If we do not handle criticism well , we may lower our self-esteem. We all know the difference between feedback and criticism.
Criticism is based on personal interpretation according to personal experience and personal history.
Feedback is based on observation without interpretation.
Why people criticize instead of giving a feedback? According to my experience I have noticed that people criticize because they feel inadequate, they want to feel superior to other people. People with low self-esteem usually put other people down through criticism so they can feel better about themselves.
Sometimes I think that criticism is a habit too. If we grew up in a family with a lot of criticism, the members of the family are not aware of the damage they are causing. They criticize others because they were criticized themselves, and they pass this habit to the next generation. That is because I believe that is important to be aware.
I have learned that the best way to handle criticism is not to get hook. Sometimes for me my first reaction is to answer back. However, I have learned that this is the best way to start a fight. I have found that one of the best ways to respond is not to respond. What do I do then? I change the subject, I do not say anything, I use humor, or depending on the situation and the person whom I am dealing with, I may assert myself. I ask myself: is this worth it?
The more conscious we become that the criticism we receive comes from people who are in pain and have no other way to express it, it will be more easier for us to handle it.
By being aware we are capable of stopping this habits. By being aware we are capable to handle criticism in a different way.
For me there are two points involved with criticism. The first one is to know that if we are receiving criticism instead of feedback , we are dealing with someone with low self-esteem. The second point is to ask ourselves some questions: Is it worth it to answer back? I am going to change the other person by getting hook?, Why do I get hook? , What do I fear?
An I always remember that I can learn something from criticism and take it to my advantage.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. Eleanor Roosevelt.