Have you ever caught yourself saying “that’s just me”, or “that’s how I was brought up”, or “it’s in my genes”, or “it’s my parent’s fault”, or “if only you would leave me alone”? Ya, well, surely most of us have been here. These expressions and feelings are simply a result of conditioning following the same principles Pavlov used to elicit a response from his dogs.

Stimulus = Response

If this is the case, and if all of us are simply a result of all the conditioning we have endured throughout our lives, how can we know that what we are experiencing right now is the truth? How do we know what really exists?

Well, there are a few endowments that separate humans from animals. Some of these include: freedom to choose, conscience, self-awareness, imagination and independent will. Animals, even the most sophisticated, have none of these. This inevitably means that they cannot change or direct the programming or conditioning. In fact, they are not even aware of it. But because of our unique abilities we can rewrite the programs for ourselves, completely separate from our instincts and training.

What this means is this: between the stimulus and our response, we have CHOICE. We have the responsibility to make decisions for ourselves. The word responsibility when broken apart suggests “response-ability” – the ability to respond. Highly effective and proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame conditions, circumstances, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a result of their conscious choice and is based on values, rather than a result of their environment which is based on feeling. Highly reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, and by their environment.

As Gandhi once suggested: “They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them”. Further to that, Eleanor Roosevelt observed: “No one can hurt you without your consent”. Therefore, an insult or negative remark is not an insult until you accept it as such.

So let’s start taking responsibility for our actions, reactions, and non-actions. These are all choices. Every decision you make WILL affect your life. Choose wisely.

I don’t know about you, but I plan on living in integrity every day so I can be proud each time I claim “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday”.