I met a man who shared with me a story of serious consequences. He described a terrible marital situation with the balance of his marriage weighing on one major meeting between himself and his wife. He did what a lot of us do; He sought the opinion of others. His peers gave him a lot of support and a lot of advice. They encouraged him to stand tall and give his wife a piece of his mind. They motivated him to meet her with an aggressive position and tell her how it was going to be from here on out. He met with his wife. He began telling her of his demands and expectations. In shock, she turned and walked away. The marriage ended in divorce.

When I met with him, he cried. He reported that he never wanted things to end this way. “I love my wife.” He corrected himself and said, “My ex-wife.” He told of how he took the well-intended feedback from his friends and took their position. The sad thing is, this was not his position. He wanted things to work out between himself and his wife. Now he was struggling with the aftermath of a painful divorce. He said, “Not a day goes by that I don’t miss my wife.” “I am so tired of waking up and going to sleep in an empty bed.” “If I could only turn back the clock, I’d take it all back.” “I should have never listened to my friends.”

If you are not sure where you stand on an issue, then a good approach is one of silence and prayer. Spend more time alone, away from the noise and distraction of the television and radio. Take time to be outdoors, with the fresh air and the sounds of nature. Ride around with your windows down. By slowing the amount of stimuli in your life, it gives you the ability to clear your thoughts. Relaxation tapes and prayer time are extremely helpful. A confused mind cannot exist in a relaxed body.

Don’t let someone else’s opinion or advice pull you away from your feelings and needs. There is nothing wrong with seeking out the guidance of others, but do not let them decide for you. You have to be true to yourself. You have to answer to yourself. You, like this man will have to be responsible for the actions you take. Let these decisions be your own.