by offering fresh, invigorating directives that will inspire you to put this book down and start practicing immediately. Under its cover are answers to such burning questions as, "Is it possible to practice too slowly?", "When is repetition appropriate?" and "How do I decide which aspect of the music to work on?" Kaplan's responses will help one avoid pitfalls like practicing with useless repetitions, mistakes and negative inner dialogue.

Kaplan has spent nineteen years conducting Practice Marathon Retreats, and many consider him the foremost authority on practice pedagogy. His views center on the musician learning to self-manage his or her practice time. Many musicians currently adhere to certain practice criteria. This may include practicing for a predetermined amount of time per day or utilizing the metronome to improve rhythm. Kaplan takes this idea many steps further. He explores such topics as when to take a break from practicing, how to appropriately divide practice time and how to accurately assess progress. He also includes his own practice strategies to improve memory, intonation and many other performance aspects. All of this leads the musician to the ultimate goal of attaining better results with less effort.

Kaplan divides the text into two main sections: the first part lists procedures the musician can follow to self-manage his or her own practicing, while the second section addresses practice techniques to improve various features of the musician's performance. Kaplan covers a tremendous amount of material in a mere 105 pages, making this a manual you will refer to time and time again.

This sophisticated book is appropriate for professional musicians, teachers and advanced students. The well-organized table of contents supports easy access to text concerning a specific practice problem. In addition, Kaplan guides readers throughout the book to other sections helpful for the problem at hand. Be warned though; this book should not be considered a "quick-fix" for any and all practice problems. If you are to take great strides in improving practice habits, establishing the changes Kaplan suggests may take weeks or even months. This is an invaluable book for musicians ready to dramatically improve their practicing. Reviewed by Amanda Montgomery, Orangeburg, South Carolina.

How to Identify and Overcome Addictions

2007-05-12T06:06:00.001-07:00

When we are addicted to someone or something, it means we behave like a slave because we allow the person or strong habit to control us. It is what we do in excess in order to avoid our painful feelings (hurt, anger, fear, loneliness, emptiness, etc.). Therefore, addictions are often the symptoms and not the causes of our troubles. They make us feel better for a short period of time but then we soon need another "fix", because we still have the pain from the underlying negative feelings.

Ironically, our addictions cause us even more problems and result in additional pain. For example, an alcoholic often loses his or her job, has unsuccessful relationships, and suffers from physical problems brought on by the alcohol. The workaholic finds their loved ones complaining that they are never around. They may make more money but probably spend more for medical problems because of their self-induced stress.

The first helpful thing to do to overcome your addictions is to be honest with yourself and recognize your extreme behaviors. The following questionnaire will help you to identify your unhealthy habits.

Put a check next to the description of your behavior.

A. I eat or drink in excess:

______1. Food

______2. Alcohol

______3. Coffee

______4. Carbonated beverages

______5. Chocolate

______6. Ice cream

______7. Candy

______8. Pastry

______9. Bread

______10. Other _____

B. I feel a compulsion (not in control of myself) to do a lot of:

______1. Work

______ 2. Running/Sports

______3. Shopping

______4. Yelling

______5. Creating

______ 6. Smoking

______ 7. Gambling

______ 8. Drugs

______ 9. Cleaning/organizing

______ 10. Other ___________

C. I feel no matter how much I have, I always want more:

______1. Money

______ 2. Sex

______ 3. Affection

______ 4. Cars

______ 5. Clothes

______ 6. Material things

______7. Attention

______ 8. Machines/Tools (including computers)

______ 9. Power

______ 10. Other _____

D. I spend a lot of time:

______1. Playing

______2. Reading

______3. Writing

______4. Watching television/movies

______5. Collecting things

______6. At the computer

______7. Complaining

______8. Fixing things

______9. Joking

______10. Other _____

To further understand yourself, fill in the following statements:

E. When I am upset I:

1. ______________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________

F. I have a habit of:

1. ______________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________

G. I am addicted to:

1. ______________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________

H. I wish that I could stop (a behavior):

1. ______________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________

Positive Behavior

Now that you understand your avoidance habits, write a check next to the following things that appeal to you to help you overcome your addictions.

When I am aware of my habit controlling me, I can do the following:

______1. Take at least ten slow, deep breaths (count to six on the inhale and exhale).

______2. Ask myself, "What negative thought am I thinking?" Then imagine that I am burning it away and replacing it with a positive thought.

______3. Listen to a self-help tape.

______4. Read a self-help book.

______5. Drink water with or without lemon.

______6. Eat a low calorie vegetable.

______7. Take a walk.

______8. Call someone I trust and share my feelings with them.

______9. Take a class to raise my self-esteem.

Congratulate yourself for being willing to identify and overcome your addictions, choose healthier habits, and take control of your life.

"Survivor To Thriver" - Healing The Impact Of Childhood Abuse

2007-05-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

Healing the impact of childhood abuse is a difficult yet hopeful process. If you were physically or sexually abused as a child, you may often feel fragmented, confused, vulnerable, and somewhat chaotic inside. You may have difficulty with trust and intimacy in your relationships, and your emotions may seem unpredictable and volatile to you. You may also have a generalized feeling that you are somehow “bad” or unworthy, and therefore, not like yourself very much. You may also feel guilty, as though you caused the abuse. All of these experiences are common and make sense in light of your childhood experience. There IS hope! An integrated and intentional approach in therapy can lead to healing in these areas of your life. This healing involves reconnecting with parts of yourself that seem disconnected and alienated, reclaiming your life by learning to be in charge of your behavior and make good choices, and transforming your relationship to self and others. It may be helpful to think of the healing process as taking place in three primary stages: 1) getting started; 2) reconnecting with yourself; and 3) moving on.

Getting Started is primarily focused on helping you understand what you are experiencing, what you can expect from therapy, and how you can help yourself through the process. In this stage, understanding is empowerment. During this time you learn new ways of thinking about the abuse and its effects. You develop skills and strategies for handling flashbacks, emotional intensity and boundary issues. Perhaps most importantly, you develop emotional self-care skills that will enable you to nurture, comfort, and calm yourself as you move through your healing journey. These skills can help you feel safer with the emotions that may seem overwhelming now.

Reconnecting With Yourself is the heart of the healing process, and takes commitment, courage, and a desire for wholeness. During this time you learn to identify the ways you have protected yourself that are no longer helpful to you. As you gradually replace these defenses with healthier coping skills you are freer to be in touch with what is inside you. You learn to experience a broader range of feelings, accurately name them, and make choices about expressing them. During this time your relationship with your body is also very significant. The way the abuse has affected your feelings about your body, and your body’s need for healing are part of the healing process. At this point Trauma Touch Therapy (TM) can be integrated into your journey and provide another avenue for healing. Your relationship with yourself changes as you are able to have compassion for yourself, grieve your losses, and honor the truth of your experience. The fragmentation you developed as a way of staying safe becomes less necessary and you can begin developing a more cohesive sense of yourself as an adult. While this is a difficult time in the process, it is also one that is full of meaning, transformation and hope.

Moving On occurs as you are increasingly able to integrate your new awareness and experience of yourself on every level. How you think about yourself and the abuse is changing. Now you are open to new ways of viewing the world, others and yourself. Your new skills and ability to manage your feelings and maintain healthy boundaries bring with it the possibility for meaningful relationships. Perhaps most importantly, you may become less likely to identify yourself in terms of the abuse, as you move from being a survivor to being a thriver. You may experience increasing levels of energy to give to those things in the “here and now” that are important to you, as less of your energy is given to protecting yourself from the impact of the abuse.

Tame Your To Do List Now

2007-05-12T05:59:00.000-07:00

Reduce stress in your life and get more done by keeping all of your to do organized in one central list system

Who doesn't have too much to do these days? None of us, I suspect. But, when you really look into why everyone feels they have too much to do, it isn't just that they have too many things to do, its that they feel overwhelmed by it all. They aren't sure if they're remembering the urgent and important things to do, and they feel their pile of things to do is in control of them, instead of the other way around.

Taking Control of Your Things To Do

It's not that hard to turn the situation around and seize control of your to do list and make it subservient to you. You just have to keep a well-organized system of lists, write everything down on them, review them periodically, prioritize them realistically, and then reward yourself by checking items off when they're done.

What do I mean by a well-organized system of lists? Simply just separate lists for each logical area in your life. For me it's work, home maintenance, health & exercise, travel planning. You get the idea - you will have your own categories. Keep a separate list for each category.

It's essential that you write everything down on your lists. By doing this you get these lurking items out of your head and onto the list - where it belongs. Don't worry if you're making your list long. The purpose of the list isn't to say you'll definitely get the item done - the purpose is to capture the items as a potential to do - the editing of the list will come alter.

Review your lists regularly - some people do it first thing every morning, others every weekend, so they can plan the following week.

Realistic prioritizing of your list is essential. This is the 'editing phase'. Instead of trying to decide whether to put something on the list, as I mentioned earlier, you should just add everything to the list. Then, periodically come back and pass through the list, reviewing it for prioritization. You can move items up higher and down lower in priority. It's natural for priorities to ebb and flow.

What Technology to Use

Foremost in your mind might be which high-tech gadget or software you should use for your lists. First of all, I want to stress that a paper-based system has a lot to go for it - it's easy, it's portable and it doesn't crash! However, you will find yourself having to rewrite your lists.

High tech solutions fall into three major categories: hand held organizers, software you can run on your pc, and web-based software. Hand-held organizers can be carried with you, but sometimes their screens and keyboards can be hard to use and the software isn't always the easiest. PC-based software offers a lot of power but is only available when you are at your PC or laptop. Web-based software is the future of all software, because when software is available on the web, you can access it from any Internet-connected PC or laptop in the world - namely from your work PC, your home PC, etc. Also, web-based software is easy - you don't have install or upgrade the software. Some web solutions also allow you to share your to do lists across the web with others on a password-protected basis.

Fine Tuning Intimate Relationships

2007-05-12T05:57:00.000-07:00

Intimate relationships offer great potential for connection, personal growth and healing. Yet many people find that although successful in their careers and are able to maintain close friendships, they struggle in intimate relationships. Often these relationships aren’t working because the same destructive patterns continue to be repeated, either with the same partner or in successive relationships. This can be due to a poorly developed “radar,” or lacking the ability to choose a person who is emotionally available and able to commit. In marriages, relationship problems are often caused by unhealthy ways of interacting, often established after the commitment has been made. Draining cycles of conflict and miscommunication often leave partners feeling hurt and misunderstood.

Destructive ways of interacting are frequently due to internal blind spots caused by past wounds. Blind spots often manifest as unconscious projections or false perceptions about what is happening in the relationship. Projections can be both and negative. A positive projection might be making a false assumption that the other person has the ability to make us whole by filling a void that we have been unable to fill on our own. A negative projection would be anticipating that the person that we are involved with will betray or abandon us as others have done in the past. If partners become aware of their projections, they can gain both a deeper and accurate understanding of their internal processes and improve the way they relate to each other. By becoming more aware of destructive patterns, old wounds can be healed and closer connections can be made. This can help develop trust and establish a foundation that can be nurtured over time.

Dreams - A Therapeutic Method Of Healing And Creativity

2007-05-12T05:56:00.001-07:00

Dreams may be explored on many levels, usually with more than one interpretation or meaning. The interplay of symbols within dream images are often metaphors reflecting the dynamic that exists between the various aspects of our psyche. Dream narratives can also provide us with a unique perspective on the dynamics of our interpersonal relationships that we may not have considered, and show us where we have become stuck or one-sided. Dreams can be foretelling, giving us information about future events that have yet to occur. Sometimes dreams show us parts of ourselves that we have attempted to hide that we must learn to understand and integrate for us to become whole.

In psychotherapy, an opening dream which occurs in the beginning stage of treatment can be used as a map that outlines the course of our healing process. Working with dreams can offer an opportunity to heal deep wounds that have been carried for years as they provide a means to work through past traumas. Sometimes we will have the same dream repeatedly about an ongoing dilemma in our life that we have ignored and have yet to understand. Frequently these dreams will not disappear until we look at the underlying issue being presented and move toward resolving it. Staying open and receptive to the content of our dreams can engage us in a process that allows us to heal if we are willing.

For many of us dreams are an essential way for us to connect to our spirituality and discover our personal myths or life-meaning. The feelings we experience associated with our dream symbols illuminate and help us to identify inner sources of strengths that we may have become cut off from and didn’t know existed. For many artists, dreams can be a vision of future work they have yet to create before they have begun the outward expression of their idea in the physical world.

Mental Matrix Of Reality - World Is Simulation

2007-05-12T05:55:00.001-07:00

Some people think that the physical universe is different from the mental planes of reality. But the physical universe is really not as physical as it seems. In fact, it is just another layer of the mental universe. Time and space does not exist in the physical universe only, it also does exist on the other planes of reality. Except it is experienced differently on those planes.

The entire universe is a hologram. The world is simply a simulation, like a computer program. All levels of reality are part of that same program. Everything physical is only a concept in the mind of God. As he imagines it to be, we experience it to be. Reality is a mental construct. The rules of physics are just there to “govern” how the physical universe operates. The universal mind which governs the laws of the physical universe only allows it them to be superceded when it permits.

We are living in the matrix. This is not a computer generated but a mind generated world. It is generated by the universal mind which is partly the mind of God and partly the collective consciousness of the people alive.

Do our five senses really operate as energy receptors carry energy in the form of electrical impulses along nerves to the brain in order to be processed by the mind as information? Are we really not able to see the world around us when the electrical impulses are cut off? Does our life support system really operate as blood carrying oxygen from the air that we breathe to our body cells in order to nourish and repair them? Are we really not able to process energy without the means of our blood?

While looking at your feet, stomp on the ground. You will notice that your visual perception of your foot hitting the floor matches your sensation of touching it. This would be fine except for one thing: the speed of light is vastly faster than the conduction times and synaptic delays through the long nerves and spinal cord from your feet. As a result, you should be seeing the event before you feel it and the delay should be noticeable.

Scientist can study how the physical system operates in order to work with it. We have to follow the rules of a system when we are in it, in order to function in it. But the physical system is only a simulation to provide logic and order to how reality operates on the physical level. The simulation is only a mask over how true reality operates. We do not actually see with electrical impulses being sent from our eyes to our brains through the channel of nerves. We sense energy directly with our mind. We do not actually live with oxygen flooding our cells through the use of blood. We absorb energy directly from the universal field of energy. We perceive everything as energy directly with consciousness.

When we think, we think as conscious mind. When a thought becomes substantiated, it substantiates in the subconscious mind. But what is man’s subconscious mind? It is his mental field or frequency in Universal Subjectivity. There is no such thing as your subjective mind and my subjective mind, meaning two, for this would be duality. All mind is One Mind. But there is such a thing as the subconscious state of your thought and of my thought in Mind.

When we think, we think through a Universal Creative Medium, a receptive and plastic substance which surrounds us on all sides, which permeates us and flows through us. When we think, we think through and into the One Common Mind producing points of mental activity within it. We exist as the universal mind differentiated into individual minds. We think as universal conscious mind through the Universal Subconscious medium. As each person thinks, he is building around himself a mental atmosphere. Nothing can enter unless he allows it to, through the avenues of his own thought whether conscious or unconscious.

There is no other place that we could think, since Mind is Omnipresent. There is no out there. Everything exist as projections in the external world from within ourselves. Even the experience of internal to external projection itself is an experience in our Mind. It is a projection of consciousness within consciousness. There really is no external or internal for everything is at one place where Mind is. Mind is everywhere yet nowhere. Mind is nowhere but Here, Now. Everything is created by consciousness and nothing is outside of consciousness.

Our heart is our subconscious mind. The Universal Field of Subjectivity is the key to understanding what it means when we say someone is always with us because that person is in our heart. We might see, hear and touch the person, but that is just a means of experiencing each other through physical form. Of course Spirit must manifest into form in order to express itself. But once we experienced each other physically, we know that we are always connected to each other no matter where we are. There is no separation. The person exist in Universal Subconscious which is in our heart. That person is in us literally.

Metaphysics of Time, Space and Things.

Time simply measures change. Beyond that simple function, time is nonexistent. There is really only the “now”. “Time is a sequence of events in a Unitary Whole.” Time is not a thing of itself, it is simply a measure of experience in eternity. Time does not contradict Eternity, but allows It to become expressed in terms of definite experience. Time is necessary since it allows experience to take place within the One, but time is never a thing of itself. It is really impossible to measure time. For yesterday is gone and tomorrow has not come, and today is rapidly slipping into the past. If we were to attempt to put a finger on any period of time it would be gone before we could point to it. But, illusive as time is, it is still necessary to experience.

Space, like time, is not a thing of itself, but is only the outline of form. It is a relative distance within the Absolute. Space is also necessary to the expression of Spirit, for without it no definite form could be produced. We must not be confused over the ideas of time and space, as they are not things of themselves. They are entirely relative, but none the less necessary.

Things are mean forms in time and space. Things are always results and never make themselves; they are the objectifications of Spirit. Things are necessary to the manifestation of Spirit. They are the result of the Self-Knowingness of the Word of God. Things vary in size and shape, in time and duration, from the planet to the peanut, from a moment to an eternity. It is necessary that Spirit should manifest in SOME KIND OF FORM in order that It may come into Self-Expression through Self-Realization. The world is waking up to the fact that things are not at all what they appear to be, that matter and form are but the one substance appearing and disappearing, and that form is simply used to express something which is formless, self-conscious life.

Form in the astral world is not as definite as form in the physical world. But the physical world is not as definite as it seems because it is governed by true reality, and true reality is highly fluid. Physical reality and mental reality and different levels of the same program, running with a different set of parameters. The difference between the physical world and the astral world is that of time. Change happens slower on the physical plane because energy moves at a slower rate on their plane but on the astral plane, things can happen very quickly.

There is only one place that is far more definite than physical reality. It is a place where you really can’t change the conditions in it with your mind. It’s vibrations are the lower and denser than Earth. That place is Hell. Beings that exist there will forever be tormented with fire in anguish, pain and misery. It is where things are truly hopeless and there is nothing you can do about it. Hell is the condition of having no alternatives. Both heaven and hell are real places, but while on Earth, your experience can either be a heaven or hell depending on whether you live in higher consciousness where anything is possible and change can happen fast, or hell consciousness where things are hopeless and impossible.

The physical plane is where the challenge is. It is a loss to give up living in the physical world and to enter the astral world just because one is in despair of the difficulties in manifesting desires on that plane. It is precisely for that reason that we are truly able to develop and test our powers of mind in order to fulfill our realization as spirit beings. The purpose of physicality is to lock different beings into common dimensional arenas of interaction, so they can evolve via that interaction. Gaining the ability to be in control of reality at the physical level is gaining the ability to be in control of our own minds to the fullest degree. Ruling and reigning over reality is expressing who we are as sons and daughters of God, created in the true spiritual image of God.

Pain is Inevitable - Suffering is Optional

2007-05-12T05:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the warmest day of the year so far, with temperatures in the 80s by midafternoon. I finally tore myself away from the computer and headed out for a walk. It's still extremely lush and green here, with wildflowers including lupines, buttercups and Douglas Iris blooming in gratuitous profusion. A steady breeze kept the temperature from becoming unbearable, with the added benefit of wafting all the smells of a flower scented heaven into my nostrils.

About half way through my walk, the breeze also blew some pollen into my eyes. As a contact lens wearer, pollen and other irritants are a regular part of the "isness" that I deal with on a daily basis, especially in spring. Knowing this, I had even brought a bottle of special drops for my eyes in case my contacts started to bother me. I knelt down at the edge of a grassy field next to some young cedars, but carefully placed my hat upside down and proceeded to pop my contact out. To my surprise, the breeze grabbed my contact and tossed it into the grass. Now, this grass was between six and 12 inches deep, and my immediate reaction was something quite a bit stronger than "darn."

There I was on my knees, one contact lost in the grass, trying to locate a tiny, nearly transparent circle of blue plastic less than a half inch in diameter. The bright sun shone like gold on the grass and the breeze waved the green shoots around in a friendly frenzy. With my contact gone, I had to get down within 6 inches of the ground in order to see anything clearly. I was right on the edge of getting really upset with myself, as this is a new contact and would cost $50 to replace. If you really knew me, you'd know that I spent most of my life with a severe inner critic, and I could feel it wanting to pounce on my apparent screw up. I chose not to engage, and quietly celebrated remembering that I had a choice in the matter.

Invoking my spiritual practice of staying fully present in the moment, I took a couple of deep breaths and begin to notice the astonishing beauty spread out before me. Miniscule flowers the size of an ant's head grew underneath the tall grasses, miniature pink blooms serving as exclamation points for this lilliputian world. For a moment, I forgot all about my contact and just marveled at the intoxicating beauty of this tiny little patch of ground.

As my breathing slowed, and I became increasingly aware of every blade of grass, every grain of sand and earth, each ant and insect busily crawling around in their world, and realized what a gift losing my contact had been. I had been so focused on my walk, on the trees and the astonishing view, that I had been paying no attention at all to the amazing spectacle at my feet.

After a couple of minutes simply enjoying this extraordinary little world, I noticed the glint of my contact and picked it up. I congratulated myself on my patience in my ability to see the gift of losing my contact. I gently set the contact down on the brim of my hat, which was still turned upside down in the grass. I took out my water bottle and my drops so that I could clean my contact and place it back in my eye. However, the wind had other plans. As I reached to pick up the contact, the breeze effortlessly picked up that petite piece of plastic and flipped it back in the grass. I couldn't believe it.

Obviously, I had not become sufficiently present the first time I went through this process, so I had the opportunity to do so again … quiet my breathing, focus on the beauty in front of me, choose not to make myself wrong, and simply be available for the contact to show itself again. After a few more minutes of kneeling in the beauty of the day, bowing to the sacred all around me, sure enough, the contact "showed up." This time I didn't let go of it, and within moments it was safely back in my eye. As I stood up and prepared to head home, I spent another moment in quiet reflection, honoring my experience and grateful that I had chosen to accept the moment as it was without creating any suffering for myself.

If that had been the end of the story, I would have felt it worth the telling, but opportunities for me to keep choosing not to suffer continued showing up. My contact continued bothering me all the way back, about a 45 minute walk. I did not attempt to take it out and clean it again; rather, I simply stayed present, noticing that in each moment. I could choose to turn the pain into suffering … or not. My eye kept tearing, and it was difficult to keep it open through the pain. And yet, the beauty of the day called insistently through the hum of innumerable bees collecting nectar from the veritable explosion of blooms. In particular, the hillsides along the road were carpeted with flowers, particularly vetch, a low green vine bursting with millions of small purple blossoms. Whole sections of hillside were blanketed in this glorious profusion, this spring riot of life. I was amazed. Sometimes my eye would clear up for a few minutes, and I was grateful. Then the pain would return, and I felt grateful that I was not creating suffering for myself in addition to feeling the pain.

I was so touched by this experience that I felt compelled to write it down as a teaching opportunity. Pain and suffering are not one word. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. It is a core component of my teaching, as it is of many who use the path of inquiry to discern our true nature. Remember, in each moment we have a choice. We can welcome the pain that inevitably comes with the gift of life as an opportunity to become fully present in the moment. Suffering is simply not necessary. I am grateful to life for every chance I have to explore this perspective, and to share what I learn with you.

Steve Ryals, author of Drunk with Wonder: Awakening to the God Within went from homeless and shooting drugs in San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury district at 17 to graduating from UC Berkeley on the Dean’s List six years later.

Self Learning On Italian

2007-05-12T05:52:00.000-07:00

Learning Italian at home, listening to audio lessons on the way to the office using the CD player in the car or reading a book all about Italian are different examples of how one person can learn another language without getting formal lessons from any teacher or language professor.

If you are an interested learner, disregard your age or status in life; if you want to learn something out of pure interest and curiosity, you will reap your own rewards in the end. Also, it doesn’t matter if you have the most expensive language learning software or if you just read on available online resources and old books from the library, the important thing is that you keep on learning no matter what it takes.

The Italian language has a different accent compared to the English language, the Italian accent needed to be followed is also different, but the easy fact about the Italian language is the way each word is pronounce because it only follows the syllables and the way how each word is spelled. What else can help your progress in learning? To apply what you learn and what you are learning in the process in the most natural way possible is the answer.

Don’t expect to speak in perfect grammar. That is just too impossible. What you need to concentrate on instead is how much vocabulary you know about the language. You will for sure, commit mistakes and several attempts to talk to a native Italian speaker perfectly is going to be a failure, but that’s okay. You are a student and you’re meant to commit mistakes. No big deal.

The big event will come when you have been studying much about the Italian language and its culture. Exposing yourself to Italian movies, shows, music and history will be a great help to your fluency of the Italian language. You’ll learn the accent, you’ll acquire the most natural conversation, and most importantly, you’ll learn how it really feels to talk in fluent Italian. But until then, you will need to work hard on many aspects and not giving up is another.

Law of Attraction-Make It A Habit

2007-05-12T05:48:00.001-07:00

The Law of Attraction principles are based on metaphysics and have been spoken of by the greatest thinkers, writers and leaders throughout time—Plato, Aristotle, Albert Einstein, Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., Dale Carnegie, The Power of Positive Thinking, Carl Jung; “What you resist persists.” Buddha, “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.”

“The first philosophy (Metaphysics) is universal and is exclusively concerned with primary substance. ... And here we will have the science to study that which is just as that which is, both in its essence and in the properties which, just as a thing that is, it has. ....That among entities there must be some cause which moves and combines things. ... There must then be a principle of such a kind that its substance is activity.” (Aristotle, Metaphysics 340BC)

Metaphysics is the branch of philosophy that examines the nature of reality, including the relationship between mind and matter, substance and attribute, fact and value. Mind and matter are comprised of energy—energy has impact. Thus, thoughts are things—thoughts create something. The something that is created is dependent on what the thoughts are. Like attracts like—thus, if you think positive thoughts, you attract positive things. If you think negative thoughts you attract negative things. The question, “What were you thinking?,” has a greater significance than a mere expression of incredulity. “What were you thinking?,” can be the beginning to make better choices now or in the future. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he,” Proverbs 23:7; “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right,” Henry Ford.

The Law of Attraction is quite simple--anything you want to manifest is possible. It is through consistency, persistency, focus and understanding of your desire and connection to this thing that makes manifest that which you want to attract.

As you have probably noted, every person, who has ever achieved anything significant in their lives has done so through consistency, persistency and focus. Thomas Edison holds a world record of 1093 patents for inventions such as the light bulb and phonograph. Edison died October 1931, astonishingly no one has surpassed his patent record. Thomas Edison was asked if he was discouraged because he had 100 failures in his quest to invent the light bulb. “Discouraged! Edison exclaimed, I am closer to inventing the light bulb, I already know 100 ways how not to invent a light bulb, the next idea may be the one that works.” Would Edison have invented the light bulb without his habit of consistency, persistency and focus? Maybe, but it undoubtedly would have taken longer.

• Consistency is created when you form positive good habits that support your desire.
• Persistency is created when you forge ahead in spite of any set-backs, interferences or perceived failures—like Edison.
• Focus is created when you combine positive thoughts and feelings (known as the Law of Attraction) with your actions and desires until you attract that thing into your life.
• You cannot manifest a desire by just focusing on it and NOT taking action.
• You cannot get exactly what you desire by just taking blind action.

Have you ever taken consistent action towards a goal and found yourself in a different place than you planned to be?

How can that be? It is a failure to have consistent focus; failure to use your thoughts and feelings to guide your actions to the end goal. You probably had plenty of action—long hours, hard work—but you still did not achieve your goal.

The Habit of Attraction is the practice of combining habit creation (a consistent and persistent set of actions towards a goal or desire) and the Law of Attraction (giving your attention, energy, and focus to your desire) to manifest anything you want. When you create a "habit plan" and allow the principles of the Law of Attraction to guide your way, it makes it nearly impossible to not get exactly what you want.

The Habit of Attraction can be applied to any desire:

• Money and Abundance
• New job
• New car, boat, airplane
• New house
• Clothes
• Promotion
• Vacation
• Finding Love and Better Relationships
• Better Health
• Your Life Purpose
• Making a difference in the world
• and anything else you desire

After 60 years of manifesting my desires, I am delighted to share this proven Law of Attraction with you. If you are skeptical, start with something small—then work on something big. I manifest everything every day—including this article—by using the habit of attraction.

Can You Change?

2007-05-12T05:47:00.001-07:00

In all our lives, irrespective of financial status, education etc , the winds of circumstances blows over each of us in a way that touches each and every one of our lives.

We have all experienced the blowing winds of disappointment, frustration, despair and heartbreak. Why then do each of us in a our own individual “ship of life”, all beginning at the same point, arrive at such different places (and sometimes in very windswept condition!) at the end of our journey?

What guides each of us to different destinations is the way we have chosen to set our sail.

We all suffer the same setbacks/obstacles. We all have disappointments, challenges and traumas in our life. We all have reversals of fortune and moments when despite how hard we try, or what we do, everything seems to constantly fall apart. Lets not forget that these life events are not reserved for only the poor or uneducated. We ALL have the same challenges that can lead to financial and personal despair.

However, it seems that in the final analysis it is not the event itself that determines the quality of our life, but what we choose to do when we have struggles for ages to set our sail, only to then discover the direction of the wind has changed.

It is this that separates the men from the boys, the sailors from those just going for a Sunday afternoon paddle!

When the winds change, you must change. We must struggle back to our feet once more and re-set the sail to the destination we want. The set of the sail i.e how we think, how we react to situations and our attitude (the most important) has a far greater capacity to destroy our lives than the actual challenge itself. How quickly we respond and bounce back from the negative circumstances becomes far more important than the circumstances itself.

Learning to re-set our sail with the changing winds howling around us, rather than allowing ourself to be blown in any direction we have no control over, involves discipline and a whole new mind-set.

It involves establishing your own personal strategies that will influence you in a positive and inspiring way and which will impinge on all that we think and do.

If we can succeed in putting these strategies to work, it will greatly affect every facet of our lives; our relationships, income, lifestyle etc etc and how we perceive the challenges in life. We will also learn the greatest challenge of all-to control the process of our thinking. This is what will have the greatest effect on our survival whilst being buffeted around in a gale-force 9 storm, and whether we survive the storm or whether we give up and allow the storm to break us.

Grief-the Hardest Emotion to Overcome

2007-05-12T05:46:00.002-07:00

There's nothing nice about grief. It's an emotion we feel at least once in our life. Sometimes it almost seems like we're paralyzed from it. It's hard to carry on and go about our regular life. It can cause health problems, cut down on productivity, and make a person lose their joy of life. Sometimes grief can make you aware of who your true friends are. Those people who will help you overcome your feeling of helplessness. It always takes some time to initially recover but usually it takes a long time to feel like you'll make it.

It all depends who you were grieving for, how close you were in the relationship and who's left when someone passes. If it's someone very close to you it's going to take a longer time than an acquaintance. That empty feeling doesn't go away if that's the only person in your life that you can really count on.

My mother passed recently and it's very hard to get by. I have a wonderful husband who helps get me through each day. I have problems at night missing her and sometimes I wake up and I cry for her. Her and I were very close. My dad passed when I was going through a divorce and I moved in with my mom. We helped each other get over our grief. Yes, when you divorce you experience grief. Unless you really are glad they're gone. But even then you feel a separation that makes you grieve. You lost someone dear in your life and might never have that longing feeling again.

Getting over grief is hard to do. See a counselor, go for walks, keep busy with friends, start a hobby, join a club or group. Hopefully, you'll have someone in your life to talk it over. You should be grateful for the people left in your life and enjoy being around them. That'll help you get through. Grief will still be there at times when you hear that person's song on the radio, pass by their place of residence, see their picture and think of them, and go to a familiar place where you both have been.

A Note from the Fringe Element

2007-05-12T05:46:00.001-07:00

As a writer it is very curious to see how many people have apparently forgotten the power of the word. Our language is composed of words that illuminate our spirits, minds and bodies and yet with a five star menu of thousands of words to describe our human experience, we settle with fast food copy writing.

Is it our exposure to one another that has diminished our memory of times when a letter was as treasured as a kiss from a distant friend, spouse or member of our family? Have we forgotten how the words of our favorite song could make us feel?

I only ask because of our humanity; so much of it is within our literature and music, those words that inspire and enlighten us, or can make us weep and mourn. As a musician I hear the rhythm of these words and respect their power; they transform us. Has a song ever made you change your perspective?

And for those of us who declare we are for harmony in the world, perhaps we could all place a tad more emphasis on application of the principles that go along with the words through whatever means you use to earn your livelihood could energize our lives and increase the harmony.

Standing for a principle is more difficult than to fall for anything, but from what I have experienced to date, life is a lot more interesting when you standing tall than lying low. As you would say in one of our American dialects; "a lot of us are living on the down low". It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

As an artist I definitely see our humanity moving toward this realization and accepting the fact that there is a purpose for every part of our experience; even that part that we do not like. How else would we be able to know what we really like? Everybody doing the same thing is really not as interesting.

We human beings are a multi-faceted group, for each one of us an exact opposite personality is somewhere in the world, living their life as normal, just like you or I. And then too, we all have a "twin"- that person that we are told "you look just like..." makes one wonder if their personality is like yours as well: at least I consider this.

All of us have to eat, sleep, contribute and procreate in our own manner, space and time; where ever on the planet we find ourselves. There is such a wealth of ways to live our common human experience, this animated living, breathing body that transports our minds and spirits, can learn a new idea every day. Why exist when you can discover?

With all due respect to the Energy that keeps my heart working while I am having my sweet dreams, I know that whatever you call the Power of Creation, I am connected to you by our humanity and one love. Let this be said and let it be done.

Dancing Soothes and Heals

2007-05-12T05:33:00.000-07:00

You have no doubt noticed children love to dance to music—they move their body with the music openly and freely in whatever way feels best.

Few people have retained or regained the ability to engage in dancing un-self-consciously. Many adults have stopped dancing altogether. You might have hang-ups about your body, or you may fear being judged that your body movement is not artistic enough or have the correct rhythm. You may have simply gotten out of the habit of dancing and then think you are too out of practice or too old to dance.

Whatever the case, you can put aside those false fears or excuses and rediscover the healing/soothing pleasure of moving your body to music-alone, or as part of a couple, or in a group. Opportunities to dance formal or informal abound wherever there are people.

The origin of dance may be as long as the history of humans. We can only guess what dances looked like in earlier epochs.

An early manuscript describing dance is the Natya Shastra on which the modern interpretation classical Indian dance (e.g. Bharathanatyam) is based.

The ancient chronicle of the Sinhalese (Sri Lankans), the Mahavamsa states when King Vijaya landed in Sri Lanka in 543 BCE he heard sounds of music and dancing from a wedding ceremony. Origins of The Dances of Sri Lanka are dated back to the aborginal tribes. The Classical dances of Sri Lanka, Kandyan Dances features a highly developed system of tala (rhythm), provided by cymbals called thalampataa.

In Europe one of the earliest records of dancing is by Homer, whose "Iliad"; describes chorea (khoreia).

The early Greeks made the art of dancing into a system, expressive of all the different passions. For example, the dance of the Furies, so represented, would create complete terror among those who witnessed them. The Greek philosopher, Aristotle, ranked dancing with poetry, and said that certain dancers, with rhythm applied to gesture, could express manners, passions, and actions. Greek sculptors studied the attitude of the dancers for their art of imitating the passions.

Rock-shelter drawings in India reveal the earliest examples of dance. Todo, forms of monkeys at Gupteshvara and a number of human figures at Pahadgarh, Tikla and Abachand present evidence of dance being prevalent in those days. These drawings belong to the period from 5000 to 2000 B. C. As revealed by the stone statuette of a male dancer from Harappa and the bronze figurine of a dancing girl from Mohenjodaro, the Indus Valley civilization had a well-evolved dance culture.

Ballet dancing started in the 16th century. and its became so big that royalty were getting dance masters to teach them ballet.

If you think you have lost the knack for dancing and feel too self-conscious to start in public, reintroduce yourself to the joy of listening and responding to music in the comfort of your home. Set the mood by turning the lights down. Remember it is more fun when you are not thinking about what you look like. You will be surprised how quickly your body moves easily to the music’s rhythm. Feel the music in your mind, body and spirit—feel the vibrations healing/soothing your body. Give this experience the attention and importance of meditation in which you agree to allow yourself to fully inhabit your amazing body.

If you think you are awkward, that is what you will create. If you think you are a graceful swan gliding and moving with the music, that is what you will create. Everyone carries the memory of dance in their cells.

If you prefer to take your dance moves to another level, take a class. There are dance studios in every city—in small towns the classes might be taught at the high school. In most cities, you will find every kind of dance from modern to African, ballroom and salsa. Whichever you choose, you will not regret choosing to rediscover your body’s natural birthright—the healing, soothing joyful thrill of dancing.

Law of Attraction - Feelings Are Important Indicators of Your Thoughts

2007-05-12T05:31:00.000-07:00

I have often been asked, "How do we really know we are thinking the right thoughts?" Whatever makes you happy should logically be good thoughts. Feelings are unfailing in their predictions. Feelings are critical to the thought process. It is instinctive and pure .Feelings are created at a primordial level, they don't consider the implications and results. They are here and now. This feeling of unalloyed joy and pleasure will lead you to the future. Are you happy thinking these thoughts? If yes, you can rest assured that you are on the right path.

Thoughts are carried into the universe at a certain frequency. It is the feelings which indicate which frequency you are on. Are your thoughts resonating at the right frequency? Are your thoughts aligned with the universe? Your feelings will tell you the truth.

Sometimes your thoughts will not be aligned with that of the universe. At these times you will get an instant feedback in the form of feelings. It is time you changed the frequency and realign your thoughts. The dial of your mind should fine tune itself with the resonating frequency. You will automatically hear the grand music of the universe. Normally one should not find it difficult to find the right frequency. Remember, our thoughts are instinctive and guided by our feelings. But sometimes we have to force our mind to change frequency. This may happen, if you are too rigid in your thinking and have developed a closed mind.

How do we then move on to a different frequency? These thoughts are called secret shifters. Think back to the good times you have had in your life. Even the most miserable person on earth can recall a few moments of pleasure in their lives. Maybe it your lovers smile or touch, a moment of achievement which gave you a high or even a piece of music. All these can act as secret shifters. For me, it is the thought of a meandering river back in my village. The gurgling sound of its waters always calms and sooths me. You may have your own secret shifters. Ride on them and surf through the good times of your life.

Feelings are a good indicator of your thoughts. Use secret shifters to change your frequency of thought.

If you ask me if there are any steps in following the Law of Attraction, my immediate response would be no. You don't have to know anything except to have firm and unwavering belief in it. After all, the law of attraction calls for simple faith and belief. The steps I am going to explain are a part of the thought process and need no explanation. You are subconsciously going through them.

The best example I can think of is Aladdin's lamp. The story used to be a favorite of mine and if I am not wrong, most of us. Do you know that the Genie would appear only if you rub the lamp? Otherwise he would remain inside the lamp, confined and chained. This is exactly what is happening to our thoughts. We never let the Genie of our thoughts come out of our heads. We don't want to release the most powerful thoughts. Thoughts which would transform our lives and bring abundant joy, happiness and untold wealth. We are even afraid to ask, afraid to realize our dreams! Remember what the Genie says when he emerges from the lamp? "Your wish is my command." What does he mean? Exactly what he says. If you wish for a hundred dollars, he will give it to you. If you ask for a million dollars, he would comply. If you ask for a hundred million... You have to ask first. We think of all the negativity in our lives and settle for a small favor, when all the while we can realize our deepest desires.

I have seen people who settle for the second best because they feel that the best is not for them. They have already made up their mind that they are not destined for greater things . "My Dad never got a degree, how will I get one?" "Genetically we are not that intelligent". People tend to blame their parents, genes and even destiny for what they are presently. They never get to rub the lamp and release the Genie. What a powerful metaphor? The Genie gives exactly what you ask for. Don't limit yourself. Ask for the sky. Dream your boldest and most colorful dreams. Dare to dare.

To Stay In Control, You Have To Stay Out Of Control

2007-05-12T05:30:00.001-07:00

To have the freedom to choose and chart your destiny, you must have tremendous power at the palm of your hand.

For this to be possible, you have to free yourself from the chains and shackles of other people’s influences. You must keep an eye on people who use others for their own selfish motives. When you do, you can be in control as long as you stay out of other people’s control.

To do this, you have to know the following:

1. Get to know the ‘control people.’ Learn who they are. It may take time to know them, but experience will be your guide.

Basically though, “control people” have negative tendencies, always concerned about themselves only. They know only one side -- their side. They can be conceited and self-centered. They hide under cloaks with daggers on hand. They come in various disguises. They may be caring on the outside, but scheming within. Remember Snow White and the old lady with the poisoned apple?

2. ‘Control people’ only have one objective: to put one over you. They will do everything they can to turn you into a puppet in their hands. Stay clear from their ploys. They can be very wily and persuasive. That’s why you have to be alert at most times. Control people do not follow rules. When you think or feel that you are sinking into their trap, grab a hold on something early on. Should you sink into one deep enough, the lesson you learn will make you wiser the next time.

3. ‘Control people’ are actually weak people. They seem to be smart but they aren’t. They only act smart. They have to; otherwise, no one is going to believe them. Only the weak ones will succumb to their flimsy excuses. They show their strengths but hide their weaknesses.

4. If you are not aware of it, there is a ‘control people’ in each of us. A certain level of selfishness within us helps to keep our motivations and aspirations on fire. One of the differences between the good people and the bad is the level of selfishness within. Good people keep this level low.

On the one hand, control people become such because they may have been victims of other ‘control people.’ Due to past experiences, they become ‘control people themselves. They may be acting against their will, which may be beyond their control. Understand them, but do so with caution. Others may be hardened, tempered, die-hard ‘control people;’ they simply enjoy the journey of being such. Beware of them.

Beware of control people! The right attitude is to BE AWARE.

Be aware that there are control people and do not be afraid of them. You cannot run away from them completely. The more you run, the more they will chase you.

Face them with courage and wisdom. Be wise against their ways. There is no other choice but to live with them. Check out who is in control of your wheel.

Thoughts about Thoughts

2007-05-12T05:19:00.000-07:00

About 20 years ago, I became a student of my thoughts. I was the mother of two young children, my own mother was suffering through a terminal illness and my husband had been laid off from his job. But, somehow, deep inside, I knew that there was more to life than this stress and struggle. Intuitively, I began to watch my thoughts.

At first, watching my thoughts felt like being caught in a fierce current in a river. Every once in a while, I would struggle to bring my head above the water only to be dragged under moments later. I also remember that, at this time, my river was consumed with fear.

One day, preparing dinner in the kitchen, my head struggled above the water and I screamed this thought to the universe. "Why do we have to feel so much fear?" To my amazement, the universe immediately returned the answer, "To learn not to be afraid." This thought had just barged into my mind and, in shock I thanked the source and its confirmation that I was indeed not alone. Even though it wasn't the answer I wanted to hear – maybe a little sympathy would be nice . . . and my head was under water again.

Slowly, I was learning that the trick to keeping my head above water was not to be consumed by my thoughts. Easier said than done. Another thing I learned was that I did not like what I saw. My thoughts were negative and judgmental or escaped completely into fantasy. Things really began to feel ugly when I realized that all of my judgmental thoughts about others were really based on what I disliked about myself. I had reached the point of no return. There was no way I could jump back into the river again and be unconscious about what I was thinking. Now what?

I noticed that there was a light appearing in the midst of the darkness. I was becoming aware that there were two parts of my mind at work when I was watching my thoughts – the part that was stuck in the river and the part that was watching everything. As I began to identify more with the watching part, I felt better. I felt more detached from the river-thoughts and could just watch them for a while, sometimes even without judgment. I also noticed that I could keep my head above the water for longer stretches now.

As I identified more with the watching part of my mind, I felt clearer and more in touch with my intuition. So I began to test, play with, doubt and gradually trust my intuition. One of my favorite games was to enter a bookstore or library with the intention "What do I need to learn today?" I would wander around and as long as I could stay in this part of my mind, invariably, a colour or word on a book would jump out at me. Every single time, what I needed to learn that day was in that book. Once, a book even fell off the shelf behind me as I passed. Must have had my head under water at that moment. There is an old saying that is something like, "when the student is ready, the teacher appears." I realized that my teachers have always been around me; I just wasn't paying attention. When I did pay attention, I learned that everyone in my life was really a reflection of what was wonderful about me (these are nice) or what I needed to learn. When I discovered that within me was the most important teacher of all, I learned to be more gentle and forgiving of myself. Besides, pretty well everyone I knew had their heads stuck under water too. How can I be hard on anybody else when we are all gasping for air?

Gradually, I discovered that the most fascinating thing about my watching mind was that, while I was there, I found out that I could choose what I thought. If I didn't like a thought, I would stop it or cancel it and replace it with something better. I found this challenging to remember at first, when I came up sputtering for air, but it was certainly doable. The more I remembered it the better I got at choosing my thoughts.

Life seems to be sending us all some challenging reflections and lessons lately. Those of us who manage to get our heads above the water or even leave the river to sit on its banks, hold an essential example for those still struggling under water. Imagine a bunch of electric eels in the water. The more eels who turn on their lights, the easier it is for everyone in the river to see.

Short Sleeves Insights - Fuel For Thought!

2007-05-12T05:16:00.002-07:00

I found a few thoughts I wanted to share today. Each paint a vision of who I am, or who I can be. There is always something special about reading something you already know, it's called remembering, bringing past knowledge into the present moment. It only takes a couple of minutes to change how I feel. Reading thoughts like these, reminds me I'm not alone on my journey, and that it is natural to experience contrast in life, so I can grow from it.

The first thought is from Lao-tzu the "Ancient Boy," written over 2500 years ago.

"Fame or integrity: Which is more important?
Money or happiness: Which is more valuable?
Success or failure: Which is more destructive?
If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself.
Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."

The next thought is from Eva Pierrakos who was born in Vienna in 1915. She lectured across the world and her work became known as the "Pathwork." She and her husband John, a psychiatrist, developed a school of therapy known as "Core Energetics." This is one of Eva's works Titled: "Through The Gateway."

"Through the gateway of feeling your weakness lies your strength.
Through the gateway of feeling your pain lies your pleasure and joy.
Through the gateway of feeling your fear lies your security and safety.
Through the gateway of feeling your loneliness lies your capacity to have fulfillment, love and companionship.
Through the gateway of feeling your hate lies your capacity to love.
Through the gateway of feeling your hopelessness lies your true and justified hope.
Through accepting the lacks of your childhood lies your fulfillment now."

The last two thought are from Barbara Ann Brennan, who founded a school of self healing and has written several books on the art of healing yourself. These quotes are from her book, "Light Emerging."

"It's not selfish to love yourself. Rather think of yourself as a cup that can be filled. When your cup runs over, the love spills out to those around us. You must love yourself in order to give love to others."

"The most epidemic health problem we have today is self hatred. The course of self hatred is self betrayal."

Short Sleeves Insights - What Is Body Language?

2007-05-12T05:16:00.001-07:00

"There is no such thing as either birth or death. They both are temporary markings having to deal with the illusion that we are each a body. We can mark our bodies as having a birth and a death, but the "I" has never been born and will never die."

Fred Alan Wolf is a PH.D. in theoretical physics and is well known through his teachings, books, movie appearances and speaking engagements. His work in quantum physics is helping us see ourselves with different eyes. The body is a part of the "I" that I use, to travel through time and space.

Birth and death effects us all in some way. Joyous celebration at birth, and somber gatherings at death. It seems we look at the beginning of life as happy and the end as sadness, and everything in between is like the jelly between those slices of bread. It can sweet, fruity, sour, or distasteful depending on my feelings. The journey has many flavors and many colors and are there for me to experience in my own fashion. It is easy to forget how important the body is on my journey. It is my vehicle of matter, in this now.

Today there are many things to assist me in making sure my body works the way it was designed.There are several industries that tell me what to do, what to take, and charge me for those services and products. They fall short in what they can actually do, but I'm willing to pay, because someone told me that was the only solution available. For some, it is the only way and so be it.

I have abused my body on my journey, with my thoughts, especially the thoughts that make it old before its time, thoughts of hatred and judgment. I do the have the ability to make it work much better and a lot longer than I have been taught. But I have to change my thoughts about it, to make that happen. I must realize that I create my wellness. The most powerful drug I can use to keep my body functioning is self-awareness. The greatest stimulants available are laughter and fun. The perfect tune up is peace of mind. They are all available at no charge, free for me to use. Insurance in the true sense of the word. Underwritten by the energy that supplies All There Is, Love.

As Dr. Wolf tells us, we are never born nor do we die, except in body in this reality. My "I" is eternal. Understanding I have the ability to keep my creation healthy, wealthy, safe and running for hundreds of years, is only a thought away. My thought. My reality. My time and space. How do I want to experience myself now?

This is part of my lesson, this is why I am here now, to become aware, and connected to the many aspects of myself. To grow into a grander version of the "I," I am. To love all life, beginning with the body I call Hal. What is body language without a body?

Getting Help With Procrastination - Don't Put It Off

2007-05-12T05:13:00.000-07:00

If you are a procrastinator, then you aren’t alone. There are many more people just like you who are waiting for an answer to their problem. When they get an assignment, a job, or a task to perform, they wait until the last possible moment to get it done. These folks lack the motivation to jump on things as soon as they should. It probably started early in school for most people, as they put off assignments so that they could enjoy other things. Little did they know that in their later years, they would still be fighting those old habits that they learned as a child.

Procrastination is just a mental condition that can be cured. It is not something flawed in your chemical makeup. In order to lead a successful life, you need to have some motivation, though. You cannot go through life putting off the important things that you have to do. If you feel like you have no ability to get your work done until the last moment, then you should get some help for your procrastination problem. There are many ways to get over this problem and they all involve making a change in your thinking.

If you need to have a positive change and get some good thoughts flowing through your head, then consider hypnotherapy. As a hypnotherapist, I have treated many people who simply couldn’t get their work done. After going through hypnosis, they were able to do things that they never thought possible. Hypnotherapy is the solution for many problems that you might have thought had no answer. Though the most commonly treated ailments are things like smoking, stress, and alcoholism, any mental block can be treated with hypnosis. You just have to find some way to open yourself up to new habits. New habits start with a change in your mindset.

Hypnotherapy is something that has become much more accepted in recent years as a cure for a bunch of different problems. It’s not just something that you see in the movies. It is a cure for problems when hope seems too far away. If you feel like you will never get over your problems with procrastination, then get some information on hypnosis. You might be surprised at how well it can work for you. If not, then perhaps self hypnosis is something that can help you get over your problem.

Those Who Purveyors of Fear - Warn of Us Things to Come

2007-05-12T05:11:00.001-07:00

With all the conspiracy theorists out there claiming that the Military caused Hurricane Katrina and the Bush Administration orchestrated 911 and that we were all going to die during the New Year's celebration of Y2K, well you have to wonder how we even got this far to begin with?

And if that is not enough there are people running around talking about the New World Order, HIV/AIDS in the US, World Population downsizing and monetary manipulations and allocation of Research Monies to cause evil. Yes and even with all these theories we are merely warming up.

Well, you will have to excuse my inability to buy into Doom and Gloom, conspiracy theories, etc. I have lived a long time. Indeed, I have studied some history and just laugh like hell at all these humans running around consulting with Chicken Little, with their pants on fire and the podium pushers who pick up that ball and run with it. If the whole world becomes chaos, there will be plenty of opportunity for those who study the game.

What is going to cause a huge change? Are you talking about this Global Warming Theory? Monetary Collapse? Asteroid hitting the Earth? Severe Droughts? Plagues and Disease? Or are you just trying to scare everyone using a combo affect of all these fine convenient concepts?

Wake up people and ditch these scare tactics. FEAR is over rated. There is nothing to fear really. Fear depletes essential vitamins in the body and causes stress. Look in your mirror do you fear what you see? If not, do not worry about it.

Magnetism and Attraction - Law of Attraction

2007-05-12T05:09:00.000-07:00

"The predominant thought or the mental attitude is the magnet, and the law is that like attracts like, consequently, the mental attitude will invariably attract, such conditions as correspond to its nature." ~ Charles Hannel.

Thoughts are powerful and transform themselves into things. How does this miracle happen? Thoughts are transmitted into the universe, where all things are already present. By thinking and transmitting the like frequency, we attract like things to us.

Dr. Joe Vitale has wonderfully explained this phenomenon in terms of a television broadcast. We know that the programs are beamed to us from a transmission tower and we are able to see these on our television by tuning in to the required frequency. The important words here are ‘tuning in' and ‘frequency.' Do we really understand how it all happens? No. But still we are able to watch the program we want. We don't have to understand the science of it. In fact, one should simply believe. We are all transmission towers transmitting at different frequencies. Some of us transmit powerful positive signals which reach out to the universe and bring forth beautiful and fruitful results. On the other hand, there are those who transmit sad and negative thoughts. What do you think they get in return?

Think back and analyze your thoughts in the past few weeks. Are you thinking the thoughts you want to realize? Or are you attracting the wrong things by thinking the wrong thoughts. Remember that thoughts are the seed of reality. Reinforce this idea in your mind that thoughts are things. Repeat it over and over in your mind.

Let me go back to the example of the television. What do you do if you don't like a program? Change the channel. At least that's what I do. It is the same with your life. Don't get stuck in a channel you don't wish to live in. Simply flick to a different channel. It is not difficult. It doesn't cost any money. It is effortless. Change your thoughts and mentally visualize the channel which you like to live. You will start living your good thoughts.

Your thoughts become things. Transmit frequencies which you want to live and you will start living those things.

The law of attraction is immutable. It doesn't change. It is like gravity. Have you ever seen human beings fly? Why not? Because gravity is ever present. It doesn't happen that gravity gets switched off for some time. It is omnipresent, everywhere. The same is true for the law of attraction. If you think good thoughts they go out into the universe and transform themselves into things and bounce back as reality.

It is important that we believe in the law of attraction and summon good thoughts. When you want to go to the office, what do you do? You take the first step towards realizing the goal of reaching the office. Why should your future be any different? You have to grasp your future with both hands and think your way towards the goal. That's the beginning and let me assure you, also the end. You have to bring your thoughts into focus. You have to start living your thoughts.

Awareness is a powerful thought. It is not important that we understand every aspect of the law. It is also not important to know how it works. You have to be aware of the power of law of attraction. This awareness will unleash powerful forces in the universe, totally unknown to you. These forces will combine to create a reality which will be in the mold of your thoughts. Belief, faith and awareness will propel you to wealth, happiness and prosperity.

There is no limit to your thoughts. You can and should imagine the highest, best and the unimaginable. All this will be delivered to you and more. All the scriptures and the greatest philosophers have said the same thing, over and over again. Reality is the result of the mind. If you think there is no reality but a reflection of your mind, you are right. We are creators of our own destiny. It is we who are cowards and shy away from our true feelings and desires. We are afraid to pluck the flowers which are present in the garden of our life.

Be aware of your tremendous potential. Even mountains can be moved with a thought.

Personal Development Through Books

2007-05-01T03:48:00.000-07:00

There are three ways people learn:

1) Through doing
2) Through seeing
3) Through hearing

Some people prefer to go to a seminar to learn, some prefer watching someone else do it, yet other people prefer to read about how they can change their life.

Seminars can be costly, some of them run into the tens of thousands of dollars and you have the disadvantage of having to travel to the seminar location.. One on one coaching can be expensive and relies on you finding a decent coach in your area, which may not be possible.

One of the best self improvement methods is through books. Books are affordable, common and thanks to online bookstores, you are no longer reliant on the whims of your local book stores.

Books in bookstores though tend to be a little bit out of date due to the length of time it takes to get a book from the author’s imagination onto the personal development shelves in your store.

Electronic books (or e-books as they are known) provide much more current information as there is very little delay in getting them published.

Personal development e-books can help you take control of your life and are an excellent source of cutting edge information – often information deemed too radical or controversial for a traditional publisher.

The benefits of personal developments books are many, but they include:

INSPIRATION & MOTIVATION : Reading a story about how someone else has succeeded can be very inspirational and motivating. Knowing that other people can overcome adversity in their lives can provide you the inspiration and ideas on how to overcome the challenges in your own life.

ACTION PLAN : No matter what your goal in life is, you need an action plan, or road map of how you are going to get there. A good personal development book (such as the Success For Goal Setting Program) will help you create (and stick to) your action plan.

STRATEGIES THAT WORK : You can try to do something a hundred different ways and never succeed unless you know a strategy that works. Personal Development books will teach you techniques that really work and that you can apply to your life.

Effective Mindmapping and Learn the Mindmapping Tips

2007-05-01T03:47:00.001-07:00

What is mindmapping? How to make a mindmap? What are the benefits of mindmapping? For the uninitiated, mindmapping is a tool or diagram that is used to represent ideas, tasks, words or any other items that is linked and arranged around an original idea or a word. If you are looking for aid that you can use for study, for decision making, for problem solving, then mindmapping is often used to generate, structure and classify ideas. Some even go on to say that using effective mindmapping process, an invention can be born.

And so the next question will be, how do you make an effective mindmap. The idea of effective mindmapping is to use normal paper and using several color pens, this would make the ideas stand out and do not look boring. Let us see how this can be done, Here are some mindmapping tips.

1. Use one A4 size paper and make sure it is a plain paper. Turn your paper to landscape.

2 Draw a word or idea, this being the starting or core word/idea, using at least 3 colors. Make it into a picture. As you may probably knows that a picture speaks a thousand words.

3. Start to generate ideas or words that would link to your starting word/idea. The trick here is to start writing what comes to your mind. This is important as often, brilliant ideas come in an instant. Use branches to link up the starting word/idea using key words or images.

4. By now, you would have plenty of branches that start to spread out from your starting word/idea. Now begin to add details with more key words and using color pens throughout. The idea is to make your plain paper look as beautiful as possible.

5. Remember to write your words clearly and only use one word per line.

6. And if you have more ideas, linked them together using arrows.

7. Finally, when you are finished with your piece of art(ideas!), you have to start carefully study all the connections that you had made between your ideas. Try to relate them and make sure they make sense to you.

When you are done, you will be looking at a piece of colorful paper with loads of words/ideas.

Mindmapping tips

Do not get stuck in one area. Let you ideas flow by itself. If you find that some of your branches start to make less sense, do not despair. Simply return to your starting word/idea and work your way out again.

You may need to add more paper to contain all your ideas. Do not get stingy with paper! Attach more paper if needed.

Your paper may be filled with many branches. It would be wise to use one color for one branch and the other branch, different color. This would make your paper more readable.

Of course, as mentioned before, picture speaks a thousand. Let your creativity flow with pictures that can represent words.

Mission and Vision Statements and the Purpose Driven Life

2007-05-01T03:46:00.000-07:00

It has happened AGAIN. Another missed family dinner by one or more members. This would not have been so important had not the whole family decided after reading the Purpose Driven Life they had had enough of missing out on each other’s lives. Now, the most recent incident at Virginia Tech brings it home once again.

How do we create value in decisions for our family? Perhaps the recognition that service to one another is the first mission or value best learned early in a family’s life. “”We serve our children by raising them with love and understanding. We serve our communities by offering our time and resources to those in need. We serve a higher power by serving our fellow man” writes Don Midgett, author of Mission and Vision Statements: Your Path to a Successful Business Future. “Whether it is in a personal, community or business endeavor, our true mission begins with service to others.” This mission can be created together. In fact, it can only succeed if all members of the family participate authentically.

Setting a mission and vision statement down in words is a unifying and powerful tool for each member and for the “whole” of the family. Because each has worked to create the mission and also the future vision for the family, values can remain strong and even growth or change can be understood and agreed on by all. If you need help with creating your mission and vision statements, visit the website listed in the Author Resource Box and use the exercises in the e-book Mission and Vision Statements: Your Path to a Successful Business Future. These exercises and the materials are applicable to individuals as well and you get a process, complete with easy-to-use exercises, that make for a perfect addition to Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life book and allow you to discover and write your personal or family mission and vision statements.

Get Down With Circadian Rhythms

2007-05-01T03:45:00.004-07:00

With all due respect to Greenwich Village Time, work buzzers, agendas and time clocks - they really have little influence on how our bodies keep time. The secret, omnipresent timekeeper governing how we feel and when, is a physiological process called circadian rhythms, and it's on this watch we need to map out our activities.

Circadian rhythms, and there are over 100 of them, lay the grooves for 24 hour sets and regulate every function of our bodies. Heart rate, body temperature, energy levels, quantity and quality of sleep, pain tolerance and so forth, are conducted by these overlapping and on going rhythms like a rave party.

The disc jockeys mixing these phat bass-lines is found in a minuscule section of the brain called the suprachiasmatic nuclei. It receives and processes internal and external clues such as light, dark, food and energy, and keeps body functions synchronized with these events in a synergistic manner. When we're synced with our environmental stimuli, we feel alive and ready for action. When our rhythms skip a beat, the repercussions can be profound and long-lasting. We can't sleep properly, our energy levels suck and we feel vulnerable.

24 Hour Circadian Cycles:
Here's the typical circadian play list and how you can keep it locked all day long.

5am - DJ Fahrenheit drops the body temperature to it's lowest point of the night, and as a result we sleep better.

6am - As your body temperature starts to rise, you awake and start your day proper. Rhythms that govern sleep stop and other rhythms, triggered by outside influences called "zeitgeber", initiate other cycles. Light and darkness are big ones. Blood pressure also rises in the morning (and maybe even your temper when you realize it's only Tuesday). Also: Drivers are 20 times more likely to nod off at the steering wheel at this time, so avoid driving if at all possible.

8am - Cortisol levels are highest in the mornings and this is not necessarily a good thing. Cortisol is a hormone produced by the adrenal cortex as a response to stress and increases blood pressure. Cortisol also wastes muscle tissue, so if you're keen on keeping your hard-earned muscle, 8am is a good time to reverse it's affect by downing a protein shake.

10am - Heart attacks are three times more likely around this hour than any other time of the day. This may be due to a) caffeine and other stimulants people use to wake and and get the motor running, b) the relatively sudden physical and mental activities from the dormant, ultra-relaxed state of sleep, and c) increases of cortisol in the blood.

12pm - Lunch is another zeitgeber that gives the brain hints as to whether active circadian rhythms are on the beat. Noon is typically when we are in the best mood of the day (provided you avoided the 10 am heat attack). Go hither and make friends and influence people.

1pm - Medical studies suggest meds are best administered at this time. Something about the afternoon makes the potency and effectiveness just that much better.

2pm - Hand/eye coordination peaks at 2 pm, giving you the manual dexterity to pwn villains and video games and surpass production standards at work.

4pm - Pain tolerance is highest at 4pmm, so schedule your next dentist appointment at this time. You can also squeeze out a few more reps at this golden hour. If you want to learn ways on how to increase your pain threshold, read "King of Pain".

5pm - When is the best time for a no-holds barred cage match you ask? Why, it's at 5pm, when your muscles are strongest and most pliable!

6pm - If supper-time makes you sing, it's because taste buds are at their keenest at the dinner hour.

8pm - Let's face it, abstaining from alcohol is best, but if you do drink, remember that alcohol tolerance is highest at this hour, and it would be easy to hurt yourself by consuming too much. Drink responsibly, if you must at all.

11pm - Sleep triggers a release of growth hormone and all the action happens within the first two hours. Capitalize on this important opportunity for recuperation with a ZMA stack and 5mg of glutamine dissolved in water.

3am - Question for the women: Did you put on a skin moisturizer to capitalize on the skin-cell repairing that happens at this hour? You can avoid nasty pillow wrinkles by applying sunblock to your face before you go to bed.

Speed Reading Courses Online

2007-05-01T03:45:00.003-07:00

One of the greatest opportunities that the internet provides is the opportunity to complete courses and programs at the learners convenience at a personal pace. Online speed reading courses have a standard program of study that students can complete largely at their own pace, providing the course is completed within the stated time lines.

Speed reading courses over the computer also offer instantaneous recording, charting and grading of course work and assignments. Online programs will include information on the strategies used in speed reading as well as the theory behind the strategies and techniques. The information may be presented as written material, PowerPoint presentations or even as streaming video lecture style information. Since the material is available online at an time, students can log in and work at their own convenience, which is ideal for students, working professionals and even parents that only have time to study after the kids are off to bed.

The courses offered online will each be slightly different, but typically they will follow the same general outline or progressive level of study. The first class will typically start with a online reading test that will record speed of reading, a comprehension test, as well as a test that records your current eye movement and ability to track or scan objects presented visually.

Speed reading courses will include eye exercises that become progressively more challenging as well as more intense. These exercises will strengthen your eye movement and decrease the amount of extra or repetitive eye movements you may naturally use in reading. Every week or class another speed reading and comprehension test will be administered to allow students to track their progress.

Typically reading classes will focus on helping you understand good reading habits and eliminating poor habits that you may have developed. The material will also allow the learner to practice various strategies and routines for reading between online course programs.

In determining which of the online speed reading courses is most appropriate be sure to check the qualifications of the instructor, as well as the overall feedback of other students that have completed the program. Courses that are offered through a community college or an accredited college or university in your area will meet these standards, but there are also international programs available online.

Confusion # 6 - Confused People Follow Their Emotions

2007-05-01T03:45:00.001-07:00

What would happen if you simply thought of your emotions as a source of information, similar to the thermostat on the wall? Our emotions, while real, are neither reliable nor the only indicators of what is happening.

The emotion that arises at any given point is a conditioned response. Our senses provide data which our mind examines and compares to past experience. From this, almost instantaneous evaluative process comes an emotional reaction linked to the past experiences. This reaction may or may not be appropriate to the present situation.

Our actual experience is that our emotions are often misguided. For example: you get angry with someone, based upon sensory data (what they did, said, looked like) and unconfirmed guesses about what the data means. Later, you discover that they had just experienced a crisis that had nothing to do with you. Your emotional reaction, which seemed so valid and justified, is now, with the new information at hand, inappropriate.

You chose to become angry because of your past experience. You took unrelated signs (a stern look, a tone of voice) and made rapid, internal judgments about the other person. Then, in an instant, you pushed your “ANGER” button. This was your choice (no excuses . . . no “yes, but” - remember our previous discussions.) Instead, you could have said, “Hmm. I’m feeling angry. What’s happening here to cause me to choose that response?” And then (imagine!) you could ask the person you’re in dialogue with what’s happening for them. Viola. One less mess to clean up.

So, what about “positive” emotions? Well, even love is misunderstood. Typically, the first stage of love, (romantic love) is hormonally driven—we sort of fall head over heels into this warm, gushy place. That’s why we say we’ve “fallen in love.” You feel good, but it’s a sexual, biological feeling. Now, if we simply follow the feeling, we are, like as not, going to wake up one day and discover that we hate the person we are supposed to love. The hormonal drive is the drive to mate and procreate. It is never about compatibility.

A better approach, when feeling the first flush of love, is to also engage the brain and the soul, and explore who the person is. What does this person know about who they are? Who am I, as I attempt to be in relationship? What are my expectations? As I move around the hormones, is this a person who is on the same life path as me? Can I focus in on their life path and agree to support their walk—and equally important, do they support mine?

Or, do I think, “Well, he’s not perfect, but I can change him?”

Universal guideline: Never attempt to change anyone. People are who they are. People can choose to change some behaviour to make for smoother sailing, but we are who we are at the core of our beings, and that can’t be changed. Besides, why spend your life, time and energy, trying to get someone to change? Why not just hang out with people who are on the path you are walking?

Here’s another guideline: Never become intimate with any person who does not have a mentor you would go to for advice. Never, never, never, become intimate with someone with no mentor. No matter what excuse they give.

Sure, a whole lot of people won’t fit these criteria, but that’s OK. When you meet people with whom you really connect, the passion of that connection beats hormones every time.

We can say the same about relationships with people you work with. Be selective. Use the mentoring criteria. Make the deep connections with those on similar paths. The connection will feel right.

Developing Your Unique Personal Mission Statement

2007-05-01T03:44:00.001-07:00

Creating, speaking and living your personal mission is absolutely imperative to living a successful life. Having a clearly defined mission statement gives your life meaning, purpose and direction. Creating a personal mission is fun, easy and quick.

Without a purpose, or personal mission, it becomes easy to wander and drift through life with no specific direction, not accomplishing very much. With a purpose, or mission, life comes alive! You are able to live everyday with passion. The passion that I’m speaking of can only come from truly living from your heart. Discovering ‘Who’ you really are and ‘Why’ you were created that way brings a level of clarity and confidence to your life. As I said before, life comes alive when you live on purpose. Instead of working to pay the bills, you start thinking of how you can better serve the world with your personal greatness.

The true expression of a personal mission in action is fulfillment. If you are not totally happy and fulfilled, chances are good that you are not in your right place, not living from who you are as a person. When you are in your place, you easily and seemingly effortlessly excel at all you do.

When you live from your mission, things that were not working will happily fall into place. Work is no longer work. Work becomes what Mark Victor Hansen calls “Work Play”, because how can you call something you really enjoy, work?

Creating a personal mission statement is quick, easy and fun. Take the next step now to discover who you really are and why you were made that way.

Good for the Can, Not as Good for You

2007-05-01T03:42:00.000-07:00

Travel through your past relationships and visit the truth within them. What do you see? Happiness, Sadness, Anger, Bliss, Attraction, Passion, Sex, Stimulation, Support, Ego. If you see any of these, you are not alone. If you see many of these in one relationship, you are not alone. Every past relationship is past for a reason. We are not always sure what that reason is, but believe me if that person was "the one" that person would not be past. Searching for compatible people to share your life with is difficult in forming friendships, but it seems that few people consider that same compatibility must also exist within a relationship. Within a relationship many emotions are experienced. Earlier we reviewed the novelty of a relationship in its formative stages. Although this phase seems to be required, most seem never to make it into the next phase.

Some people are best left as friends without searching out more. We have all had that experience of falling in love with our friend. Not that this is automatically a bad thing. A wonderful relationship can be had with your friend, in fact probably a healthier one, if both are of like mind. But if the object of your desire is not desiring you, then there is little chance for a healthy relationship. So continues the search.

Another experience that seems universal is recycling relationships. Recycling? Yes, recycling, not cans and bottles but ex-s. Case in point: Person A is in the formative stages with Person X. Person A runs into Person C (past relationship guy/girl) by accident of the universe. Person A converses with Person C, nothing spectacular, no fireworks, nothing to write home about. Conversation happens, everyone continues their lives. Person X and Person A have some conflict, perhaps a small communication problem. Person C happens to take Person A's invitation "to call me sometime" and does. Person A and C begin to reminisce, remembering the good times, laughter follows. A feels good about C. They hang out. Here is the crossroad. Person A can make the choice that will determine the future of the relationship with X. Does A get intimate with C? or does A listen to the little voice inside that reminds A of why the relationship failed to begin with? If you were A what would you do?

I don't have an answer for what A does. I believe the reason people recycle, which is what A does if A continues a relationship with C, is because of their inability to detach. Perhaps recycling occurs from fear of being hurt by someone new. Another theory is that recycling occurs because people seek familiarity and/or security from the past. Whatever the reason recycling happens, it happens often. So why does the universe seem to place us in these situations? Is it a test? I believe, yes it most certainly is. When that choice is presented to us it is a clear test of our learning. What did we learn before? Haven't we been here before? Probably yes, but still some are compelled to repeat mistakes. In this case, recycling is bad for your emotional health and does nothing to help any potential relationships that are forming.

My Trainer Joe

2007-05-01T03:41:00.002-07:00

Pulse racing, I lay on the floor. I envisioned a crowd gathering around with paramedics ordering the crowd to stand back as they readied themselves to apply CPR. Roused from my reverie, I felt Joe’s hand on my shoulder. “Mr. Blake,” I heard him say. I sat up on the gym mat, breathing hard. My face was red. “I can’t be your trainer anymore. The risk is too great.” Joe continued. “I pushed you too hard. You’ll have to get a doctor’s release to continue with your training.”

Wow! My trainer had fired me. “You can continue using the equipment,” he assured me, “but the club cannot assume the responsibility for your training.” Disappointed and sheepish I stood up, shook Joe’s hand, thanked him, and made my way to the Life Cycle machine where Joe had trained me the day before.

At a regular check up two years ago Dr. Chin indicated he was afraid to send me out on the street because my blood pressure had registered so high. I assured him I could get it back under control with exercise and attention to my food intake. He scheduled a follow up appointment for a month later.

Neither an exercise nor a diet program took place. I weighed in two pounds heavier at my next appointment just thirty days later. My blood pressure was still high. Dr. Chin was reluctant to put me on a medication. Instead he put me on parole. I was to chart my blood pressure daily and was given another thirty-day reprieve. I assured him I would begin a walking regime

Clyde, my older brother had died in his sleep, of heart failure, six months earlier. I felt doomed. I accepted as fact, “My days are numbered.” At the end of thirty days I returned for the verdict. The sporadic walking exercise had not done the job. We talked about quality of life. Again I thought, “It’s over.”

Dr. Chin gave me samples of a prescription medication and a life expectancy of at least thirty days as I made another appointment for a month away. By the end of the first week I was beginning to mellow. Nothing seemed to faze me. Procrastination became a password. There was another side affect that bothered me. I tired more easily. As each day progressed I experienced a feeling of lethargy. By late afternoon my eyes were crossing. Monthly appointments became routine. We tried a new prescription, and another.

I started walking more regularly. Thelma put me on low sodium, low fat, and no taste diet. I shared my dilemma with anyone who would listen and soon discovered that almost half of my friends and acquaintances were on a program of their own. The anxiety level went down and things started going better. Hope returned. Life returned to normal.

In January of 2004 I closed my business. My schedule changed significantly. Within a few weeks, I was no longer on any kind of an exercise program. Although my check ups were quarterly now instead of monthly, Dr. Chin quickly picked up on the change. He gave me an ultimatum. I was to walk an hour a day, four days a week or suffer the obvious consequences. He walked regularly. Why couldn’t I?

The feeling of doom returned. Again, I failed to implement a walking regime. A few months later, in desperation, I scheduled an appointment with the “24 Hour Fitness Center” in San Leandro. I rationalized, “If I have to pay for it, I will do it”.

And now, my second day at the gym and I was being rejected. Physically challenged I feel like a misfit. I mounted the cycle. I programmed the machine: cardiac, twenty minutes, age seventy-four, just as Joe had taught me. I was well on my way to an exercise program and years of additional longevity.

At the end of the twenty minutes the slow down period kicked in. The timer began ticking down to zero. At zero I read the summary of my day’s workout. I had ridden nine miles, burned off one hundred fifteen calories, and maintained a heart rate of one hundred one.

Although I am not technically intuitive, I am a good observer. After days of watching others doing stomach crunches on a machine nearby, I have added this to my repertoire of exercise skills. Over the years I have consistently failed the stress test exercises in the doctor’s office but plan to bravely venture out soon to try the treadmill. The stair step machine is another intriguing possibility.

I have spotted a few friends at the fitness center on a regular basis. One friend checks me off on an imaginary clipboard as I greet him. I stand a little taller and pull in my stomach as I greet other friends hoping they will notice the remarkable change in my physique.

I can now report to Dr. Chin that I have an exercise plan. My biggest reward comes from these six words, “Thelma, I’m going to the gym.” These words boost my self-esteem and are self-affirming. I me feel young again. Her six words of caution go unheard, “Be careful, and don’t over do.”

What If It Were You

2007-05-01T03:41:00.001-07:00

Today I am back from a great vacation that was good to have. It was full of everything you would expect and all of the other things that life throws at us as well. We made a trip to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the historical battlefield from the U.S. Civil War. Other locations were visited as well, we passed the Blacksburg, Virginia site of the horrible shootings and other many things observed and enjoyed.

I also had the unfortunate opportunity to witness a head-on accident between a car and motorcycle. Myself and a few others got out, called emergency officials and assisted in any way that we could. I can not tell you if the motorcyclist survived his injuries. From what I observed, he would have been quite lucky if he did. My prayers and thoughts go out to him and his family as well as those also involved in the accident.

It surprised me observing all of this how many people simply left the scene. Many apparently not wanting to get involved, too busy to be concerned with the event that occurred. I direct this last statement to those that were direct witness to the accident. As busy as our lives are, we still need to have concern for our fellow human. It makes me wonder if these are the type of people one could depend upon for anything.

Life is taken away from us in many unexpected ways. It is something that a large majority of us have no control over. Yet for the living, how we respond to the death of another says much about our own character. A small level of compassion can go such a long way in the comforting of those that remain. As I have heard said, "prayers are for the deceased, sympathy is for the living."

Take a moment to think about how you might respond in an emergency. Even though it is tough to know exactly what that is, try to. Doing so now could make a difference in a real situation. As I would hope, if I were in need, out there are people willing to care and take action. Be a person of action to help others.

Conscious Choosing

2007-05-01T03:40:00.001-07:00

I was talking to a very nice young man last week, a self-employed graphic designer, married with two kids. As he talked about his work, there was a glimmer in his eyes and real excitement in his voice. It was clear that he’s passionate about what he does.

Then out of the blue, he said sadly, "I'm thinking about getting out of the business."

"Why?" I asked. "It's obvious you love your career."

"Yeah, I really love it. I'm good at it and my clients love me. I'm just not making any money. If things keep going the way they are, I'll be deep in debt within a year--too deep to get out. I don't have the stomach for that."

"Wait a second," I said. "There are plenty of people out there making a great living doing the same kind of work."

"Well, I'm not them," he said.

I looked at him over my glasses like a schoolmarm. "You're undercutting yourself, aren't you? Not charging what you're worth?"

He looked almost relieved, as though his little secret was finally out. "Exactly. I have pretty low self-esteem and I'm working on it, but I shy away from confrontation. Actually it terrifies me."

"What are you afraid might happen if you charge what you and I both know you're worth, and it causes a confrontation?" I asked.

"Well, that I'll lose clients, for one - that scares me. But what haunts me is the fear that they won't like me. I know that's silly, but I still feel that way. I'm not sure what to do with that."

While you may not deal with this exact fear, you have irrational fears of your own. They're the ones that aren't justified when you shed the light of day on them, but they still keep you limited in some way.

I went skydiving several years ago. I clearly remember standing at the door of the plane, looking 14,000 feet down, with a professional strapped to my back. My rational mind said yes, but my instincts said no way.

That experience carried a huge amount of self-discovery that never would have been possible had I not gone through with it. I couldn't have talked myself into a new understanding of myself; it took the conscious choice of falling out of an airplane to make it happen.

The more I work with myself and clients, the more I realize that fears and beliefs are not something you shift by thinking about them.

Certainly, being mindful of your limitations is essential to the process, but the best way I know to build confidence is to identify the fear, and then do the thing that scares you.

By doing so, you're proving to yourself (or your inner-saboteur) that the fear isn't true or justified. You're proving that you're capable of breaking down all your old limitations that don't serve you any more.

Here are some steps for Conscious Choosing:

1. Focus on your vision of the thing you want. What will life be like when you've hit that goal, or reached that milestone? For my friend, he'll be able to raise his rates and continue the business that he loves. And, he'll be straight with his clients and himself about the value of his work, growing not only his business and income, but also his confidence and self-esteem.

2. Separate the irrational fear from the real risk. "My clients won't like me," is an irrational fear, but also a real risk. On the other hand, appeasing clients just to be liked is no way to go through life. The real risk is being held back by fears.

3. Understand the action steps you want to take. "I will double my rates within four months." It should be bold without being ridiculous.

4. Do it. No apologizing, no second guessing yourself, no backing down. Just do it.

5. Stay conscious. Notice what happened as a result of your choices. Especially reflect on the fact that the world didn't fall apart.

I'm willing to bet that the biggest result you'll see will be a huge sense of pride, freedom, confidence, and a desire to keep blowing down those old doors.

After all, the only real truth is the one you're creating every day of your life. Might as well be conscious along the way, right?

Until next month, I wish you much courageous action.

Tips to Deal With Procrastination - Stomping Procrastination Habits

2007-05-01T03:39:00.002-07:00

Are you ready to stomp on your excuses using some excellent tips to deal with procrastination? If you’ve been procrastinating long enough and putting off doing easy tasks for a long time, you have to take some inspired action and deal with your procrastination immediately.

Procrastination is a bug so dangerous, that it affects productivity; and the worse part is, it snowballs throughout the corporate ladder. Procrastination has cost more hours and money than anything else. Procrastination has delayed projects and grounded programs to a halt. It is the root of a corrupt bureaucracy.

Here are some great tips to deal with procrastination:

Number 1 Tip to Deal With Procrastination: Know the Root Cause.

What triggers your procrastination? Is it because your boss is nasty and is a slave-driver? Is it because your wife is nagging you? Or is it because you are just so swamped?

When you react to challenges and stress by being passive-aggressive and then procrastinating, then you need to correct your attitudes. Some people retaliate on others by procrastinating on delivering their requests. But if you are just procrastinating because you are so busy at the moment, then you have to organize and prioritize. Weed out the root of your procrastination: understand yourself. Only then can you make the steps to stop it.

Number 2 Tip to Deal With Procrastination: Correct Your Thoughts.

When you catch yourself thinking like a victim and being passive-aggressive, correct yourself. Passive-aggressiveness is not a good way to deal with stress and challenges. You have to own up to your anger, your irritation, and be honest with yourself and with your “adversary” about it.

Honesty dispels a lot of negativity by flashing the light of truth on it. There is something refreshing when you are honest with yourself. If you notice, when you are honest about your emotions and about everything in your life, you feel light. If you have been in denial or have been lying for so long, then you finally decide to make a clean breast out of things through honesty, then chances are, you'll feel lighter upon your moment of honest revelation.

Thus, when you deal with stress through procrastination, stop yourself. Admit what you feel. Confront your “enemy” in as civil or even gentle manner as possible. Try to arrive at a solution or at least a compromise. Then move on and finish what you have to do.

Do not succumb to thoughts that tell you that you are a victim. Face it; life is not exactly a good model for equality. But you can actually choose to deal with its unfair moments in a constructive manner. Let it spur you on instead of breaking your back.

Number 3 Tip to Deal With Procrastination: Apply Practical Tips.

If your root cause for procrastination is not an unhealthy attitude, you can deal with things in a more systematic, objective way: through prioritization and organization. Rank your tasks from the most important and urgent to the least, and tick them off as they are done. Stick to the goal of finishing the list. And don't make room for excuses. Just go and do it!

Bonus: Tips to Deal with Procrastination for Writers

- Randomly write. If you need to squeeze out a decent article now, start yourself by rambling randomly. If you have a blog, or a personal diary, start journaling your day, your thoughts, whatever. A lot of writers have found that just writing helps them jumpstart their creativity. They may come across a thought that is worth pursuing, and end up making a great piece thereafter.

- Take a break. Space out for five minutes, slumped on your chair. Chances are, you're just in a toxic moment and needed some rest.

- Take a deep breath; your brain may just be lacking oxygen, that's why it's sluggish.

- Read for a while. You may come across a good idea to write on.

- Have someone contribute a sentence for you. From that, you can develop it into a piece, especially if it's inspiring.

- If all else fails, turn in a forced piece of work, then go on vacation.

May these tips to deal with procrastination help you live a more productive life! Now go out there and do your thing!

How Fit Is Your Life?

2007-05-01T03:39:00.001-07:00

They say that whatever you focus on expands. While this may not help your waist line, it certainly helps when shaping up your life.

Every once in a while, it is time to do the one thing most of us dread: stand naked in front of the mirror. Gulp! That's right, in order to do this test, you need to be vulnerable.

Now back to the mirror: Take a good look at your life. What do you see? Be honest with yourself. Nobody is perfect and this means we all have room for a little improvement. Is your life really in the shape you'd like it to be in? Are you satisfied with what you see? What would you like to see different?

OK, you can put your clothes back on. It's time to hit the road. Will your relationships pass the endurance test? Are you dependable in the valleys, as well as on the mountain tops? Can you run the race of life and still be true to yourself and others? Are you able to look ahead without getting lost in the past? Look at the destination your life is heading toward. Is it where you want to go?

Congratulations! You have just completed the Life Fitness Test. What do you think about the results? Don't walk away and pretend you didn't just take off your clothes. Take the challenge and do something about what you saw. Now is the best time to get your life in shape!

The Most Sincere Speaking Problem Secrets

2007-05-01T03:38:00.002-07:00

Dude, there’s a secret I want to reveal to you.

It’s the secret of speaking extremely well.

Or, the secret of curing yourself off speaking problems.

Me personally? Phew, I was once the worst speaking problem victim you’ll ever know in your life.

I isolate myself from people just because I am insecure about speaking.

“What will happen if the person I like, or the person in front of me will LAUGH at me and despise me as I gag upon what words to say in my conversation?”

“No, I’m not willing to risk that chance…I don’t want to be humiliated!”

“I’m supposed to be one of history’s greatest Billionaire, I’m supposed to be able to do what every normal person in this world can DO!”

You know…these were the saddest times I had.

I was strictly insecure of it, and so it happens that when I’m out with friends – I always seem to not be able to be myself.

Anyways, who’s myself?

Who am I?

I can speak at times, smoothly, but when it’s something I’m not good at – I just plain SUCK at it!!!

Can you feel me dude?

But things started to change…

I’ve went on journeys upon journeys, day after day looking up on the Internet reading every book I can purchase on speaking. Confidence. Everything else.

Well – what did I found?

In the end, it was a very special book.

It’s called “The Art of Approaching Women” written by Joseph Matthews.

This man could be the greatest man ever in this world. I give all my life’s deepest gratitude to him, because he taught me the way of life.

Sure, everybody lead a different, unique life. But Joseph Matthews teach people how to live a WINNER’s life.

That was the difference.

As I read his book, “The Art of Approaching” – I felt a tingle in my mind. What have I done wrong in speaking, approaching people, everything, that caused me to have such sucky social strength?

He taught me the way of life, and as I read out loud every each of the words in his book I realized this:

The art of approaching women, in fact, the art of living – is to create GOOD CONNECTION with people.

You don’t have to be someone else when you speak, you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else as you communicate.

You see, I have to confess about my greatest weakness. I am probably the most self-conscious person you know in disguise. Disguise?

It’s disguise because over the years, I have tried to control myself. However, as my free myself to do what I want my self-consciousness will eventually kick in and ruin my day.

Isn’t it paradoxical?

People say being yourself is the best way, isn’t it?

Being yourself makes you the best person ever in this whole wide world.

But it wasn’t so for me.

Once in a few times, my self-consciousness will still kick in and my insecurities will all arise upon this. As my insecurities jumps in, I’ll have my mind so full of thoughts, so full of sometimes, excuses, so full of hidden agendas it’ll SCREW all my conversation, my speech altogether!

I have no idea what I have to speak…

And if I do… I can’t SAY IT OUT!

Do you feel me dude?

My problem is lifetime.

I’m 18 years old this year, and I’ve been experiencing this since young.

I strive hard to be up in front, and although sometimes I do, sometimes I do REAL well, extremely well, there always will be times where I had to work SO HARD for something others don’t have to.

I only wished I could speak well.

If I could speak well, everything in this world would be much happier for me.

Kinda got out of topic, but anyways this message was typed out without editing. Which is the reason why it may touch on my deepest feelings at times and I wouldn’t hesitate typing it down.

Back in speech…

I used to find lots of ways to speak well.

How do I solve my gagging? How do I stop getting tongue-tied? Why the heck in the world can’t I speak what I want even though I have those words CLEARLY stated in my mind.

God, WHY??

I tried so many ways that if I ever told people what I do – they’d think I’m insane. But I’m sincere in writing this message, so I’ll tell you everything I have in heart and mind.

I’ve tried truly focusing on the lips when talking, thinking: “Let the lips do the talking, your brain will go on its own!” – and results was I get so tongue tied after sometime I had to slap my face hoping that it’d cure.

I’ve also tried truly focusing on the tongue, because everything in the world, in fact BIBLE, say control your tongue when you feel like saying something bad. People scold others by saying, “mind your tongue dude”, that and many other examples. Of course, I tried limiting my tongue.

But for Christ’s sake, do you think you can focus so hard on your tongue when speaking? In an instant I can feel as though the content of my speech sucked so much and sometimes – even STILL gag and getting tongue tied I had to slap myself in the face again hoping that it’d cure.

SO MANY TRIES, SO MANY WAYS… NONE WORKED.

EVER.

Keeping cool? Pronouncing words exactly and clearly as it sounds? Putting your tongue further touching the teeth? Backwards it touches the roof of your mouth as you speak? Relaxing everything on my face – including eyes, droop it down? Act like I’m cool? Dude, I’ve tried EVERYTHING. You FEEL me? Sometimes I think I’m just CRAZY.

In the end, lately I discovered something ‘NEW’.

And it may work, but I don’t know.

To make something work, it has got to be a habit.

You can’t think about it all the time.

And this new way I discovered was moving my lower jaw more often down while speaking – causing someone to sound as though he talks like a British.

Exaggeration in speech, that’s the idea.

And it helped a bit. Much better than any possible ways known to man.

At least, me.

Next, I want you from now on, BREATHE IN through your nose everytime before you speak. DO that until you have the habit of DOING SO naturally.

You see, a normal person or professional wouldn’t teach you this, because it’s just plain insane to have such sort of a problem.

But the reality is, there ARE people like this in the world.

I am one of them. One of have severe speech problems and have no solutions to it.

Well, that’s me, Mr Healy and my speech problem, added up with this maybe, minor secret that can help in your life.

I’m writing this message not as a lesson actually, but just an expression of my feelings thinking someone on the other side may get to read it. In real life you’d see me as a very normal, perhaps distinct and special individual. Every word that has been written in this message is out of the flow of my subconscious without editing, so if it offended you please forgive me.

Perhaps some day someone would be able to FULLY solve my greatest, deepest speech problem of getting tongue tied although I’m not lacking in any ways.

Either ways, I don’t know. Just hoping that there will and maybe this little secret I share with you today will help you a lot in the future.

Warmly,

Mr Healy

Effortless Living - Do Less To Achieve More

2007-05-01T03:38:00.001-07:00

The way of effortless living is a paradox of life. The only effort we need to make is the effort to relax. We labor to enter into rest. We strive to let go and relax. The only tension we need to maintain is the least amount necessary to release energy for action. Usually it is the slightest amount we need in order to move effectively.

When we talk about doing, we mean excessive effort which is excessive tension. Excessive tension always leads to inefficiency and mistakes. Effortlessness does not mean no effort but it means effort without struggle. Nondoing is effortlessness. In practicing the way of nondoing something is shed everyday. That something is excessive effort and action. Less and less do we need to do until when nothing is done, nothing is left undone. Our actions are non-acting actions. This is known as “zero effort”, maximum results.

Relaxation involves the ability to live fully but without struggle. The more you relax, the more you flow.

There is no proven relationship between being in a rush and being vocationally successful. Being in a rush has no relationship to getting things done, even though the person who is in a rush may think so. We may not be aware of it, but when we tell ourselves we have to rush in order to succeed, we lie. Highly effective people master the illusion of being chased by time. The more haste you are in, the more mistakes you make.

You can tell how well a tennis player would do on the next point by noting how relaxed his body and face were. He monitors his mental and physical state and works to achieve a quiet mind and an alertly relaxed body. He knows that these are synonymous with concentration and confidence. He knows that moment by moment poise creates the proper conditions for achieving a maximum result with minimum effort. He doesn’t give his desire for the goal greater importance than the process he uses to achieve the goal. He knows that if we keep on thinking about where we want to get to, we lose our ability to be one hundred percent involved with what is happening.

There are four characteristics of effortless performance. First, when we are effortless, we focus more on how we feel inside than on the results we want to achieve. Second, we keep our attention on maintaining an internal state of calm, and not giving way to anxiety. Third, we refuse to lose our composure in the face of external pressures. Instead, we use those pressures of the situation to strengthen our ability to maintain internal balance. Fourth, we connect performance to pleasure, and keep our attention on finding enjoyment in our activities.

We normally use far more effort than necessary to accomplish a thing. God created us with a nature of incredible economy. It is natural for us to do things the least effortful way and not in a way that expends excess energy. We notice this when we observe infants learning to crawl, sit, stand and roll over. They find out exactly what level of strength they require for the movement. They don’t force it. It is all about effectiveness and efficiency so that you can accomplish more yet do less.

There is a direct connection between releasing tension form your body and improving your concentration. The more physically calm you are, the more powerful your concentration is. Mental focus depends on physical relaxation. The more physically relaxed you are, the more you can concentrate and the more effortless you become. Physical relaxation, concentration and effortlessness go together.

True concentration happens when we stop thinking. Thinking creates physical tension and in the moment of concentration we cease to think for awhile and just act. Stop thinking and just act, in the moment when you need to concentrate on what is before you. The true meaning of relaxation is a combination of inner calmness, complete self expression and being present. To stop thinking doesn’t mean we try to shut our thoughts away completely. We may still be thinking but we let our thoughts be in the periphery of our awareness and keep our focus on the thing we are focusing on

When you are effortless, you feel as though what you are doing is happening without you having to make it happen. That’s why you feel effortless. You are experiencing life as though a force is manifesting itself through you and you’re just a channel for that force. True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way. It can’t be gained by interfering.

The experience of effortlessness is sometimes called being “in the zone”. A speaker is not thinking and then speaking. His speaking is his thinking, the words simply flow through him. A person’s running and dancing becomes effortless when the body gets into its own rhythm and takes over. Making love becomes effortless when two people forget about pleasing each other and enter into the current of rising energy. Something is happening but we aren’t making it happen. It is happening by itself and we’re letting it happen. This is the flow of God in us and the situation.

That which is supple lives, that which is stiff dies. Unlike children whose bodies are supple, our bodies have become stiff from years of holding back on self expression and authenticity. Eventually, it becomes impossible to perform even the simplest movement without excessive tension. Our rigidity makes it difficult for us to feel our bodies. Rigidity, tension and loss of sensation go together. The key to being effortless in life then, is to let go and don’t hold back. Allow ourselves to be authentic and to express ourselves completely. The key to effortless action is to do things from the heart.

Authenticity is the ultimate way to success. Instead of fronting like you have the power, the wealth and the status, get on a path such that you really have the power, the wealth and the status. The process of growth and development is one of refining, of getting rid of all the fluff, until you arrive at the authentic being. Your authentic self, is already inside you. It’s just a matter of getting rid of all the fluff and pretense.

7 Deadly Sins of Dating That Most Men Commit

2007-04-21T02:23:00.004-07:00

...not getting much action on the dating scene? ...wondering why it's so
hard for you to score a second date?

I know¡just when you thought you had the game figured out; here you
are again alone on a Saturday night bonding with your TV. No date and
no action¡again!

Don't worry, you're not alone; there is hope for you yet.

Believe it or not, there are several major sins that you should never
commit on a date that most men do. Here's a rundown of the 7 Deadly
Dating Sins that you should never commit.

Deadly Sin #1: The "All About Me" Syndrome

You need to watch yourself on this one. No one knows more about you
than you so it's quite natural to go on and on about who else¡YOU!
...and why not? After all, you are a great guy!

That may be true but she doesn't want to hear about it. As far as you
are concerned, this date is about her. If she wants to know anything
about you, believe me she'll ask.

Your job, especially on the first few dates, is to ask her about her. She
can't wait to tell you why she's the best thing that ever happened to
you. If you talk about yourself too much, you're telling her that she's not
as interesting as you are and that's why you have to be the main
conversation topic. YIKES! Don't expect a second date if you were the
center of attention on the first.

Deadly Sin #2: Misrepresenting Yourself

OK¡I'm sure that this one is fairly self-explanatory. Don't fluff the
package. She's already agreed to go out with you and that's already
saying a lot. You don't need to pretend to be someone you're not.

Think about it! After you've lied about who you are, now you have to
perpetuate that lie by living it or risk her finding out that you're nothing
but a fraud. This type of thing will hamper any relationship¡don't you
agree?

If she doesn't think you are good enough to date, then she's not the
one for you. Remember, it's easier to tell a lie than it is to live one.

Deadly Sin #3: Giving Up Too Much Information (T.M.I.)

Once again, you have to learn when to stop talking. She doesn't need to
know your entire history, especially the parts that include other women
who are not her.

Look, it's one thing to talk about your past in context of the conversation
but quite another to regurgitate your whole history just for the telling.
This will almost certainly kill any mystique about you. You need to leave
some things to her imagination.

This is as much a turn off to a woman as it is when a woman dresses too
skimpily. If you leave her with nothing to look forward to, you will become
boring in a heartbeat. If she's bored of you by the end of the first date,
you will be hard pressed to score a second.

Deadly Sin #4: Promising The World

Remember these words!

It is much better to under-promote and over-deliver than to over-
promote and under-deliver.

Nothing could ruin a budding relationship more quickly than breaking your
word. The moment this happens, she will find it hard to trust you or feel
safe with you. Don't say things you don't mean and mean the things that
you say.

Instead of promising her the moon and the stars, just promise her you
won't settle for mediocrity. You don't need to give her the whole world,
just give her the best of yours.

It's very simple¡be realistic when you make promises. Make sure you
actually intend to fulfill them and whenever possible, surpass her
expectations. Trust me; this will be more than enough to hold her
interest.

Deadly Sin #5: Mr. "Know-it-all"

Nobody likes a Mr. "Know-it-all!" This is magnified by a factor of 100 when
it comes to dating. Women hate men who constantly talk as if they have
the answer to everything.

It's even worse if you start acting as if you know what is best for her.
She will be gone so fast, your head will spin. Knowledge is good but you
must be tactful in how you disperse it, if you disperse it at all. Some
things are better left unsaid!

Besides, who are you to have an opinion on her life? Moreover, what
makes you think your knowledge is the tree of life?

Listen, she may be willing to learn from you but what does she have to
offer if she can't teach you anything. Chances are, you don't know as
much as you think you do anyway, so shut up and listen for a
change¡you might learn something.

Deadly Sin #6: Asking To Go "Dutch"

This is a BIG "NO-NO" even if you're dating Halle Berry. Never ask a
woman to pay for half of the date. If you commit this sin, she will see you
as cheap and classless. She will not be able to get far enough away from
you quickly enough. One female friend of mine actually had this to say
about going "Dutch."

"I'd make the gesture but I'd be horrified if he actually agreed."

Unless you want this to be a strictly platonic relationship, you'd better pay
her way. This may be the 21st century but men are still the ones who
court women and not the other way around¡ever!

I don't care if she makes the gesture¡she's just testing you. No woman
really wants or expects to chip in on a date. As far as she's concerned, it
is her birthright not to pay for a date unless it's your birthday or some
other special occasion (assuming you two are an item).

Let me be blunt about this. Even if she insists on paying, don't accept! If
she persists beyond this point, then she really isn't that into you because
if she were, this would not be an issue.

Deadly Sin #7: Sex On The First Date

I know¡I must be nuts to include this as a sin BUT it is probably the most
deadly sin of them all.

Sure, it's great to score on the first date. You get to put another notch
on your belt but I can almost certainly guarantee that this will be the end
of your courtship. Unless you are just looking for a "one-night stand", NO
sex on the first date is the best policy.

If you want more than a roll in the sack, you can't treat her like a piece of
meat even if she's willing to let you. You have to be strong enough to
say no even if she says yes. You will gain more respect from her in this
moment that you probably will at any other time.

This sole act will tell her what kind of man you are and more importantly
the kind of woman you're seeking. She will be floored by the fact that
you think enough of her to wait.

Once again, if she insists on having sex, go ahead because it's obvious
that she's not that into you. She's just looking for a roll in the sack so
give her one and move on!

Therefore, armed with this information, you should have no trouble on
your next date. Give yourself an honest evaluation. Ask a friend you trust
to give his honest opinion about your dating habits and then take the
necessary steps to clean up your act.

You will see the stellar improvement in the quality of your dates in no
time.
7 Deadly Sins of Dating That Most Men Commit

¡not getting much action on the dating scene? ¡wondering why it's so
hard for you to score a second date?

I know¡just when you thought you had the game figured out; here you
are again alone on a Saturday night bonding with your TV. No date and
no action¡again!

Don't worry, you're not alone; there is hope for you yet.

Believe it or not, there are several major sins that you should never
commit on a date that most men do. Here's a rundown of the 7 Deadly
Dating Sins that you should never commit.

Deadly Sin #1: The "All About Me" Syndrome

You need to watch yourself on this one. No one knows more about you
than you so it's quite natural to go on and on about who else¡YOU!
...and why not? After all, you are a great guy!

That may be true but she doesn't want to hear about it. As far as you
are concerned, this date is about her. If she wants to know anything
about you, believe me she'll ask.

Your job, especially on the first few dates, is to ask her about her. She
can't wait to tell you why she's the best thing that ever happened to
you. If you talk about yourself too much, you're telling her that she's not
as interesting as you are and that's why you have to be the main
conversation topic. YIKES! Don't expect a second date if you were the
center of attention on the first.

Deadly Sin #2: Misrepresenting Yourself

OK¡I'm sure that this one is fairly self-explanatory. Don't fluff the
package. She's already agreed to go out with you and that's already
saying a lot. You don't need to pretend to be someone you're not.

Think about it! After you've lied about who you are, now you have to
perpetuate that lie by living it or risk her finding out that you're nothing
but a fraud. This type of thing will hamper any relationship¡don't you
agree?

If she doesn't think you are good enough to date, then she's not the
one for you. Remember, it's easier to tell a lie than it is to live one.

Deadly Sin #3: Giving Up Too Much Information (T.M.I.)

Once again, you have to learn when to stop talking. She doesn't need to
know your entire history, especially the parts that include other women
who are not her.

Look, it's one thing to talk about your past in context of the conversation
but quite another to regurgitate your whole history just for the telling.
This will almost certainly kill any mystique about you. You need to leave
some things to her imagination.

This is as much a turn off to a woman as it is when a woman dresses too
skimpily. If you leave her with nothing to look forward to, you will become
boring in a heartbeat. If she's bored of you by the end of the first date,
you will be hard pressed to score a second.

Deadly Sin #4: Promising The World

Remember these words!

It is much better to under-promote and over-deliver than to over-
promote and under-deliver.

Nothing could ruin a budding relationship more quickly than breaking your
word. The moment this happens, she will find it hard to trust you or feel
safe with you. Don't say things you don't mean and mean the things that
you say.

Instead of promising her the moon and the stars, just promise her you
won't settle for mediocrity. You don't need to give her the whole world,
just give her the best of yours.

It's very simple¡be realistic when you make promises. Make sure you
actually intend to fulfill them and whenever possible, surpass her
expectations. Trust me; this will be more than enough to hold her
interest.

Deadly Sin #5: Mr. "Know-it-all"

Nobody likes a Mr. "Know-it-all!" This is magnified by a factor of 100 when
it comes to dating. Women hate men who constantly talk as if they have
the answer to everything.

It's even worse if you start acting as if you know what is best for her.
She will be gone so fast, your head will spin. Knowledge is good but you
must be tactful in how you disperse it, if you disperse it at all. Some
things are better left unsaid!

Besides, who are you to have an opinion on her life? Moreover, what
makes you think your knowledge is the tree of life?

Listen, she may be willing to learn from you but what does she have to
offer if she can't teach you anything. Chances are, you don't know as
much as you think you do anyway, so shut up and listen for a
change¡you might learn something.

Deadly Sin #6: Asking To Go "Dutch"

This is a BIG "NO-NO" even if you're dating Halle Berry. Never ask a
woman to pay for half of the date. If you commit this sin, she will see you
as cheap and classless. She will not be able to get far enough away from
you quickly enough. One female friend of mine actually had this to say
about going "Dutch."

"I'd make the gesture but I'd be horrified if he actually agreed."

Unless you want this to be a strictly platonic relationship, you'd better pay
her way. This may be the 21st century but men are still the ones who
court women and not the other way around¡ever!

I don't care if she makes the gesture¡she's just testing you. No woman
really wants or expects to chip in on a date. As far as she's concerned, it
is her birthright not to pay for a date unless it's your birthday or some
other special occasion (assuming you two are an item).

Let me be blunt about this. Even if she insists on paying, don't accept! If
she persists beyond this point, then she really isn't that into you because
if she were, this would not be an issue.

Deadly Sin #7: Sex On The First Date

I know¡I must be nuts to include this as a sin BUT it is probably the most
deadly sin of them all.

Sure, it's great to score on the first date. You get to put another notch
on your belt but I can almost certainly guarantee that this will be the end
of your courtship. Unless you are just looking for a "one-night stand", NO
sex on the first date is the best policy.

If you want more than a roll in the sack, you can't treat her like a piece of
meat even if she's willing to let you. You have to be strong enough to
say no even if she says yes. You will gain more respect from her in this
moment that you probably will at any other time.

This sole act will tell her what kind of man you are and more importantly
the kind of woman you're seeking. She will be floored by the fact that
you think enough of her to wait.

Once again, if she insists on having sex, go ahead because it's obvious
that she's not that into you. She's just looking for a roll in the sack so
give her one and move on!

Therefore, armed with this information, you should have no trouble on
your next date. Give yourself an honest evaluation. Ask a friend you trust
to give his honest opinion about your dating habits and then take the
necessary steps to clean up your act.

Get a Real Job? No Thanks

2007-04-21T02:23:00.003-07:00

A few years ago I had returned home for a few days between a couple of my trips, and during the family supper my older brother asked, “When are you going to settle down and get a real job, and stop traveling around.” My mother insisted that my brother leave me alone and let me enjoy my time home. My thoughts were, and still are, don’t feel bad for me, if you are going to feel bad for anyone feel bad for my older brother who thinks laboring to fulfill someone else’s plan is the right way.

""If you don't set goals for yourself, you are doomed to work to achieve the goals of someone else."" - Brian Tracy

This weekend my Mercedes will arrive, I make almost half my brother’s income on investment income alone, my work makes a difference, I decide when to work which allows me to be a half-time stay at home Dad, I still travel to foreign countries at least three times a year, and most importantly I think life is a pretty darn interesting event. Did you know there are people who say they don’t even know what they would like to do? I was talking with a young lady yesterday who hates her job and wants to quit, but has no idea what she wants to do. I was telling her how I make a decent portion of my income with my websites and how I only sell items I like, which makes work fun. She said she had no idea what she likes, so she couldn’t do that. Come on people, life isn’t meant to be a big struggle.

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. -- Wayne Dyer

There has never been an easier time than now to live an enjoyable life. James Allen's most famous essay ""As a Man Thinketh"" rings with the same truth almost 100 years later as it did the day it was written, because the truth remains... we can attract the life we want using the power of positive thinking. Once you get the positive thinking going, endless ideas and opportunities start flowing your way.

I’m not sure where you are in life. Whether you are completely content or on the verge of collapse, but I can tell you this… “Life can be a whole lot sweeter if you make plans and then nurture them.” If you are feeling nudges, hear an inner voice, or are seeing clues that you may not be on the right path…stop and ask for directions. There are many coaches, myself included, who would love to help you find your true calling.

Dating – 5 Simple Tips To Write Hypnotic Online Profile

2007-04-21T02:23:00.001-07:00

Are you trying to find the man or woman of your dreams? Online dating can help you find your potential date. You need to write a personal ad or a dating profile, which will give you an opportunity to select your soul mate. An online dating ad, which is written clearly is informative and full of good content will fetch you quality responses.

We find certain profiles on online dating sites, which are written spontaneously and they lack creativity. These kind of profiles will lead you to attracting the wrong kind of person. The common mistakes that people make in their dating profiles are mentioned below. Read them carefully and avoid repeating these mistakes.

1. The dating profiles have sentences like “I am a witty person having a great sense of humor” Instead of that you could write something humorous in your profile. Sexual innuendos should be avoided as it gives a wrong impression the first time. Write something romantic instead of writing that your are sexy and flirtatious.

2. Avoid using adjectives like honest, lovable, creative, and imaginative or that you have an above average IQ while describing yourself. Instead mention that you are an artist or a musician etc. It is also important to present yourself in positive manner. You could write that you like reading or mountain climbing or walking by the beach instead of saying that you are bored so you wrote this ad.

3. Show a positive attitude to online dating. Mention that you are interested in meeting new people who are interested and having common interests. Avoid writing that you are interested in the guy who makes you laugh (shows a depressed side of yourself). You are not looking for a clown to make you laugh but you are looking for a Date.

4.Mention your preferences clearly. Don’t write that you are interested in fair complexioned women but maybe if they are dark but attractive you may consider. It is a turn off to both the women.

5. The Ad should reflect your positive outlook and should be informative, hypnotic and rich in content. A well-written profile will always give you success in getting a good response to online dating. Finally a tip on how to write a hypnotic profile. Words like IMAGINE, VISUALIZE, THINK ABOUT IT are hypnotic. These words make people think. Use these words effectively and subtly to encourage people to respond to your profile.

If you follow these five simple steps when writing your dating profile and implement them you will very positively find the soul mate you have been searching. Go ahead and make your online dating a huge success.

Learn today, how to instantly create a subconscious state of
“Hypnotic Confidence” allowing you to approach and seduce, any woman you choose - with total ease and finesse!

"The Secret" and TV: How Watching TV May Help Manifest Violence, Poverty, and General Negativity

2007-04-21T02:22:00.003-07:00

Recently, I had the chance to see "The Secret" at http://thesecret.tv/, which proposed a startling idea: we create our experiences with our thoughts through the "Law of Attraction". If this is true, then the TV could be a serious saboteur of our efforts to attract positive experiences. In fact, the TV could help attract very negative experiences into our lives.

What is the Secret?

The basic premise of "The Secret" is that we all create our experiences through our thoughts. Through the "Law of Attraction", we draw experiences into our lives that match our thoughts. We literally manifest our thoughts into reality. It is a simple and empowering idea.

Unfortunately, there is a catch. If we focus our attention on our problems and the things that we don't want, we create those realities, even though we do not really want them. If, for example, we worry about our debt and the bills we have to pay, we will create more debt, bills, and worry. If we focus on having money and being happy and grateful instead, we will eventually create that reality, at least according to the "Law of Attraction".

If this law is correct, then it has some far-reaching implications for viewers of some of the most popular types of television shows.

Standard TV Diet - Murder, Violence, and Suffering

Consider the standard TV fare that the networks show on Prime Time TV. Dramas, such as "ER", show horrific accidents, suffering, and death. Soaps, like "Desperate Housewives", are full of lying and cheating. Then, of course, there are the "reality TV" shows, like "Survivor", with cutthroat competition and participants ritually banished from the show. Even if the content is high quality, it is usually still negative.

How many times in this past week have you witnessed a murder (even a cartoon one) or an act of violence on TV? How many cheating wives or husbands have you caught on the tube? How many lies and betrayals have you witnessed?

Could watching these negative scenarios on TV begin to attract them into your life? According to the "Law of Attraction", it does not matter whether or not you want these experiences. If you think about them, you will draw these experiences to you.

The News - War, Disaster, and Suffering

When you turn on the news, what do you usually see? Tales of war, disaster, suffering, robbery, fire, rape, riot, or disease are the usual stories. Furthermore, these stories are frequently accompanied by dramatic, emotional language and graphic, disturbing pictures. Newscasters splash the problems in the most disturbing way possible; for example, showing pictures of dead, mutilated babies from the latest conflict.

Newscasters rarely show the joys and triumphs of the world. Even rarer will they show solutions to the problems about which they report. It is important to understand problems in depth in order to envision an effective solution. However, you have to give your energy to the solution, not the problem itself. According to the "Law of Attraction", dwelling on the problem will only make it worse. I would imagine that millions of people all dwelling on a problem at the same time would create a powerful magnet to attract and grow that problem on a large scale.

Talk shows - Gossip and Slander

According to the "Law of Attraction," what you think concerning others can also call those experiences into your reality. If you dwell on the problems of celebrities, like the dramatic break-ups, conflicts, and drug addictions, you may also call similar negative experiences into your life. Plus, critics on shows such as Entertainment Tonight, tend to be exceedingly negative and judgmental in general, whether it’s TomCat's wedding or Madonna's African adoption. Watching such shows is surely not going to help attract abundance and joy into your life.

Sports - Winners vs. Losers

If you are a sports' fan, you may cry foul that I include sports as an impediment to manifestation. However, with professional sports, there is always one constant - losers. No matter what the sport, one of the teams or individuals will always lose. Whenever you watch a professional game on TV, you are watching someone lose.

But 'losing' is a part of life! Cry the fans.

Is it really?

When friends and family get together to play sports - instead of watching them on TV - the game can revolve around having fun, playing, and exercising. In these cases, everyone can win. For example, a dad can praise his daughter for making a great shot and share in her accomplishment, even if they are competing. That is win-win. With professional sports, those aspects of the game are largely lost.

Life can be a win-win game. However, it is difficult to create that reality when you are stuck on the sofa, watching losers.

Commercials - Lack, Need, and Imperfection

Most commercials operate by creating a sense of lack that can only be overcome by purchasing the advertised product. Remember, if you are watching the average amount of 4.5 hours of television per day, you are taking in an average of 50,000 commercials per year. That is 50,000 messages of "I am fat," "I am unloved," "my teeth are not white enough," "I am a failure" and other such non-sense that you are sending out to the Universe every year.

According to the principles of "The Secret", those 50,000 messages would create that negative reality rather effectively. That may be a reality, which marketers would like to manifest. However, it is not a reality everyone else would likely want to manifest.

The Solution - No TV

In short, if you are working to create a better future for yourself and your family, turning off your TV may be the first step to creating the life you want. This may be the secret why many people find that their lives are surprisingly happier and more fulfilling when they give up the television entirely.

However, don't spend too much time worrying about the problems you may have manifested with your TV habits. That might create even more problems! Start focusing on the solution now. Stop watching the negative content on your television set. The easiest way to do this is to just get rid of your TV.

How Breast Enlargements can Improve a Woman's Life

2007-04-21T02:22:00.001-07:00

The dream of every woman is to have large, elevated, firm breasts, but unfortunately few women are born with naturally large breasts. Because women care very much about their looks, sex appeal, and body form, they often become very jealous and depressed if they do not have impressive breasts. Some women don't actually need to have larger breasts, but why wouldn't someone want to increase an already notable bust to unbelievably impressive breasts.

Breast enlargement surgery is expensive, painful, adds ugly markings to the breasts, and is a health threat. Many people wonder, “Is this actually worth it.” In short it is not. Although the breasts increase in size, there are better ways of doing it. Many people need more than one surgery, and doctors can really mess up your valuable breasts even more. Although fewer people have heard of it, and fewer people use them, herbs are one of the best ways to increase ones breast size to larger proportions. There is one lady that reports growing from barely an AA to a huge EE cup in several months. Not only do the breasts grow in size, they are also much firmer, held higher, and are much rounder than before. Unlike an implant, your breasts will look natural, because they are natural. There are many different ways to naturally enhance your breasts including lotions, soap, pills, drinks, which in turn gives you the result of large, elevated, firm breasts that women always dreamed about. Not only does this work for young or middle age women, one grandmother says that her breasts are now larger, firmer, and more rounded than her 21 year old granddaughter. That speaks a lot about the positive effect that herbs can have on your breasts.

There are several different types of herbal treatments that are provided from many different places to help breast enlargement. The most popular ones are pills, lotions, soaps, and creams. Most work for all people, but you should talk with a local sales person before you purchase. They will be glad to help you and they know exactly what will look best on you.

The way that herbal breast enlargers work is that they make the hormones that were used in the breast growth during puberty in the early teen years. As long as you keep using the herbs your breasts will grow. After you stop they may occasionally grow a little bit, but not much. Because this makes the hormones go wild again like during your puberty years, you will probably have some tingling sensations, your breasts feeling tight, and itchy skin, just like when you were in your teens.

How Can Hypnosis Help You To Develop Self-Belief Just With 3 Secrets?

2007-04-21T02:21:00.000-07:00

There are many books written and published on the concept of developing confidence or developing believe in yourself and many read them also, but the efforts made by the writer are worth only if the person who read his book follow the principles mentioned, in his life. If you are reading this article make sure that you abide by the principles that I give and if you cannot do so, I genuinely advice you to not to read this article.

In the language of hypnosis, the main concept of the life-changing principles is the ‘Development of Unshakable Belief in your self.’ Do not read this article unless you are sure that you want to make the use of this to make permanent improvement in your life and your way of living. Consider this as a hypnotic warning.

It is often advisable that, ‘if you intend to do a thing try it to do at your best.’ The best put in efforts fetches you the best outcome. The first prerequisite for doing the things at your best is to have the firm believe in yourself and hypnosis can help you do that. The belief in yourself will give you courage and enable you to do the things in the same way as you intended.

Every person has the prominent level of self-confidence and self-belief. All you need to do is to boost up that causes to access the resources that are already within you. Learn to have the firm grip on your confidence level. With hypnosis, you can put your best foot forward. This is the fact that makes hypnosis more outstanding and special.

1. The hypnosis reveals you the secret cause for being unsuccessful that if avoided you will be successful:

2. The another Hypnotic secret for you;

3. The third Hypnotic secret to be successful:

Remember that you are the human being; you hold the potential to make the things favorable for your self. Learn to make your efforts worth rather than waste or worse. Simply dreaming will never fetch you any result. To make the things work you have to make attempts.

There is no any thing in this world that fetches you the outcome without the proper effort and there is no such thing that will not fetch you any outcome in spite of the efforts made by you. So, work out and experience the difference, you will amaze yourself…

The Entrepreneur's Ultimate Secret

2007-04-16T23:34:00.001-07:00

Being an entrepreneur and running your own business might seem ideal... getting out of the so-called, "rat race" of job employment. If you're already doing that, congrats but read this article first.

The absolute best way to make money as an entrepreneur is to start out by doing the things you enjoy and outsource the things that are necessary but you don't like to do.

Although some people will tell you to chase the money and forget about what you like. After all, business is business, right?

That depends on you.

If your number one motivation is money-- if the sun rises and sets on money in your land... and if the sight of a dollar bills sends you into shivers of ecstasy-- then yes, perhaps for you business is business. If money is your passion, if "buying stuff" is what drives everything you do, then in that case it really doesn't matter what you do... because as long as you're making money, you'll be happy.

Do you identify with that characteristic?

Can you be happy doing anything as long as you're making boatloads of cash?

If not, then read on...

Most people like money, yes. I like money too. I believe it's the same for you as well. Come on, it's a fact and nothing to be ashamed of. But if I really examine why I do what I do today for business, I may find that money isn't the main motivator. "Buying stuff" may not be the main motivator either. Sounds cheesy and corny but I won't spend the time here to convince you that it's the truth.

If you're the type of person who thrives on good feelings when you help people, even if money isn't involved, if you are really passionate about something (cars, quilts, relationship, whatever), if a kind word from a customer would really make your day-- then you may be an entrepreneur today NOT for the purpose of making the green bags. That's good news because you'll love what you're doing.

Yes, I know you're getting into business at least partly if not mainly to make money after all, money buys freedom... the freedom to buy what you want, the freedom to make your own schedule, etc.

However, you don't need to chase the money in order to make loads of money.

What do I mean by that?

Here's something for you to chew on... not everyone who "chases the money" is rich. I bet you've seem them all. And amazingly, not everyone who chose a path related to their passions is poor.

You see, choosing to chase the money is no guarantee that you will make money. In fact, there are no guarantees at all... So why not do something that you actually enjoy?

Exactly.

Now you may be thinking that if it makes money for you-- if you see results, you don't care if you enjoy it or not. Of course, if you're one of those people I described before (where money is your main motivator), then this will probably work for you.

But I bet you've dropped things in your life before even though they were creating the results you wanted.

For instance, have you ever taken up an exercise or diet plan that you didn't like to lose weight?

Perhaps you took up running in the morning. But you hate running. And you're a night owl.

But dang it, you made a promise to yourself that you were going to lose weight and get in shape. So each morning you get up and jog. Several weeks pass and you step on the scale. Yep, you're losing weight. A few more weeks pass and your clothes are fitting better, you don't gasp for air when you run up a flight of stairs, and you feel and look better than you've ever felt.

In short--- you are getting AMAZING results. You are getting exactly what you wanted for your health and body.

And then it starts...

One morning the alarm goes off at zero-dark-thirty and you hit snooze. Your bed is so warm and cozy that the thought of getting up to go jogging makes you feel a little queasy. "No problem, I'll just skip a day," you say to yourself as you settle back in for another hour of sleep.

The next morning you rationalize it again. And the next morning... and so.

Pretty soon you're jogging just once or twice a week. Then once or twice a month. Next thing you know, you jogging in the morning is just a 'loose' memory of something you used to practice.

If you hate jogging and you hate mornings... what made you think that it is possible you keep with a commitment to jog in the morning?

Even the benefits of losing weight and getting in shape aren't enough of a reward to overcome the hatred of jogging.

Do you see what I mean?

There are many things in our lives that we drop even though we're getting results we wanted!

So here is what I'm proposing to you-- start off doing something you enjoy.

Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't do market research, or that you should purposely pick something where you can't even think of a way to make ten bucks but you like it. No, not at all. That's foolish. You're doing a business and a healthy business needs to make profit.

What I'm saying is that you should start entrepreneurship with your passions, your interests, and things that bring you enjoyment.

From that starting point, find a way to make it profitable! Don't put yourself down and drop your passions just because there are other markets out there that are known to be more profitable. All you need is a little creativity to be a successful entrepreneur.

There are people that have taken interests like housecleaning, cooking, vacuuming and the like, and turned those passions into multi-million dollar ventures.

If these people can turn these sorts of interests into full-time professions, why can't you?

I'd much rather do what I like and attract money, then do what I hate and hope I can eventually catch the money.

The bottom line-- don't sacrifice your love for money. Unless your true love IS money it just won't work. Real entrepreneurs do what they do for more than making money. They have a purpose. Some call it, a 'calling'.

Love of the Great Goodbye

2007-04-16T23:33:00.002-07:00

I once attended a powerful retreat facilitated by the extraordinary poet, David Whyte, who wrote The Heart Aroused. He was certainly successful in arousing my heart that particular weekend-probably one of the most extraordinary men I have ever met, and was most definitely someone to whom I never wanted to say good bye…

The Buddhists believe that the root cause of suffering comes from our attachments and that surrender (a constant flow of loving and letting go) is the only way to experience peace and well being. Now this philosophy seems pretty much in alignment with my observations.

In my years of research, study, and exploration, everything seems to point to one conclusion (both in my own life and those of others)-that when we cling to something or a certain outcome of how we think things ought to be, the tighter our grip, the more we will suffer-that our attachment will inevitably cause us great pain-not the person, place, situation, circumstance, event or thing to which we are attached, but the attachment itself.

David Whyte calls us "creatures of the great good bye." No other primate has the cerebral capacity to ponder the future to the extent that we humans can. And with this in mind, the whole being on top of the food chain factor could definitely be seen as something of a disadvantage.

But is it, really? Perhaps it is just how we perceive this perplexing knowing-that-we-are-eventually-going-to-have-to-say-good-bye-thing. Suppose that you could adjust your thinking even just a tiny bit to realize the possibility for something good to happen the next time you take your leave or bid farewell to someone or something you love. I mean if you think about it, saying good-bye is so utterly inevitable that it seems preposterous what we put ourselves through in worrying and anticipating it so.

As "creatures of the great good bye," we are the collective result of our primal heritage, with one notable exception. We can reason. So, the next time you go into a tailspin about having to say good-bye, don't try to figure out what's happening (most likely your primitive brain has initialized your fight or flight mode). Instead, try embracing your fear, sadness, angst, or whatever comes up with compassion for yourself. Just let whatever is happening be there, noticing your resistance and allow it for once. Good. Now use your ability to reason to think of one positive thing that could result because you were able to surrender to the situation in this moment. Just one. Fantastic. You are on your way to conditioning yourself into a whole new way of being-beyond suffering.

Are You Going Through A Change?

2007-04-16T23:33:00.001-07:00

Everyone has gone through Life Transitions: a move, a new job, a new baby, a new partner, divorce, etc. The question is...How do you deal with it? A change in your daily lifestyle can sometimes be overwhelming; even if the change is something you wanted and initiated. People deal with these situations in many different ways; some are healthy (e.g., talking about it) and some ways are not healthy (e.g., shutting down). Talking about your transition and discussing possible paths for you to take will help you make the change in as positive a manner as possible. An important aspect of going through a life transition is understanding where you are in the process of that change.

Psychologist James Prochaska has identified 6 stages that one goes through as part of a self-initiated change in life. They are identified as; precontemplation, contemplation, planning, action, maintenance, & termination. Precontemplation is the stage of denial. This is where “others” feel you need to make a change but you feel a change is not necessary. Contemplation is the stage where you agree you need to make a change and you begin to think seriously about changing. Planning is the stage where you start to do some research as to what it would take to make the change. Action is the stage where you modify your behavior and it requires the greatest commitment of time and energy. Maintenance is the stage where you must continue with your progress and work to prevent relapses. Termination is the stage where you are free from your previous situation. In this stage there is no chance of relapse. However, during the first five stages, the changes are not linear and you don’t necessarily go from one to the next in a smooth manner. Sometimes you relapse and go back a stage. The key here is to learn from your relapse, stick with your plan, and stay motivated to make your change.

Once you identify the stage you are in, you can now create an appropriate strategy to make this change in as positive and productive manor as possible. If you are in the Planning stage, it wouldn’t make sense to start taking action on the change; that would only lead to failure. Again, the key is to know where you are at in the change process and then take the proper steps to make the change as positive as possible.

Spring Cleaning - Inside and Out

2007-04-16T23:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, it’s that time of year-Spring time! Baseball has started, flowers are blooming, and bees are buzzing. For many, a time for Spring Cleaning. A time to shake out the rugs, clean off the dirt of winter and pull those weeds that have taken over the yard. Spring is a time to refresh, organize, de-clutter and air out our homes.

As I was vacuuming behind the TV and dusting under the DVR, I thought: “Wouldn’t it be great if we could transfer this Spring Cleaning ritual into our minds and reap the rewards of a clean and fresh mindset”.

We could start by; Coming out of hibernation….De-clutter our minds of the endless to-do’s and should do’s…shake the dust off our dreams and start living in the moment! Think of the possibilities as the proverbial dust starts to disappear. I invite you to ponder your life from this clean and fresh perspective and ask yourself:; What can you let go of? What has been covered in dust? What have you been putting off? What do you want? And anything else that comes to mind.

From this place of freshness, and new found energy and clarity grab a piece of paper and answer the following questions:

1. What is sparkling again?
2. What is there room for now?
3. What is possible now that you have a clear window to look through?
4. What am I ready to spring into?

Once you have identified the things that you want and possibilities to explore make a plan and Spring into action! Take your first step today.

May your mind, spirit and home shine and sparkle this Spring!

Imus - Victims, Survivors and Bottom Feeders

2007-04-16T23:27:00.001-07:00

FREEDOM!

From Victim To Victorious – How To Become An Instant Survivor!

A FREE Chapter For You – (See below for directions)

Can you take instant control of your emotional state? Yes, especially if you’ve been victimized.

“I didn’t realize how much of my life has been lived as a victim and controlled by others. I had no idea that I could take control of my life so easily. Thank you!”

That was one of the nicer complements I’ve had on my book, “How To Take No For An Answer And Still Succeed.”

We can be victimized by many things; childhood abuse, accidents, illnesses, insults, etc. Some people unknowingly hang on to their victim hood and it can take over all or a part or all of their lives.

The Don Imus Incident

The Don Imus incident and all the attention that erupted is an example of this.

The Imus insult has been compared to rappers who use the same pejoratives as he used in his rand about the Rutgers women’s basketball team. And while much of the themes and lyrics of that kind of music (rap crap) disgusting, Imus directed his comments at a specific group, a team of young women. Women who were excelling, most of whom are black. For that, there was no excuse.

However, the way these young athletes handle this from now on will be instructive. Will they be survivors or victims? There are a lot of people who will profit if they remain victims.

This is a form of modern slavery!

It’s an insidious method of mind control, a mental slavery that is induced through the hypnotic magic of the media and the the grand pontificators who have declared themselves society’s protectors.

By making the most noise and blathering more outrageously than the next one, they are granted their electronic platforms.

From lawyers to the self-appointed leaders of minority groups, they enrich themselves by pushing an agenda of victim hood onto fragile minds who have been harmed by either events or society.

From accidents to Imus, these are the bottom feeders of today’s society. They are the very wealthy bottom feeders!

When one has been damaged, comfort is a great seducer. We can watch these master seducers work their magic right on our television screens. By magnifying the victim they magnify their status as well as their bank accounts.

You Have a Choice

I’m most concerned about the victims our society is creating.

The bottom feeders of our society strengthen and enrich themselves by convincing the victims to burrow in their victimhood. But by simply being aware of this, the victim can instantly change. It’s literally an on the spot decision. Simple? Yes, it is! I want to prove it to you.

That’s why I’m offering the gift of Chapter 7 of “How To Take No For An Answer And Still Succeed.”

This is a subject that I’ve worked with my coaching clients, in seminars and in life. It’s the most important chapter of the book.

You Can Be Whatever You Want To Be

2007-04-12T04:12:00.001-07:00

You can be whatever you want to be!

And exactly here is our challenge. To dare something new we must move out of our comfort zone and that is not easy. We feel comfortable in what we know, we feel safe and secure even if we are in a miserable situation because the devil we know... I am sure you know the proverb. But if we continue to do...

Einstein put this very nicely: "The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results."

To help you move out of your comfort zone visualize what it would be like when you have reached your big dream. Open your boundaries and dream in 3D. Visualize in every little detail, with all 5 senses what life could be like when you are actually there. Close your eyes and daydream and only when you can "see" yourself in your perfect day and have a wide grin on your face and a nice, warm feeling inside, open your eyes and write it all down. Every little bit of it. Where you are, what you feel, who is around you, what you do, is it warm or cold, are you in a city or in the country, is it a special day of celebration...

Make it a very vivid Vision of your perfect day. Imagination is the root of everything we do and by far the most powerful tool to succeed. Unless you can imagine yourself being happier, richer, thinner, fitter, or whatever it is you want to achieve, the chances of you ever getting there are slim.

Your brain needs to 'see' the results of your actions before it will allow you to apply your time and effort on striving for them. But unfortunately, although we are all blessed with imaginative powers as children, those powers very often fade as we enter adulthood. Remember the 95 % confidence we have as children and only 5 % as adolescents.

Regaining your ability to imagine, to picture something in your mind so complete that all your senses can experience it, is possible. It just takes a little bit of practice. The more detailed your written "vision" is the more it will draw you towards actually getting there. Mine gets longer and longer and I feel great when I read it - which you should do frequently.

Jim Rohn says: "If the why is strong enough, the how becomes easy." It is up to you to create your WHY. Get yourself into the feeling. This is the strongest technique to create belief in yourself!!! My clients say it is like giving birth and it really is incredibly motivating.

Honestly how much time do you give to your dreams every day? For most of us it is NONE so how can we expect to ever make them come true?

It is only when your vision is clear that you should ask yourself: What do I have to do to get there? Always start with the end result in mind! That is what most of us do wrong. We start walking before we know exactly where we want to go to. In consequence it is no surprise that we stray off and get discouraged.

Work with the secrets of those who have done the "impossible". Change your programming from "What if I fail?" to "What if I succeed? Then what?" Would that scare you? It shouldn't! You are the Best in whatever field you are passionately involved in. But first you must know exactly what you want. Your vision has to be crystal clear to you.

Dr. Schuler, Edison , Mandela, Trump, Gates and a lot of other extremely successful people all have these 3 things in common.

The first key is that they know exactly what they want and start with the end in mind.

The second key is BELIEF. People who do the impossible believe they can do it and eventually they do!

And the third: They act in spite of their fears; in spite of their doubts and in spite of what their family and friends might tell them.

Always remember: These are your dreams not theirs. This is your life not theirs!

Dare to go further, dare to create new experiences, implant greater ideas. Act in spite of your fears and doubts - again and again. Move on even if you feel uncomfortable. It is in those moments that you grow.

Be ALL YOU CAN BE and that is anything you want to be!

Purposeful Changes - 7 Tips To Expand Your Quality Of Life

2007-04-12T04:10:00.001-07:00

Do you feel like you have little control over how you are living your life? Step back and assess how you would like to live your life with more purpose. Your life is one of constant choices throughout your day, and some of those choices can direct you to feeling more purposeful and authentic in how you spend your time. Do you feel that your time is spent in activities not of your choosing? These tips may help you set boundaries so you have more time, make quality choices based on your values, and become much more selective in how you use your time.

>Tip 1. Make choices based on what you really value and need in your life. Create time priorities to satisfy your unique values that will bring you an awareness of who you are and your fulfillment. You may have to prioritize what activities you participate in based on a rating of importance of certain activities, if you have a number of activities that you value. Or perhaps alternate your choices each month.

>Tip 2. Who you are today may be different than who you were before and your standards should reflect that. Raise your standards by telling those around you how you want to be treated and respected. Be able to inform others about how you want them to speak and act in certain situations. you need to educate your environment.

>Tip 3. Prioritize your time by putting yourself first and finding self nurturing activities. Be your best by setting aside small amounts of time to just be you versus doing what others ask of you. Be aware that we all need different amounts of this time.

>Tip 4. Have a partner or comrade to challenge you to consistently reach for what you specifically want, especially those ideas that may be outside of your present comfort zone. Be willing to stretch a bit to feel excited about and pulled toward your goals.

>Tip 5. Learn more about yourself by joining or forming new community groups that will encourage you to learn new things, find ways to use your skills and strengths, and develop your communication skills. Find a community or two of people who will stretch your imagination.

>Tip 6. Volunteer or sign up for new classes at places that feed your soul and make you come alive, even if it makes little sense to others. This challenge is great for developing you in new directions that may enliven previous interests that you may now have time to pursue.

>Tip 7. Do what you like without guilt. Many folks think they must have their calendars fully scheduled or they will miss out on something. This tip gives you permission to just be in the flow, without adjusting priorities. Be in the flow and know your inner guide is assisting you in finding all that you need at the time.

During an outdoor retreat I facilitated this month a group of explorers clarified and committed to some high priorities for themselves for improving the quality of their lives. The intentions ranged from having fun on a daily basis, to staying focused on a healthy diet, to gaining peace of mind through improved communication and family relationships, to prioritizing on exercise and movement.

Challenge for this week: What is of highest priority that you would like to change for improving your quality of life? I challenge each of you to review what is most important for you to increase your quality of life. Write it down and find someone who will hold you accountable to taking the steps needed to attain it. I’m interested in hearing what happens and how the changes affect you.

Stability and Change - Why People Resist

2007-04-12T04:09:00.002-07:00

Mention the idea of changing your life, and people react in a couple of different ways. Those who value stability tend to be resistant to change and deny, avoid or abhor change.

For many, stability reflects strength and change reflects a certain amount of unpredictability, unfamiliarity and uncertainty. Life looks like an either/or game.

What if it is both? What if what you might see as opposites are actually two sides of the same coin? What if change becomes the vehicle to stability?

Outer pressures turn the heat up: Family time is shrinking while family demands are increasing with elder care, for example. The lines between home and work are blurred with work either going home at night or tele-work options. Mobility and connectivity further mean that a conscious decision for time out must be made since it is way too easy to become addicted to instant news and email. The body, mind and spirit have little time out.

For sometime predictions of a talent crunch have been made alongside the need for employees to be more engaged and to close performance gaps. Regrettably most of the metaphors describing this phenomenal involve war or sports: the talent war or playing defense. At the heart of the matter it is quite simple. People seek meaningful work with the opportunity to grow (not necessarily through career leaps), want to know that they are making a valued and valuable contribution, want to use the talent they don’t know they have, want some control over their lives, and seek some hope for the future. The undercurrent of fear from global warming, noticeable changes in the weather patterns, spark in some, an undercurrent of fear for the future is amplified by wars that can not be won and disease that knows no boundary. This negatively impacts health and wellness.

Internal responses reveal coping strategies: Research shows that 75% of employees carry out personal responsibilities while on the job. Mental and stress related illness is the number one cause of disability. Rates of depression and aggression are on the rise in all ages negatively impacting productivity at work and home. Correspondingly, health care expenses are on the rise. The importance of balancing a full private life with work is more important than money and is one of the leading factors for why employees stay and why they leave companies. Substance abuse is increasing along with the various faces of addiction. Information overload creates overwhelm not just from the printed and spoken word but also from electro-magnetic interference and emotional sensitivity.

So why do people resist?

Interestingly, addiction, depression, aggression are all ways to block personal growth yet growth is the very solution to the pressures. Growth means change and you can not change what you can not see. The pressure hose is forcing change in some aspect of your relationship with you for the benefit of all. Resistance comes from seeing the source of the pressure as solely external. Personal growth, especially self-actualization, becomes the vehicle to achieve greater stability by strengthening your ability to ride the waves. The question then becomes how to merge these two concepts of change and stability into a deeper understanding of how to lead your life.

It starts with knowing that as you understand and improve your relationship with yourself you change your relationship with the outer world.

1. Notice when there are cracks in your outer world. Cracks in your outer world mark places where the pressure has built up on the inside to the point where you have to pay attention. Dissatisfaction and flat feelings are also signals. Rather than avoiding, denying or resisting you walk toward the source of the conflict within to see what can be learned.
2. Ask yourself what emotional need have you been ignoring, or not facing fully. Face that place of raw truth so you can truly understand what is at the deeper heart of the matter. The combination of traits likely to be found in those who develop cancer, the ‘Type C’ personality, is described as being extremely cooperative, patient, passive, accepting, and lacking assertiveness. Repression of emotion suppresses the immune system.
3. Observe what strategies you have adopted to cope with the pressures you are experiencing. Understand which ones are supportive and which ones have served their purpose and now must be released. Note any addictive patterns. Addictions mark places where instead of loving yourself, you channel your need into the instant and repetitive gratification that each of the addictive behaviors promise to deliver.
4. Break the pattern of specific habits that no longer help your emotional health. The simplest one imaginable for those 49% of Americans who know they watch too much television, is to start with breaking the pattern of using the television as a substitute for a babysitter, dinner conversation, or something to do. Breaking the pattern means identifying alternate ways to meet your need. The minute you start to see alternatives, you start taking charge and move toward hope.

Your Personality Is Written On Your Face

2007-04-12T04:09:00.001-07:00

Face reading! Is it true?

Whatever you try to hide, is written on your face. Yes, it's true, it's not some kind of magic, it has always been there, but you are the one who did lack the required knowledge. Statistical studies showed that there is a strong connection between face features and personality; you may have noticed that people who look alike tend to behave the same or at least have some common behaviour.

How accurate is face reading When strong statistical research was made the result was that 68 personality traits can be identified from the face features with a high accuracy, up to 70%. And so was the development of the science, face reading.

Face reading reverse effect What's more about face reading is that the personality/looks relation is believed to be reversible, that is if you changed your personality your looks may differ over the years, and don't get shocked, you already saw this before, ever saw a couple after years of marriage starting to look like each other? That is because their personalities changed too and was reflected on their looks. After all the mind body and soul are not isolated, they are one thing a change in one of them be reflected in the others somehow.

Lip Size and personality

Big lips: The person with big lips tend to be very talkative, you can hardly find him silent, he likes to talk a lot and tell stories, he provides a very good company when in a group but if not accompanied with good listeners, people may end up frustrated and nervous of his continues talking. When you want to ask for directions on the street, pick someone with big lips because he will give you full detail on how and where to go.

Small lips: The person with small lips tends to be less talkative. He tends to have his private life separated from others and may hide his internal emotions and feelings. He can also keep secrets for years, unlike the big lip guy who can hardly hold a secret!! Unless having some strong influencing force like religion to hold him from spreading these secrets. This person may be very cautious and not an adventure lover.

Seven Easy Steps to Improve Your Concentration Powers

2007-04-12T04:08:00.000-07:00

If you have the willpower you can easily learn the skill of mastering the power of concentration very quickly.

You've heard the saying," If there is a will, there is a way" the same holds true with concentration. Diane Sawyer is a very popular and well-known television news correspondent. When Diane was once asked about what has lead to her professional success, she had only one answer. That answer was being able to paying attention.

So the question still remains, "How do you learn to maintain your focus and enhance your concentration?"

The list below is helpful suggestions to improve your ability to concentrate in the most effective way possible. These tips apply whether you are at school, an important business meeting, at your office busy with work, or if you are just trying to finish a specific project.

1. Do five more

You are either one of two types of persons in this world. Either you know how to go through and eliminate frustration or you are the type that only wishes they are able to work through it.

So try to concentrate and focus in doing an additional five more things. This type of mantra is best used when you feel like giving up.

An example might be if you are reading or writing and you no longer want to continue to read or write, push yourself to do just five more pages. Complete five more math questions or if you are exercising add and extra five minutes on the treadmill. Remember that athletes build their own physical physiques by pushing themselves to the point of exhaustion, that also helps to develop mental stamina.

2. Take one step at a time

There may be times when you feel like you are a scatterbrain because your mind is filled with many ideas. Controlling your brain is the key.

Do not worrying about lots of matters, prioritize tasks and do only those that are needed.

For instance, you cannot help but think of your mounting bill problems and this causes you to quit focusing on your presentation that needs to be done in five minutes. Tell yourself that after the presentation you can then focus on ways to pay off your bills. This gives your mind closure and allows you to focus completely on the presentation.

3. Get tunnel vision

You can actually cup your hands around your eyes and this could serve as a mechanism to tell your mind to stay on task.

Case in point: you are in a room and you need to study but there are many distractions preventing you from concentrating. Cupping your hands around your eyes will help your brain to remember to focus and keep it on task.

4. Keep a notepad handy

That way when a thought pops up and distracts your focus, you can write down the thought immediately.

By writing it down you effectively get the thought out of your mind. Now you will focus on the job that you need to accomplish at the moment.

5. Take a break

You are not a machine. You may need to take a break to be able to effectively focus on the job that you have to do.

You can mange the job more effectively by using breaks to break your tasks it to smaller parts. Try taking a walk outside or go out for lunch.

6. Record your start and end time

When doing work, try to record the time you started and the time that you loss focus.

This helps you know how much time you actually spent doing work and when you began losing your concentration. Being aware of this leads to understanding.

7. Mix up your activities

It is wise to change the activities you do so that you keep your mind alert and not bored.

A bored mind is not completely on its game and will wander.

All in all, these activities and suggestions should be practiced regularly to help you to be able to focus and concentrate on the things that really matter most to you.

Finding Time by Taming Common Time Wasters - 5 Tips

2007-03-26T05:13:00.001-07:00

Finding time and staying on track should not be so hard, right? You have your eye out for the really big distractions. But maybe it’s the small time wasters that throw you off.

Common Time Wasters:

1. You plan to go to bed early, but there is an exciting basketball game on TV. The next thing you know, it’s the end of double overtime and you are in bed much later than you had planned.

2. You are going to the gym before work but check your home e-mail before heading out the door. You get caught up in reading and responding, and run out of time.

3. You are on your way to an important meeting in an unfamiliar area. You pull over at the sight of an inviting restaurant to order a cup of coffee, decide to call a friend while waiting, and are late for your meeting.

What Do These 3 Scenarios Have In Common?

1. Your focus shifted and you tried to fit a new activity into your schedule.

2. You probably thought you were being flexible and going with the flow.

3. You may have felt victimized by the consequence.

4. You have undermined your trust in yourself to follow through on your plans.

Important Distinction: Being flexible and “going with the flow” are NOT the same!

In each of these examples, being flexible would mean making a conscious choice to stay on course or to change it. When you do that, you are recognizing and mindfully navigating the choices that your day presents. This is a very empowering distinction to make for yourself!

5 Tips for Taming These Time Wasters

1. Make an effective To-Do List and keep it nearby for reference. This is the course you have committed to for the day. When you are tempted to change your plans, ask yourself, "What goal am I putting at risk?"

2. Weigh the consequences of putting your prior plans at risk before coming to a decision.

3. Make a list of your own particular time wasters, and notice what feelings precede an impulsive choice that wastes your time. Are you feeling anxious, bored, or angry? What is an effective way to resolve what is bothering you without becoming diverted from your plans?

4. Schedule a specific time every day for spontaneous pleasure. The more consistently you enjoy this special portion of your day, the easier it will be to reject impulsive choices.

5. If you genuinely value flexibility, make a list of situations in which you wish to 'bend your schedule' – such as helping a friend in need, extra time with your child, etc. and create buffer time into your day to accommodate these events.

Consider your options the next time a temptation crosses your path. Take a deep breath, affirm what you value and have planned, and make a conscious decision. The choice is yours... and each time you make it, you are finding time!

Adopting Effective Time Management Habits And Tips Are Keys To Success

2007-03-26T05:12:00.000-07:00

As more and more people are getting into a hectic lifestyle, a need to have a good time management techniques that built-in part of your life, you have to follow some simple requirements. You no longer have the luxury to waste valuable time in your day.

We can’t control the way time is. We can’t make it less or more. However, we can control the way we handle the spare moments in our day. We can make changes on how we use our time, and that can benefit us if we are able to get more done in one day.

Following simple time management techniques can help you get more out of life. You can pay attention to your home life, work and appointments without ignoring any one of them. It all comes down to your time management technique.

However, to adopt effective time management habits there are some things you should be doing. To begin with, you will need to use time management tools. It does not matter if you are using a paper-based to-do list system, a day timer or a complicated software program.

Step #1 - Physically managing your time

The first step to physically managing your time is to know where the time is going. You can plan how you are going to spend your time in the future because work will be done earlier. There are many different ways to set this up quickly.

What are the useful tips for effective time management

It does not matter how you keep track of everything. Just make sure you figure out some way to physically manage your time. This way you know how you are going to spend your time. You should make sure you prioritize with these tasks.

Put all of the projects you have to have done on the top of the list. The things that can wait can go on the bottom of the list. Make sure you know out of all your tasks which ones you have to accomplish. Then set the goal to how far you have to get on the list for each day.

What to do if running a single person business entity?

If your business is a one-man show, change things and hire someone to take over some of the workload for you. You should always have at least one other person to take over some of the workload and make things easier for you. Most probably you can offload a lot of the repetitive, dull work of managing the daily routine of a business to other people – that way you can schedule your time in other forms for other projects.

Good, effective time management can help you to get the most out of your business. If you do combine with someone to help with the load, make sure they understand you make all the rules and schedules (that is, don’t turn over the business to them).

With proper and effective time management, you need to establish a routine and stick to it as much as you possibly can. While things will happen to get in your way, you’ll be more productive if you can follow the routine most of the time.

This way people get to know what your time frames are and this makes it easier for them to help you do what you need to get done. Another part of making sure that you actually get things done is to get in the habit of setting (and meeting) time limits for the tasks needing to be completed.

How to eliminate activities that waste time?

Reading and answering e-mail can consume a big portion of your day. Make sure you only allow a certain amount of time for checking the mail, and then ensure that you stick to that schedule.

What about talking on the phone?

If you know you are wasting too much time chatting on the Internet with people who interrupt you, make it so no one can contact you during certain hours. This way you won’t be wasting your time and will be practicing effective time management.

Another good (or bad) time-waster is “looking for information”. You need to be organized to have effective time management. You need to be able to have the files or information you need at your fingertips.

Make sure you set your system up so everything falls in an orderly fashion. This way you can always find something in a hurry. This will help you to speed up the progress of your project or day.

If you are stuck in an office waiting, don’t waste your time. Always bring a pad of paper and a pen if you can. At the very least, you can organize your day by writing down your plans.

If it is something else you can take with you for a project, it’s even better. You can control your life, but you can’t control time. Get organized today and use effective time management to meet your life goals.

I desire to thank you for visiting. Go up before and look around to discover other helpful tips and information.

Even though, you may now know how to adopt effective time management habits and tips to be a successful person, but all words no actions is simply does not make your goals come true.

Take action now is the most right thing to do if you want you goals realized. Without an effective and proper time management system, there will not be much goal-oriented lifestyle to hope for.

Understanding the fact that an effective program for time management habit may be easy to follow and implement and now allowing you to side-track is really allowing you to enjoy your life once again. So, please do not wait any longer before giving another excuse to realize your goals again.

Where To Look For Practical and Useful Effective Time Management Skills and Tips?

2007-03-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

At many time, people are often asked what they would change about themselves, they often procrastinate too often and therefore never seem to do as good of a job on a project as they would have liked.

What is procrastination?

Procrastination is a very common problem. It is characterized by putting off large projects or tasks until the last possible second therefore not completing the task or just rushing through it to get it done. This can affect everything from one’s performance at work, to a student’s grades in school. However, there are ways to end procrastination, and therefore improve one’s time management skills.

How effective is this type of skills?

Having this type of skills means that you know how to utilize your time wisely. When you can have a list of tasks for a day and accomplish them all in the established time frame, you know that your time management skills are sharp.

However, not everyone has this skills. When the skills are not utilized or are missing, we can see for ourselves the problems that it causes. Things are not done on time and there is time not accounted for.

To make a wasted day useful, we can often feel the impact emotionally as well as practically. It does not make us feel good to know we wasted our day away when we had important tasks to be completed.

To have an effective skills, you have to have a day planner.

You have to know what things in your life you were doing to waste time, and eliminate them. Once you have this taken care of, you can go on to the next step. This is to start planning your day.

Stick to some basic rules (and common sense) with planning. Don’t plan over 168 hours of your week (or forget to plan for sleeping and other necessary activities) and be realistic with the goals you set for yourself. If you know it takes 20 minutes to do a project, don’t put down 15 minutes. This is not effective time management process.

What did employers are looking for in their employees?

Employers like to see people who have good, effective skills in their lives. If time management is not used in a business, that business will lose profits. Losing profits is not what the boss has in mind.

Not to mention that without the use of your effective time managing skills, your boss will think you are lazy in the work force. When you use time management effectively, you are able to see what could be helped in the situation of wasting time. However, effective time managing skills require you to be disciplined.

What type of life are you looking for?

If you want to see your life become more rewarding and fulfilling, effective time management skills are a must. However, to successfully adopt these skills you will need to follow the plans you set for yourself each day.

The key here is to learn how to convert your wasteful habits into positive ones – you will have to do it one step at a time. It is not hard to develop these skills but the process takes time – and since time is already scarce, it is best if you get started now.

If your wasted time is eliminated, so is the stress of the deadlines. You will find your work being noticed in a positive way and that you will have a lot more time for achieving your life goals.

Even though, you may now know how to adopt effective time managing kills and tips, but all words no actions is simply does not make your goals come true.

Take action now is the most right thing to do if you want you goals realized. Without an effective and good time management system, there will not be much goal-oriented lifestyle to hope for.

Understanding the fact that a good skills may be easy to follow and implement and now allowing you to side-track is really allowing you to enjoy your life once again. So, please do not wait any longer before giving another excuse to realize your goals again.

How To Use Good Good Employee Time Management Techniques and Tricks?

2007-03-26T05:10:00.001-07:00

Being a business owner, you want your employees to do the best they can with their on-the-job performance. Setting up a plan of action or a set of goals with time management at work can be a real benefit to the work environment.

Work performance, when good, will bring in more profits. Your team will get more done in the process of your incorporation time management at work. All employees should work at managing their time more wisely. Setting the scene to do so will improve the quality of your business.

This should help you to share the problems you face in your business operations. This will help you to open up some of your own time. The problem is, you are sitting there looking over information about your profits and you become concerned.

How to see more value for your employees?

You want to see more value for the money that you are paying your employee(s). If you’ve ever had such a thought, then it is time to start worker time management programs. You can’t assume that this is something they already know. It’s a goal setting strategy that you have to incorporate in their work schedules.

How to help your workers?

One helpful way for your employees to learn about employee time management by going through a training course. Set aside one night for a mandatory meeting and either you or a person who knows about time management can teach them how to effectively use their time. Through the course of the discussion, the employee can bring up things about the business they feel is a time waster. You can then correct this problem for them, allowing them to free up some of their time to be more productive.

Once the problems are fixed that interfere with good time management, it is time to set up a schedule. You or all the employees can talk about how much time they realistically need for a project.

This will help you to do your scheduling better. This will take more of the load off them, and will also show you if you need more than one employee! This will be based on the amount of projects you have, and the amount of time it takes to complete a project you give. One thing you have to remember is you can’t change the amount of time in a day.

How to implement your worker time management techniques and tricks?

You need to be organized when you are dealing with time management. Setting up projects at the same time every day will help gear your employee up for good program. Once your business starts using the program, things will run more smoothly. You will also see more profits coming into the business with the good program. The most important factor in all of this is being realistic with you expectations and with the goals you set for your employees.

So long as everyone is honest about the timing for a project, the program will work for you. It will show you how well the performance in the business is flowing. Good employee time management is essential, as long as you implement it gradually and allow your employees to experience the benefits instead of thrusting it on them.

As a business owner, you may now know how to implement a good employee time management techniques and tricks, however, all talking and no actions does not really bring your business to greater heights.

Take action now is the most right thing to do if you want you goals realized.

Without an effective and proper time management system, there will not be much goal-oriented lifestyle to hope for.

How To Use Good Good Employee Time Management Techniques and Tricks?

2007-03-26T05:10:00.000-07:00

Increase Productivity With The Pareto Principle

2007-03-26T05:08:00.000-07:00

Using the 80/20 Rule increases effectiveness and productivity. By noticing the applications of the 80/20 Rule, then acting on such observations, you will enhance the results you produce at work, and in your personal life.

Vilfredo Pareto (1848-1923) was an Italian economist who established what is now known as the Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 Rule. In 1906, Pareto observed that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the population. Later, he discovered that the Pareto Principle was valid in other parts of his life. While gardening, for example, Pareto observed that 80% of the peas in his garden were produced by 20% of the peapods.

The exact values of 80% and 20% are not important. What is important is to understand is the imbalance. In any situation, there are usually a few factors whose influence far surpasses the importance of the other factors. The effect of this imbalance is that a substantial percent of the results of a given process or system can be attributed to a much smaller percentage of all the possible causes.

So how does this statistical principle apply to us? The Pareto Principle is present in many aspect of our lives, both personally, and in the workplace. By becoming more aware of its presence, we can use the 80/20 Rule as an analytical tool to increase effectiveness and productivity.

Here are a few ways to practically apply the 80/20 Rule in your business:

Business profitability. According to the Pareto Principle, 80% of a company’s profits are generated by 20% of its customers. By identifying and ranking customers in order of profitability, you can then focus your sales efforts on these vital few customers.

Salespeople. About 80% of a company’s revenue will be generated by the top 20% of its salespeople. This information is quite helpful in determining compensation, and also in determining the focus of sales management.

Advertising. Approximately 80% of the results of an ad campaign will be produced by 20% of the advertising. By focusing on the effectiveness of ads, a great deal of advertising could be eliminated, and those funds committed to the advertising that is producing the desired results.

The 80/20 Rule can be applied to your personal life, as well:

Personal Productivity. 80% of your time is currently spent on trivial activities. What are the 20% of your activities that are producing 80% of your results? Focus only on these activities, and either discontinue or delegate all other activities.

Happiness. What are the 20% of your activities that provide 80% of your pleasure? Whatever your answer, strive to increase the frequency of these activities.

Relationships. What activities create the most desired results in your relationships? Once you identify these activities, shift your focus so that you are concentrating on these vital few activities.

Health. 80% of your health is produced by 20% of the foods you’re eating. Try to consume more vegetables, for example, and less fats and sugars.

The 80/20 Rule can be applied to many areas of your life. What other examples of the Pareto Principle are showing up for you? By noticing the applications of this principle, then acting on such observations, you will enhance the results you produce at work, and in your personal life.

Overcoming Procrastination - Pressing Past Your Fears

2007-03-22T01:53:00.001-07:00

"Learn to see failure as a stepping stone to your personal progress." Colleen Kettenhofen

Many of us procrastinate doing something for many reasons. Sometimes it's a result of perfectionism. We reason that if we can't do it perfectly, maybe we shouldn't do it at all. Or, we procrastinate because something is unpleasant. We just don't want to do it.

We also procrastinate because of deep seated fears. Unfounded fears mind you, but fears nonetheless. For example, what if we do that thing and we fail? We can learn from our mistakes if we'll look at them from a new perspective. Adversity arms us with increased knowledge, ability, and experience. Not to mention increased self-confidence because we overcame the perceived challenge. Yes, the key word here is "perceived." It's all in how we look at it. One person's passion is another's peril.

1) Forget motivation. Just do it. It sounds a bit harsh, but sometimes we just have to do it. Get started on that task we don't want to do. Because if we wait until we're motivated, that day never comes. There are certain things we simply will never want to do. Whether it's cleaning the garage, clearing clutter from a closet, or completing a report.

2) In overcoming procrastination, all the motivational hullabaloo and psychobabble won't always work. Face your fears. What do you need to change? What part of YOU do you need to change? The only way out of fear is to go through it.

3) Take action. Get moving. Don't wait another day. The future is now. Whatever you do, don't stew. As the saying goes, worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due. Ever notice that once you get started on a task, after a while you're on a roll? For example, you say to yourself, "I'm going to work on this project for half an hour, then, if I want to stop I can."

4) The hardest part of overcoming procrastination is getting started. Try an experiment. Tell yourself you will work on that thing for just twenty minutes. After that, don't stop if you feel like continuing. Press through until you've finished. See if you don't feel better.

5) Think about how good you'll feel when it's done. See if this sounds familiar: Consider a time when you've procrastinated doing something. All the while you're working on a fun task instead. But in the back of your mind, you're thinking about what you should be doing. And it ruins all the fun!

Once you complete the task you'd procrastinated, you feel so much better, lighter and happier. You're saying to yourself, "If only I'd completed this sooner. I would have been so much better off!" Sound familiar? Been there, done that. In overcoming procrastination, think AHEAD of time how much better you'll feel just getting it done. You'll feel a surge of energy and self-esteem.

6) Don't take failure personally. Don't internalize it. So, what if you finally do that thing and it doesn't go as planned? See it as a learning experience. See your setback as temporary, not as a permanent fatal flaw. Remember, it's our response that determines if we will keep moving forward or give up.

7) Avoid blaming. Let go the mistake but don't lose the lesson. If we are always looking for outside circumstances or someone else to blame, we're not moving forward. Don't be a blamer. You know these people. Maybe someone you work or live with. They're so focused on blaming. They never learn the lesson to move them toward success.

8) Adversity creates maturity. Overcoming adversity builds strength and character. It shifts our priorities and changes our perspective. Petty annoyances don't matter as much. For example, several years ago in South Carolina, I delivered a keynote speech to cancer survivors and their relatives. I had them break into groups and share what they'd learned from a cancer diagnosis. Here were some phrases I heard many times over: "I've learned not to sweat the small stuff. I now know what matters. My relationships have improved. I have a greater appreciation for nature."

9) Find mentors. Model yourself after people you admire. What steps have they taken in overcoming procrastination, facing their fears, and achieving success? See if you can talk with them. Heed their advice. Listening to others share how they've overcome adversity is a huge motivator. You realize you're not alone. Don't isolate. Don't try to do it all on your own. Isolation is the killer of dreams. Take it a step at a time. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

For those of you who like control (you know who you are!) and tend to do everything on your own, here is a quote by Joyce Meyer: In her book "Woman to Woman," she writes, "If you are struggling with something in your life, ask yourself honestly if you are putting your faith in God, believing that His grace will meet the need, or if you are relying on your own abilities and leaving Him out of the loop?"

Twice, when I picked up her book, it happened to open to the page with that quote. My eyes fell on the words. I don't think it was by accident. I think it was for me. And I think it was for me to share with you.

And How Are You Doing

2007-03-22T01:52:00.001-07:00

Sometimes we fail to stop and ask ourselves that simple yet important question. Our lives are cluttered with so many responsibilities as we struggle to keep up with life busy demands making us unaware of our very own well being. We find ourselves caught up in society pressures of being the perfect husband, the perfect wife, father mother, boss, employee and the list goes on and on.....

We take on the superman or superwoman role of I can do everything and come out on top not realizing the damage we are doing to ourselves not only physical, but mentally as well. When was the last time you took a moment to be the perfect you? Have you taken the time out to get enough rest, eat healthier, exercise, visit your doctor or gone to a spa? When was the last time you took a day off to do what you wanted to do or better yet, nothing at all?

When was the last time you read a good book or watch one of your favorite old movies? When was the last time you took a long walk and listen to your walkman? When was the last time you took a long drive and it wasn't in busy traffic on your way to work? When was the last time you took a much need vacation? Finally, distressing and taking the time to relax is an equal part of becoming the perfect you. Now I ask you again, and how are you doing?

Are You a Comic?

2007-03-22T01:51:00.000-07:00

Are You a Comedian?

Do you get insulted when someone calls you a clown?

The New York Times Science department did a major article on the power of Funny, March 13, 2007. We suggest you Google it only if you want to live longer, be healthy, and maybe discover how to heal your mind and body.

If you know how to make someone smile, laugh or giggle, you are worth your weight in gold. It is uncommon knowledge that a simple smile excites your immune systems (natural killer, bone marrow, and thymus), leading to healing, improved health and long-life.

Ever hear of leukocytes, phagocytes, (macrophages) and lymphocytes?

These are not five-dollar words to show what you do not know; the author does not know ten-billion bits of knowledge. Google these guys and discover how your non-conscious body manufactures these disease-fighters to chew-up your enemy bacteria, viruses and toxins 24/7 for your survival and self-preservation.

One more once, we never forget someone who can make us smile, laugh or giggle like a kid. They produce in both themselves and the listener, a dose of endorphins (pleasure hormones), and pump up our electrical vibrational frequency. Who among us does not need Good Vibes instead of stress?

DNA

You cannot avoid paying taxes or dying right? Your DNA comes with two built-in commandments (algorithms) for life: actively avoid pain, and permanently seek out personal pleasure. Have you intentionally smiled today?

I just found out our DNA is run by five nucleotides that store and transport genetic information. Discovered by Watson-Crick who got the Nobel in 1962 for it, they are Cytosine, Guanine, Adenine, Thymine and Uracil. You know your computer programming is digital and works on Xs and Os; now know your DNA and RNA work because of these five elements. The Vital 20% want to know.

So What

How can you help yourself live up to ten-years longer, in good health, with the power to heal your own pain?

Will you choose to remember a French neurologist named Guillaume Duchenne who gave his name to genuine, real, and authentic smiles. He did his most important work in 1842, and was cited by Darwin for great scientific research. Today Duchenne is cited by scientist Paul Ekman as the father of the science of facial expression, emotion and deception, a monumental part of body language.

Here is what professor Duchenne handed down: smiles result from true happiness, not a phony grin; they utilize the muscles of the mouth and those of the eyes. The real deal is called a Duchenne Smile, while phony deceptive facial expressions are called Pan-Am Smiles.

If you relax and pay attention to others, your Reptilian Complex and Limbic System, through your right-brain intuition, can trigger you which person is the genuine article and who is the phony-baloney. Would it help you in negotiations and relationships to be able to spot the liars and even terrorists?

The Cause of Negative Emotions

If you knew you were weak in one area of your career and personal relationships, would you have the nerve to face up to it, and make the appropriate changes?

There are three areas to examine: do you feel worthy? Are you feeling protected? And, today, this minute, are you feeling lovable? If anyone of the three are out of sync, you lose control to your emotions and instincts of fight-or-flight.

Most of us are either up to 75% externally-driven and people can push our buttons (amgydala hijacking), or about 75% internally-driven, and we define our reactions by our neocortex and rein-in our limbic system (emotions) and reptilian complex (instincts).

The third approach is a positive combination of 66% internally-run, and 34% externally aware of the needs of others. You decide which brain coding is best for your success, empathy, independence or interdependence. You can teach yourself.

Emotional Freedom Techniques

We suggest you Google Gary Craig and Roger Callahan and discover the major breakthrough in overcoming human negative emotions. These two have a track record to suggest a controversial and outrageous new approach to controlling our negative feelings, and improving our health by accelerated healing.

Both believe the underlining cause of all negative emotions (chronic stress, depression and panic) is an imbalance within your body and its electrical energy systems. For a century the establishment has believed in a chemical imbalance theory.

The normal professionals who advocate discovering the cause of mental agitation through various forms of psychoanalysis, average up to ten-years of treatment for a healing. Emotional Freedom Techniques appear to help the mind and body heal itself in a maximum of days or weeks. You decide if it is too good to be true.

Consider this: are you familiar with electricity or do you know about it exclusively through its results? Ever see the electricity running your computer or TV? You believe in the power of video because you see the results in moving pictures and the sound of voices, right? Sometimes second-hand knowledge works too.

The human brain and body is based on a lousy 10 watts of electricity. Your brainwave rhythms are measured by an EEG (Electroencephalograph), in cycles per second; and your heart by an EKG (Electrocardiogram) to measure your heartbeat. Are we really born as cyborgs who operate on a small dose of electricity?

For the Vital 20% Only

You might want to know more about human Polarity, Electromagnetism, ElectroChemical activity, and Vibrational Frequency. The point is, Homo sapiens live or die based on the tiny 10 watts of electricity neuroscientists know very little about.

The NY Times Article

The essence of John Tierney on humor is that laughing has little to do with humor, it is all about our limbic system (emotions) and reptilian complex (instinct). Those two independent brains use laughing for your survival and self-preservation.

It aint got nothing to do with cognitive brilliance and being an intellectual wit. The secret is to get along, you go along. Laughter is a social response to other folks.

The eye-specialists said I got Cadillacs in my both eyes; my son said I should go to Mr. Goodwrench for my operation.

The best work on laughter is being done at Washington State University, by two professors, Robert R. Provine and Jaak Panksepp. They see it early on as learning to play and later to cooperate with each other in the hunt. Teamwork is in our genes.

The juice for smiling, laughing and giggling is part of the instincts of hierarchy and ritual. You know how to smile at a pretty girl and laugh at the dumb jokes of your boss. Finally, laughter survives because it makes you feel good to experience the protection of your social group. When you laugh with others, you are conditioning yourself not to fight or kill them later. That is quite cool.

Endwords

Can you and should you force yourself to smile, laugh and giggle at least once a day?

Answer: only if you want to live up to ten years longer, heal your pains and improve the function of your immune systems for prolonged health. Are you being a phony? Nyet, you are using the latest neuroscience for personal survival and self-preservation. Remember, it is all in your eye-muscles and respecting your pecking-order.

Why Women Sabotage Relationships

2007-03-22T01:48:00.002-07:00

Are you feeling frustrated with your relationships? Do you want a loving partner and seem to be unsuccessful in reaching your goal?

If you answered "yes" to either question, you may be sabotaging your efforts. As a Marriage, Family Therapist, I helped many clients, through a process I developed called HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation), get in touch with their negative, self-defeating thoughts and change them to positive ones. Since beliefs are magnetic, they were then able to attract what they wanted.

The following are 20 unconscious reasons why you may be pushing away the relationship you desire and deserve, an example, and a positive thought to turn the negative belief into a positive one. If you recognize a negative thought is one of yours, then first imagine that you are deleting (erasing) it from your mind, and then say and write the positive thought. Keep repeating the affirmation until it becomes part of your automatic thinking.

1) I will get hurt if I am vulnerable. (Her first boyfriend broke off with her in high school.)

I am being vulnerable and I am safe because I believe that I am okay and lovable no matter what anyone says or does.

2) Men don't like intelligent, successful women. (Her boyfriend rejected her when she was hired in a big company.)

I am attracting men who like intelligent, successful women.

3) I don't deserve a loving relationship. (Her Dad left when she was five-years-old and she felt responsible.)

I am only responsible for myself, I am a good person, and I deserve a loving relationship.

4) Relationships do not fit my self-image. (She saw herself as unlovable because her dad never said he loved her or hugged her.)

I am lovable.

5) I can't be me and be in a relationship. (Her mother told her that she gave up her dreams to be with her father.)

I am in a loving relationship and I am being me.

6) Men don't like me when they get to know me. (She did not like herself and she projected that feeling on others.)

I like myself and men like me.

7) My friends will be jealous. (When she was a teen-ager, her friends rejected her when she became popular.)

I am in a loving relationship and my (true) friends are happy for me.

8) Relationships don't last. (Her parents were divorced.)

I am in a lasting relationship.

9) Men try to control me. (Her brother and father were controlling.)

I am attracting a loving partner who supports me being me.

10) I am not good enough. (No matter what she did to please her mother, it was never enough.)

I am good enough.

11) Men are mean and abusive. (Her father was mean and physically and verbally abusive.)

I am attracting kind, loving men to me.

12) My mother will be jealous of me. (I am afraid that my mother will feel badly if I am happier than she is (or was).)

I am in a loving relationship and my mother is happy.

13) I am unattractive. (Her mother would often criticize her looks.)

I am attractive.

14) I am unimportant. (Her Dad was usually working and he spent very little time with her.)

I am important.

15) Men only want me for my body. (She is very attractive and men seemed to focus on her body.)

I am attracting a man who wants to be with me because he likes and loves who I am.

16) I can't trust men. (Her father had affairs.)

I am attracting a partner I can trust.

17) I feel guilty for leaving my last partner. (She felt she did not deserve a loving relationship.)

I am a good person and I deserve a loving relationship.

18) There is no one out there for me. (She was attracting men that were not suitable for her.)

I am attracting my perfect partner at the perfect time.

19) I am afraid that I will have affairs. (She cheated on her first boyfriend.)

I trust myself to be loyal to my partner.

20) Men want me to be weak and submissive. (Her mother told her that she had to make men feel superior and let them win in sports.)

I am attracting a loving partner who wants me to be his equal.

If you related to any of the negative thoughts, cleared them, and said the positive thought, you probably feel better about relationships and yourself. If you still are not attracting what you want, then write down the following: "I can't or won't be in a loving relationship because____ (and finish the sentence)." Then do the same process as above. You do deserve a loving, healthy relationship. Go for it!