There is a good deal of confusion these days about what Counselling really involves. Often Counselling brings to mind images of 'patients' reclining on couches in stuffy consulting rooms with equally stuffy therapists; or of highly 'qualified' experts offering advice on how people should go about living their lives. Many people, particularly men, are suspicious about counselling. They worry that by going to a counsellor they are showing that they are weak, or admitting that they have failed in some way. Some people worry that counselling will 'make' them lose control of their emotions and they'll be embarrassed by the counsellor.

Others see going to see a counsellor as a sign that are going crazy or mad, that the counsellor will label them as mentally unwell. Others worry that counselling is only for people who need others to solve their problems. Others worry that the counsellor will 'see' or 'know' things about them that they don't want people to know about. The list goes on. In reality, professional counselling is not at all like this.

Counselling is a professional, helping relationship between two people (sometimes more, such as in couple or family counselling) - a counsellor and client. The purpose of the relationship is to explore, address or resolve some life issue, concern or difficulty. This is achieved through a collaborative process, where the counsellor and client work together toward reaching a well defined goal or objective.

Most people attending counselling face some difficulty that they've been struggling to resolve on their own and sometimes they've lost sight of what's really going on - counselling helps to clarify and understand their concerns more clearly and to then develop better ways of responding to the challenge they face.

Sometimes people engage in repetitive, unhelpful behaviour in relation to the issue, and benefit from the opportunity to explore and enact new, more helpful solutions or responses to the issue, or to start to learn new skills and behaviours which will help them cope better in the future. Sometimes people can only see a problem from one angle, and benefit from developing an alternative point of view of the issue. Sometimes counselling is about all of the above.

Counselling is non-judgmental and is NOT based in the counsellor giving 'advice' to the client. The counsellor might offer observations or suggest strategies to assist the client, however, this occurs in the context of a supportive, working relationship where the client ultimately decides what will or will not be effective. After all, the client has the most expertise in their life. Counselling is always (or should always be) aimed at encouraging the client to be increasingly able to understand and meet their own needs, rather than encouraging the client to become dependent on the counsellor to fulfill this need. It's important to keep in mind that counselling is not always 'touchy-feely' or gentle, or designed to make you feel good. Sometimes counselling is compelling, sometimes challenging, sometimes confronting, sometimes intriguing. At other times it can be humourous, even fun.

The counsellor's role is to act as a facilitator to help the client understand their feelings, behaviours, relationships, situations, challenges, choices and decisions - whichever is relevant. In addition to facilitating this understanding, counsellors may help clients to develop new skills that will aid them to handle their challenges more effectively.

Most counselling occurs in the confidential confines of a counselling room, although increasingly, counselling is occurring in a number of different environments such as in homes and workplaces, in public places that offer a degree of privacy, on the telephone, and more recently over the internet via email, as well as text, audio and video 'chat' type communications.

There are many, many different ways in which counselling is carried out. It's a good idea to try to find a 'counselling modality' that will fit with your own needs and understanding of life. For instance, 'cognitive behavioural' and 'rational emotive behaviour' strategies and concepts place emphasis on the client's thoughts and belief systems, 'humanistic' approaches emphasise the quality of the client-counsellor relationship, and others emphasise emotional experience. Solution focused approaches are less concerned with the past and more with what occurs in the future. Some modalities require longer commitments than others. Some are talk based, others action oriented. Research suggests most counsellors utilise or draw from a variety of perspectives, but will favour certain styles over others - when choosing a counsellor it's a good idea to ask about this so you can find an approach that seems right for you.

Regardless of the style or modality being offered, counselling is aimed at assisting you to improve your sense of wellbeing and your ability to enjoy your life to its full potential. Why not try it - who knows what you'll discover.