After planning for your new illness support group for weeks, or perhaps even months, it's finally time to have your first meeting. You've gone through the steps of preparing a proposal to start up a support group. It's been approved by whoever is in charge, such as an organization or church. And you've put together a welcome folder for all the people who will attend. You have topics to discuss, speakers scheduled, and perhaps even a study planned.

So, you're meeting is sure to run perfectly, Right? Unfortunately, all the plans in the world cannot cancel out a few unforeseen situations. Below are four of the aggravations you may experience during those first few meetings. Knowing what hurdles you may encounter can help you be prepared in advance.

(1) Few people attend.

How it feels: Disappointing. After all the work you put into it, not to mention the passion you feel about doing this, it seems like such a wasted to just have one or two people show up. Understand that this can be typical, especially at first, when everyone feels a bit intimidated. Try not to take it personally. To be honest, you are fighting an uphill battle in getting people to attend a chronic illness support group, because when people feel ill, they usually want to stay home, not go out and socialist. But when they are feeling well, they'd prefer to do something more fun then sit around and talk about their illness.

What to do: Hope for the best and prepare for the few. As a Christian organization, the HopeKeepers small group program founder says, "Although it's disheartening when just a couple of people show up, I know that God created that appointment. When I led a group once, just one person came, but we had the best conversation and she admitted that she was extremely shy and likely would not have even spoken if other people had attended the meeting."

Keep a summary of your lesson plan, even including the topics that were discussed. This way you can easily "replicate" the meeting another time with little preparation. Lastly, consider calling people and, without adding undo pressure, ask them what challenges are preventing them from coming? Is it transportation? Is it the time of day? How could you make it easier for more people to come?

(2) Everyone seems to ignore your lesson plan.

How it feels: You may be quick to assume that your ideas are just not interesting or helpful enough for people's circumstances. You may even feel a touch of anger that people don't appreciate the time you spent preparing.

What to do: Allow some flexibility at first and then add in more structure as the group meets. The truth is that most people are probably excited and even relieved to have other people who understand what they are going through. Simply gathering people together in one room and can open the floodgates of emotions that people have held back for years. It's hard to hold up a book and a lesson plan and force people to remain focused when a member is in tears over the ending of her marriage, for which she blames her illness. This situation can occur at any meeting, but may be more frequent during the first month.

Share with your new friends about your desire for the group to be a safe place where people can share their deepest fears and challenges, but that you also want to make sure everyone leaves feeling more refreshed than when they came. Tell them you respect their time and want to get them out on time (and they can talk afterwards if they wish). Explain that to do so there will be times when you move from a very emotional setting towards closing the meeting with an uplifting article, scripture, poem, prayer, devotional, etc.

(3) Everyone just complains about everything! Their relationships, the medical professionals, their illness-the list is never ending.

How it feels: Like you are expected to manage a small riot. There are many built up emotions where people have experienced deeply wounded feelings, unjust consequences, and even medical errors. It can seem they want you to fix the situation or else they will talk incessantly about it to everyone.

What to do: Set up some basic guidelines before your first meeting if possible, and include the "venting guidelines." Read "10 Ways to Make Your Illness Support Group Uplifting." Set a timer and allow everyone to have 60 seconds to share their most frustrating experience of the week. Start a contest with a prize for who handled their situation the best or most creatively. Or be silly and give an award for someone to take home for the week, like "Aggravated the Alligator Award" (a rubber alligator)

Don't forget to include others in the conversation. For example, say, "Jane, some of us can really relate to what you are feeling. Is there someone here who would like to share how she or he has dealt with these emotions?" If you are doing a lesson plan, say, "Since I want to get you all out of here on time, lets move on to question six, and if someone has some encouragement for Jane, they can share that with her after our meeting." (Make sue that someone is you if no one else steps forward.)

(4) One person continually dominates the conversation; she takes over the meetings and completely disregards your plans or people who are trying to talk.

How it feels: Aggravating! You've spent a lot of time preparing for this special time and to have someone come in and take on an overbearing leadership role can be exasperating. When you can see the person leading your group down a path of negativity, you may also be worried about how many people she is scaring away. Will others think this is what your group is all about?

What to do: Set firm boundaries from the beginning. While it's vital that people are encouraged to communicate their frustrations, they are also responsible for respecting others in the group. They need to watch their language, the quantity of time they dominate a conversation, and how they comment on people's treatments or decisions.

Put together some simple guidelines at the beginning that you hand out to new members in a welcome folder. Then if the person dominating the meetings doesn't get your hints, speak with her privately. You may also want to put her in charge of a certain part of the meeting so she can have a designated time to talk and be in a leadership position. When situations like this occur, people can be gently reminded of the guidelines they received when they first joined the group. It won't feel quite as personal as you correcting their behavior.

In conclusion, understand that leading an illness support group is not the uncomplicated task it is often assumed to be. Sometimes we think of it as simply letting people know when you're getting together to share and support one another, loads of people show up, and everyone's personalities click perfectly. Don't be alarmed if it doesn't work this way.

It takes a special person who can effectively communicate with people to lead a support group. A facilitator must be able to gently guide people in the path you wish them to go, so that the group makes a positive emotional impact, rather than becoming a complaint forum. A leader be compassionate, but also able to set boundaries or diffuse anger. As circumstances arise, ask other leaders for ideas and support. And most of all, remember that no leader ever feels one-hundred percent capable. Having a willingness to learn and listen are some of the top leadership qualities in which to invest.

Do you have a chronic illness? Get the first 40 pages of "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend" when you sign up for our monthly ezine HopeNotes at http://www.restministries.org/res-ezine.htm Plus find other articles all related to chronic illness and information on National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week at http://www.restministries.org Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries which serves the chronically ill through Christian resources and other programs and support group materials.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_Copen

If you've been plagued by a problem in your life, especially if you've had that problem for a long time, you might assume that you'd be eager to get rid of it. You might think so, but actually, when you get right down to it, the contrary is often more true.

People get used to having their problems, even though they may be uncomfortable and you would like to get rid of them. You see, you may KNOW how to be depressed, or anxious, or sick. Those feelings, although uncomfortable, are familiar to you.

Contemplating something else is a bit scary. It may be hard to even imagine what life would be like without the problem that has been with you for so long. Contemplating and taking action to do or be something else is even scarier still.

In fact, sometimes the problem becomes your identity. The way you talk about having or working on your problem may sound like it is your career. When you talk about "my depression" it may sound as if it is your best friend. It is easy to slip into this habit, and to think that the problem is part of your life forever.

The belief that you can't change may be so strong that it blocks all attempts let go of that problem. Before any useful work can be done to change the situation, you first need to understand what that problem "means" to you.

There is a series of questions I often ask when I'm beginning to work with someone who has had a long-lasting problem or one they report has stubbornly resisted all their efforts at letting it go:

1. What will happen if you let it go?

Imagine and consider all the possibilities, both good and bad.

2. What will happen if you don't let it go?

Again, imagine and consider all the possibilities-good and bad.

3. What won't happen if you let it go?

What will you miss?

4. What won't happen if you don't let it go?

Does having this problem "protect" you in some way?

These questions help you identify the positives and negatives you associate with having the problem and getting rid of it. Sometimes there are clues about why it is hanging on. There may be a belief that you'll lose something important by getting rid of the problem.

Ultimately you need to believe that your life will be better without the problem than with it. Once you believe that and are really ready to take that leap of faith to let it go, you CAN change it.

You must be willing to risk being somewhat uncomfortable, and to let go of the problem you know so well in order to discover the life you want to have. Until you are willing to to that, you won't be ready to change.

It's actually a lot like a swinging on a trapeze. You have to be ready to let go of the swing you are one, to get where you want to go. When you are ready, there are a lot of methods out there to help you. Let it go...The outcome is definitely worth it.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach, trainer and owner of Inner Resource Center, LLC. She has 30 years of experience helping people overcome obstacles, change their lives, and reach goals they had not thought possible using her solution focused approach. She specializes in helping people get unstuck from negative emotions and limiting beliefs that sabotage their happiness. Get additional free tips and challenges for getting unstuck from her Inner Resources report at http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com or contact her for a free 20 minute consultation.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Linda_Pucci